Love 5: Together

Forever, forever you'll stay in my heart
And I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together, together, that's how it must be.
To live without you
Would only mean heartache for me
I Say A Little Prayer for You, B. Bacharach-H. David, Copyright (C) 1966

Ideal love is very hard to find. We have to find something that is good enough and learn to live with that, or live alone.

Love 4
Love 6

love is like a box of chocolates, full of nuts and softies
Sun Apr 4 11:44:16 1999

Buddy, hoping QLD is the best thing for you. I understand your trepidation in telling me, but it's okay. the more important bit is I hope you have found true happiness and i won't be that far away. Make sure you take care of each other, you and jo. xoxo
spud - Mon Apr 5 20:28:39 1999

Together for ever is a very long time...I just wish I could find another woman who wants to be in it with me.
heartbroken - Tue Apr 6 19:26:58 1999

heartbroken-you are not alone.
Tue Apr 6 20:05:31 1999

awwwwwwww Heartbroken....stop looking for a woman with 'forever' in mind....and look for one that just wants to be together...it definetly gives you more options and less of the heartbreak at the end.
^Kerry - Thu Apr 8 7:15:34 1999

Ok this isn't about love as such but it's on topic. Why do so many guys cruise you then, when you decide to go for them, they back away? I mean, all that game playing then leading to nothing! Are they just being safe? Do they get scared? I wish men would just leave me alone if their intentions are just a passing sport. Either that or at the very least be responsible for their actions. Thanks, I needed to vent that. I haven't felt this rejected in a long long time.
Chopin - Fri Apr 9 10:30:11 1999

Chopin-one of my friends is exactly the type of guy you're talking about...for him it's about finding out what's on offer. Who's out of his league, and who's not. I think it's an ego thing.
Fri Apr 9 11:44:20 1999

Why aren't we aloud to think in terms of forever? If hetrosexuals can mate for life - why can't homosexuals? I do want 'just to be together' but eventually I would want the prospect of abit more....shame on me for expecting that!
heartbroken - Fri Apr 9 15:29:16 1999

Heartbroken - Forever is a long long time. I do not believe that anyone can say how they will feel in 50 years time, which isn't even forever. Marriage was founded when people lived till about 30 or 40, so forever wasn't that long. But now we live till close to 100. Will you feel the same when you are 70 as you feel when you are 20?
Panther - Sat Apr 10 9:10:49 1999

heartbroken, heterosexuals don't mate for life. That's a myth expolited by the church (Tying not to get religious here) and hollywood and the like. The only real difference is a legal definition of current relationship status - and that is liable to change anways. Enjoy the love you have while you have it - tomorrow will come along.
ravel - Sat Apr 10 9:53:11 1999

Hey Panther, Just love all these little pink hearts. So Cute!
Party Girl - Sun Apr 11 22:03:18 1999

My boyfriend of three years has just moved to London. He was planning to move there when we met but then just never got around to it. He has gone to learn some of those important lessons of life that you can only learn by yourself when your travelling. I sent him with my best wishes and all the love and strength in the universe but now I want him back. Being single sux. I know he will be back when the time is right and I don't want him till he has learnt those lessons but I am very lonely now. I want someone to cuddle at night, someone to look after and someone to look after me. I have had to ask for a month of no contact because every time I talk to him it emotionally takes me back to him walking through the departures gate. There is no set date for his return but it will be at least a year. I need to know how to cope in the meantime and learn to live as a single again and not wait by the door. He is staying with friends so i know he is safe and because everything is new around him it is exciting. Everything around me is a memory and while I am slowly making some changes it is not easy, it is almost like someone has died. Has anybody been through anything similar and do you have any suggestions of how to cope?
BND - Tue Apr 13 9:20:11 1999

Love? I know what it is like but I don't want to tell someone "I love you" to scare him off at all. Seeing a guy in Sydney while I am in Queensland is hard enough. Seeing a guy in Sydney taken by another guy when I am in Queensland waiting for him to turn back to me is even worse... I was in Sydney last week to see him, celebrated his birthday with a romantic dinner at the Doyles at circular quay with the harbour view was the most memorable moment in my life with him. I gave him a lovely present, each thank he said to me really did mean a lot to me. But I want more than just thank, I want him to let me love him too. He is dating someone now, as I see him getting closer with another man does make my heart hurts tremendously. As all I want is a year time to let me settle down in Sydney next year and I will ready to know him better, if he does give me the chance as well. But obviously time won't wait and he is now dating another guy, even he knows that relationship can be 50-50, as that guy might have to go back to his own country end of this year. Why does he take that risk to be with a guy who only will be here for 1 year and not take the risk to get to know me better for waiting a year and we will be together forever when I am in sydney as I am willing to settle down with the one I've been looking for so long and is "him"? I confused, and I did put all my effort, but I gained nothing back, I am not sure what to do now. He does appreciate the friendship between us, but I want a little space in his heart for me. I wish every day, every piece of my brain cell does have his name engraved on them, I do miss him alot. I need help....
LoveWatch - Wed Apr 14 0:11:33 1999

BND - You need to keep talking to friends and making sure they invite you to dinner or whatever to help fill in the lonely hours. Bore all your friends silly.

LoveWatch - You need to make sure he understands this. Talk to him about it. You understand very clearly where you are, but he only sees from the outside in. He may not know what you think is obvious. Try to work out some way that you can both go forward.
Panther - Wed Apr 14 9:03:43 1999

I did tell him how I feel all the time. I really can't think of anything else that I can do to show him how I feel for him. And he does know how I feel too, is just that he is dating someone now and he did tell me, once he is dating a guy and he won't go for another one, thats why I like about him and I do appreciate that very much. There are too many things I wanna tell him, tell him how I want to share the future with, tell him I like the way he talks, he smiles, he everything, but I know is not nice to do this when he is happily involved. But I will wait, I will wait because I know he is worth it. I hope he will wait too, wait for a year until I move to sydney and wait till he asks me out for dinner and movie and even wait for the first kiss with him.
LoveWatch - Wed Apr 14 13:23:54 1999

Hi, this is the first time I've written to one of the graffiti walls, but I noticed a message here written by my ex(on love 4:fever). I'm sorry MB, I've never been as happy in my life when I was with you. I made the most stupid decision of my life the day I left you. What was I thinking? How could one possibly find something greater than true love? I've realised that the man I am with now is not who I thought he was. I thought he was making me a stronger person, to speak my mind and follow my dreams. But these must all come from within oneself. I have established very little trust with this man, and I know I am not in love with him now. My body and heart ache to get back with my true love, but I cannot just get up and leave. Even if I had an open door right in front of me, beckoning me to run through, I don't believe I could do it. I feel trapped. There are people that I care too much about who will be hurt as a result of me doing this. I know I can do it, I know I will be with my true love again soon. I admire my true loves patience throughout this. I know most of all that I am the arsehole for leaving him in the first place, all I can say is sorry for all the grief Ive caused. In time, we will be together, this is not something I can just run away from. I've ran from too many things in my life, and will not do it again. And, the age difference has never been of concern to me, true love crosses all boundaries. I L O V E you, fluro!!!!
JW - Wed Apr 14 15:00:03 1999

JW' For a lot of my life i thought i was happy with material things like expensive cars and friends who i hid my true self from, Then you came along and opened my eyes to the most fulfilling and awaking experience of my life, Love. I know Love can cause the worst pain and anguish but i would never, not for a moment turn back the clock on that sense of loss if it meant i never met you! I feel so whole so complete Loving you, My life has no true meaning or purpose unless i can put someone before myself, That someone is you JJ. My heart and soul i give to you, I will wait for how ever long you need, I know your heart is kind and your intensions true,that you loath to hurt people. Though your at the other end of the country and i cant hold you i'm still so happy knowing that you Love me, I can feel it and thats all that matters.
MB - Wed Apr 14 16:33:22 1999

Perhaps JW and MB should indulge in some good old face to face making up. I have had the most warm and passionate times mending broken situations. Shame it takes a shit-fight to get that though. Oh well, love is a four-letter word, I suppose.
Wed Apr 14 18:32:04 1999

I have a new friend at Kentucky and I do love to him but we are so far what can I do, I just hope can be meet him soon and give all my love for him. love and loving you Michael
Dany - Thu Apr 15 8:38:26 1999

i lovs yas all
Thu Apr 15 11:15:54 1999

do u guys think I should give up on this one sided love thing and let him go with another man?
LoveWatch - Mon Apr 19 1:37:42 1999

yep. What is there another answer?
Mon Apr 19 20:02:06 1999

eek i love her, i love her, i love her...realising you love someone but can't tell them is worse loving no one at all. I am going crazy loving her, and seeing she doesn't realise...i can't say it though. I don't know why, maybe because i have never said it before, but i can't tell her how i feel, and yet i can't bear her not knowing.....aaagggghhh
Mon Apr 19 20:05:37 1999

All the lovely heart shape love on this page, all I can see a crack in the middle of each of them...... I lost my battle, and I lost the man I have the most feeling for. I feel suffocated. I feel strangling by an invisible rope. I die, I die in peace..... I die in silentness..... and I die in loneliness..............
LoveWatch - Mon Apr 19 20:13:26 1999

LoveWatch , I know just how hopeless you feel for i lost my true love to someone else, i know the despare. But my true Love has come back to me because it was True Love, Deeper and more real than superficial moments of fun. If he is your true love he will come back to you sooner or later. If you really feel that he is the man for you than what are you waiting for, Put him on the spot, tell him you will move to Sydney Now! if thats what it takes, tell him you will throw your job, whatever away to be with him. If the answer is still no than hard as it is you must put your self in a mind set to accept the fact that it might never be. All i can add is i would gladly wait a year for my man but i would also throw my job and old life away without hesitation to be with him.
MB - Mon Apr 19 23:23:33 1999

MB, I've been waiting for him for more than 1 year! We had a big misunderstanding last year and ignore each other for about half an hour and we chatted back last month and the friendship growe even stronger. But because I love him too much and it is all one sided love, is nothing I can push too hard. Moving there and throw my job to be with him is sound really nice and romantic, but thats not what he is after. And besides, it will make me sound more like a clingy person to him and he doesn't want that at all. Besides, he is with someone now in Sydney, and I am kinda of happy for him but of course my own sense tell me I am a "loser". Even when I am trying to be nice and ask about him and his guy, all I got back "Don't try to be a jealous BF". It hurt me so badly.... all I have done for him can only view from the negative side.... I really don't want to gain it back, I want a remedy to let myself get over all these.... because I finally realize, my love is for someone who has nice part and bad part, but the bad part manipulative the whole body of him and I think he doesn't deserve me.
LoveWatch - Tue Apr 20 10:48:05 1999

LoveWatch, I'm sorry it has come to this for you, You cant be a loser to risk your heart for some one else, a loser is some one who wont risk there heart who wont give there love. You said it yourself "he doesn't deserve you" I hope it doesn't take to much time before you can love and be loved by some one who deserve's you. Surround your self with friends you can lean on if you can. I guess you know the only remedy is time and/or anothers love.
MB - Tue Apr 20 11:44:19 1999

Yeah, I know what I am suppose to do now. I learnt my lesson and I learnt my expensive lesson. I know money is not everything, but I do share everything with him, and I dont expect anything back when I bought him nice romantic dinner, a nice watch as birthday present, a nice top for the winter days and a teddy bear to hug when going to bed. I am sorry I can't share myself more with him, I did think what I have done is enough to gain your love, but I know the more I give you the further you will be apart from me. Besides, I see the realistic world now. I am so thankful I have thoughtful friends around me, cheer me, talk to me, share my problems with me. A simple phone call from friend and being funny on phone is all I need. I know only few hours of laughs and smiles do make a big different in my life now. I am so grateful to have this bunch of friends, thanks you all so much, you guys always in my heart. Thank you to you too MB.
LoveWatch - Wed Apr 21 11:16:24 1999

Love is so elusive and so transient. I am slowly becoming convinced that there are no nice, normal women out there - they all have some kind of agenda. The 'plenty more fish in the sea' cliche flies out the window when the pond is so small.
N - Thu Apr 22 11:28:42 1999

I love you bugger bum fluff
uknowwho - Fri Apr 23 16:20:20 1999

everybody has some kind of agenda, wether it's love or lust or point scoring, we all use each other, i'll love you so you will love me type thing, sometimes not often the bull will clear and a real person will appear grab them don't take them hostage but don't let them slip away because of bad past experience, lots of luck and love ,
still loving - Fri Apr 23 20:50:25 1999

Still Loving, I love what you have said, at least I know someone still believe in Love. Bad experience do give the love a big torn inside and all is just a matter of time, to let someone use a simple thread and needle which matches the crack and stiches it back until it is torn again one day or it never will if it gets lucky.
LoveWatch - Tue Apr 27 9:42:10 1999

still loving..... wanting to be with the one you love is not "having an agenda" - it's wanting a chance at happiness and wanting to feel that special good and loving and motivating feeling *all* the time. for me it was wanting to see us both fulfil our potential....and have a lot of laughter and loving and harmony together. she's gone now....looking for greener pastures. maybe she has an agenda?????
Tue Apr 27 22:41:57 1999

when both agendas are the same and they come together the words are lost and the loving begins, but have we all not some time in our lives done things or acted ways to draw the attention of our unsuspecting (possible life partner), or they us?? it's not a bad thing having an agenda it keeps things in perspective or else we would sleep with everyone and fall inlove with everyone but we (ok some do ) don't because we want something more real and longterm, sorry to hear friend is gone maybe she may realise that she should've looked after her own garden before going out for greener pastures
S.L - Tue Apr 27 23:09:00 1999

Happy Anniversary Bub, Loving you with all my heart ----->----@
tub xo - Sat May 1 0:58:00 1999

I am currently seeing a woman who says that while she grows to love a person eventually she doesn't ever 'fall' in love. I can see this becoming a very one sided situation really fast. Should I walk and continue my quest for true love or should I stay and see what develops?
N - Mon May 3 8:17:02 1999

N - Is she worth trying/waiting for? Does she really love or just get used to that person being around?
Panther - Mon May 3 8:47:31 1999

Hmmmmmmm. Not sure of the answer to either of those questions...
N - Mon May 3 15:29:41 1999

How do you deal with a boyfiend who(due to his past relationship experiences)accuses you of lying and who reads even the most innocent of messages as evidence of your infidelity? I really am at a loss. I love this guy, but he is always seeing my friendships, some of which were relationships originally, as threats to "us". Any suggestions welcome.
despairing - Tue May 4 14:00:51 1999

Dammit Sha Sha, what are we waiting for? Let's run away to the mountains and have lots of beautiful furry fake babies.
Officer BB - Tue May 4 20:42:31 1999

some people hide hurt feelings with distancing themselves from others and not "falling in love " is a way of saying i am not going to let you hurt me and it is one sided but unless that person is willing to allow you in or realise what they do , you will always be bashing you head against a brick wall the problem is if you leave you validate there "nobody loves me anyway trip" hard one N, look after you , you are the most important person on this earth.
Tue May 4 21:33:09 1999

Despairing - If you have tried to discuss this with him but not gotten anywhere, then maybe you should try couples counselling.
Panther - Wed May 5 9:03:27 1999

Despairing, I am in the position of one of your friends...., I would like to spend time with my dearest friend ( who happens to be an ex from so long ago, seems like another lifetime ) but my friends current partner has a serious problem with me, views me as some sort of threat. I dont understand this, i am in a very happy long term r'ship and I pose no threat.........I honestly think it is your job to reinforce to your b/f that you need your friends, that they are no threat and that a healthy relationship with a future needs trust and a level of independence, I would say the more you reinforce this the more secure he will feel. Unfortunately my dear friend didnt deal with this and as a result a damn good/ long friendship is falling apart
peas and corn - Fri May 7 11:24:39 1999

Peas and Corn - As you say, it is extremely important to maintain friendships outside your relationship. Though someone's partner may be their best friend there will be times when they need an outside point of view. Or maybe they just need someone to talk to about things they don't want to discuss with their partner. I see so many people falling head over heels in love and shutting out everything else. Then when something goes wrong they can't find any friends. Though this is when a friend in need can be a friend indeed.
Panther - Sat May 8 10:21:45 1999

Die all you homo's slowly and painfully!
Adolf Hitler - Sat May 8 19:22:18 1999
(Repeated about 100 times)

Someone didn't seem to have much to do tonight!
Sat May 8 21:47:02 1999

someone should ban that piece of shit from using writing equipment or did his mummy help him
Sun May 9 15:06:52 1999

Could someone advise me what I should do I was involved with someone I loved dearly and now we are parted. I am going to beats and clubs but just cant get over it. They say time will heal but it is getting worse J
Mon May 10 3:38:37 1999

Adolf alias cutzz Who are you to talk
Mon May 10 3:39:49 1999

J - From this brief outline I can't really comment. I suggest you phone up your local Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service and have a talk.
Panther - Mon May 10 8:55:36 1999

J - Perhaps if you had actively sought out the professional help you needed, undertaken the couples counselling that was arranged and stopped traipsing around on the Gay scene with your manipulative and psychologically/sexually abusive Mother three times a week while you told your partner that he had to stay home because he wasn't welcome (then said HE had a problem because he wouldn't accept that) then your gay relationships may work better. How can I possibly still be involved with you?
Used and humiliated. - Mon May 10 9:19:57 1999

J and used and humiliated, You two need to sort your shit out.
Mon May 10 10:47:52 1999

Hmmmm. What can I say ??? Im home alone ( again ) and bored. I need some action
Here's hoping - Mon May 10 21:23:14 1999

Any other gays about ???
West Sydney - Mon May 10 21:24:19 1999

peas and corn- it takes two to stop a friendship from falling apart completely- I've really been trying and am running out of time before you go away. It feels like I'm losing part of me- when are we ever going to have that catch-up?
cessy - Mon May 10 23:15:58 1999

all these hearts shit me, sorry but it's true, keep on loving
n - Tue May 11 21:38:02 1999

Cessy I will give you a call, lots to work through, isnt it strange that two who are so close resort to a bulletin board to communicate, i didnt even know u read pinkboard
Peas & Corn - Thu May 13 9:46:45 1999

Bub, Just wanted to say thank u for taking care of me, I know I can be a huge pain in the rear! xxoxo
Anderson:) - Sat May 15 1:11:08 1999

David loves Peter very much
David - Sat May 15 18:15:35 1999

Hello. Anyone here tongight ???
Hmmmmm - Sat May 15 18:36:27 1999

What is love anyway? - Does one ever really find it? I'm beginning to think it all bull where gay relationships are concerned!
Mon May 17 13:38:49 1999

I know of mayn gay relationships that work (including mine). Despite not really being able to define what love is I think many/most of them rely on it.
Panther - Mon May 17 22:10:25 1999

in comparison with hetrosexuals who marry and divorce or have relationships and break up I would think we would even out in the unsuccessful and successful stakes, love to me is enjoying my friends company in all we do and respecting them as an individual, sure it can be trying at times but i think once the hard times are gotten over things settle down , we have a very quiet life spend a lot of time at home and socialise occasionally , i think if either of us wanted to party alot or go out more we wouldn't work as we both wanted to settle down and enjoy our home, animals and each other, we have lots of fun it's like having a best friend i sleep with, maybe i got lucky but theres nothing out of the ordinary about me that it can't happen to anyone, chins up love is good.
5yrs and going strong - Tue May 18 0:11:47 1999

Congrads 5yrs, sounds like the two of you have made the connection that so many are searching for, sure maybe you got lucky when you met your partner but then again maybe you have put in the hard work and made the sacrifices that so few are prepared to do.
The Happy Poof - Tue May 18 10:37:32 1999

i was dumped by my partner of 6 months about 2 months ago. My first serious relationship. I've never felt so rejected and sad ever. Not only did i lose my boyfriend but i also lost my job ( i resigned from work cause we worked together). I still think about him every day, wondering where he is. About two weeks before we broke up he left a letter in my mail box telling me how much h e loved me. I still check my mailbox ever day hoping that he has left a letter telling me that he wants to give us another go. I still have his photo up on my wall. Can't get him out of my head. Anyone been through this? I know that i'm idealising him and it probably wouldn't work if we got back together but how do i get over thinking about him so much? anyone got any advice??? lonely and depressed : (
Wed May 19 6:30:36 1999

lonely and depressed - It sounds as if you are stuck in the grieving process. I suggest you talk to some friends. See as many of your friends as you can and just talk about your feelings. Some will try to cheer you us. Some will give you platituteds. Some will tell you not to be so stupid. Some will just listen. It doesn't really matter what they tell you, they'll be helping you get back into the human race. If your friends can't or won't help call your local Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service.
Panther - Wed May 19 8:54:38 1999

Time , lonely and depressed is about all that can heal the hurting, in a couple of years you'll wonder how and why you ever hurt this much my heart is with you as i think i and most people have been there.
keep busy - Wed May 19 12:06:29 1999

Thanks Panther and keep busy, i really appreciate the empathy and advice : )
lonely and depressed - Thu May 20 20:30:29 1999

Lonely & Depressed. I have been through this and still have my ex's picture. I think I am lucky to have know him. I live here and he lives in NZ. I miss him very much but have resigned myself to the fact that we will never get back together again. I treasure the time we had together. I love him very much and would dearly like to be with him.
Anno - Thu May 20 22:00:22 1999

I just want tell everyone how much I love my girl Paula. She loves me too. She made me chicken soup when I was sick. She's the best.
minor celbrity - Thu May 20 22:33:12 1999

I just want tell everyone how much I love my girl Paula. She loves me too. She made me chicken soup when I was sick. She's the best.
minor celebrity - Thu May 20 22:33:23 1999

same same. my minor celebrity ruski
p - Thu May 20 22:37:45 1999

chicken soup will get ya every time!
Ms Guided - Fri May 21 12:20:31 1999

chicken soup = true love, i always get to choose the tv station and he bakes muffins for me, but it's not true i carry on the unwell big kid act longer than i really am sick : )
aaachooo ah is that a muffin i smell? - Fri May 21 20:22:50 1999

to lonely and depressed i too was dumped by my first love. I moved here from albury as this is where he was planning on going. It turned out I got a job before he did. Two weeks after me moving here he dumped me because of the "distance thing". he now has no intentions of moving here. I have done all of the advice given above and he still won't get out of my head, I have been very depressed and moody but after talking to a lot of people and getting out and about, I am slowly coming around. I keep telling myself it was his loss, I am the one who moved here, I am the one who is now living a dream and I can now have my pick of any guy that takes my fancy!! It does take time ( i was dumped 7 weeks ago, especially with first loves) but if you get back out there you will find lots of friends and lovers to hang with
lonely and depressed no more - Mon May 24 20:43:52 1999

To lonely and depressed and others who have commented. I too have recently ended a relationship and can relate very well to this "grieving" process that we all seem to go through when these things happen (I keep telling myself it's a normal reaction and time will heal the pain). I was still very much in love with my ex when the relationship ended and this seemed to exacerbate the loneliness and depression even more, despite the advice from friends and others that "it's for the best etc". I went into a real deep void after this and couldn't think straight, function well at all and my self esteem plummeted. Now with a bit of time having passed by (although I'm still far from "over it"), I am starting slowly to become more positive and looking at the end of the relationship as a positive step towards finding another relationship that will (hopefully) be much more stable, compatible and work better than the last (ie: accepting the "moving on" thing). Not having a great deal of maturity in these matters made it even more difficult but by looking at the whole experience as a learning experience in life rather than the "tragedy" that I initially thought it was does help ease the pain a bit. Everyone is also right when they say that time does heal and certainly keeping yourself busy (and not dwelling too much on the previous relationship, rather looking forwards to possible future and better ones) and easing yourself back into a "life" step by step (not impulsively) does help.
N (still looking for the love of my life!) - Tue May 25 6:16:12 1999

As I was reading your posts I couldn't help but think how much of it sounds like a chapter right out of my life. I, too, am going through the same struggle to stay strong and not go back to what I know to be an unhealthy place for me. I'm trying to keep busy and remember that this will eventually get easier. The hardest part is to keep from running back to what is familiar, even knowing what it holds, because it also has its small comforts. You have to remember that if you run back you might end up having to go through this whole separation anxiety all over again when/if things don't change, but you'll feel even worse about yourself for having put yourself back into that environment. If I sound like I've been here before, it's because I have. I'm trying very hard to get past this stage of readjustment. I know if I can just make it over the hill, things will get easier, but it's tough sometimes. Use this time to take care of you. When you start to feel better about yourself, you'll wonder why you ever let someone disrespect you that way. I'm really looking forward to getting to that stage of things. Until then, I'm just trying to remember that I will get there if I can just be strong. Hang in there, the unknown has to be a better option than being alone in a relationship. You deserve better than that. Found this in a co dependency bulletin board, which may help us all j
Tue May 25 23:34:03 1999

N you could still be a friend
Wed May 26 0:27:23 1999

What happens when you get back on your feet and you keep failing in relationships? I don't think I could handle one more. I hate this lonely wasteland but relationships are just as painful.
Wed May 26 8:26:00 1999

As J says - Look after yourself. In fact indulge yourself. Eat lots of chocolate or do all those other things you usually avoid doing.
Panther - Wed May 26 8:32:47 1999

Wed may 26: 8:26 Maybe you're failing in relationships because you havent found the right one yet? Maybe its because you're not willing to compromise. Hard to say without more info. I often called of r'ships or found they were not working because I was happier being single. I think when you find someone special you are prepared to make sacrifices and compromise, if it doesnt work out then well it really wasnt meant to be and you've gotta believe there is somthing better out there
the Happy Poof - Wed May 26 10:38:16 1999

Love? i've never known love and i doubt i ever will. Why bother with love, i say. It's a lot easier for me to just freeze. to become ice and then nothing will ever hurt me.
19 but who cares - Wed May 26 11:33:36 1999

To 19 but who cares. You'll thaw out eventually. Just wait for the right "ice breaker" to come along. As they say, "no pain then no gain". I don't think anyone ever "hurt" by love on these boards has ever really regretted not initially being in love in the first place. Good luck and best wishes.
N - Wed May 26 11:44:56 1999

Oh Mon Dieu! I'm making the whole thing sound like a hideous S&M experience! The love I've experienced in my relationships has mainly always been tender, full of care and many, many happy memories. It can hurt financially to fork out $5 for a Tattslotto ticket, but the gains can be insurmountable to the cost! Emotionally, love is a similar experience for me. I'm just waiting for my Division one (or two or three, I'm not greedy) to come along!
N - Wed May 26 12:00:02 1999

I'd suggest to anyone that's struggling with a breakup or relationship or anything attached to the word "love", watch the movie "Ever After". It's a feel good movie.....Enjoy. P.S. Those that aren't should also indulge, I wasn't and loved it.
L - Mon May 31 15:37:21 1999

Hi L, you sweet woman my life is so much richer for having you as my friend. Love you always.
bear - Mon May 31 16:39:51 1999

Who stars in the movie "Ever after"
Mon May 31 22:41:46 1999

Who stars in the movie "Ever after"
Mon May 31 22:42:08 1999

Drew Barrymore plays Danielle (Cindergirl) and Anjelica Huston plays the wicked stepmother. Can't remember the Prince's name. It's based on Cinderella, Drew looks as georgeous as ever....
L - Tue Jun 1 13:56:01 1999

Big Bear, such a sweet thing to write. I'm lost for words..... I think you're fab just as you are, forget about all the others that can't see the beauty within, it's there loss. Love always
L - Tue Jun 1 14:06:10 1999

you'll cry, spit poison, laugh, get depressed, act totally out of character, try for revenge, act cool, maybe have lots of little flings, fall in love again, go back, leave again, yell, try to manipulate, question your looks,age,sexual abilities,sexuality, talk to your mother at 3am after a drunken night at the sauna (oops a bit personal there), and you will still feel like shit and nothing no-one does or says and nothing you do or stop doing will make you feel at ease, but then later on after many days,weeks,years things will become clearer the fog will lift and although you will be cautious you will love again but this time you will be armed, but 1st 2nd or 3rd love still hurts it just gets easier to deal with, just remember there are no unlovable people, and no matter how you feel you are never alone. happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to see them come true.
thickshakes and mudcake help - Thu Jun 3 0:04:09 1999

That just made me cry.
Nik - Thu Jun 3 9:37:35 1999

I love you Odyssey, Love J
Tempest - Thu Jun 3 20:10:17 1999

Hi I'm 28, and have been in a relationship for approx 4 years, and am still debating whether that is a good or bad thing ! Just in search of some advice guys and dolls ! When do you know the show is over and its time to lower the curtain on a relationship ? And where do you go for that next step of strength and support, if all those you knew left as they .....well....how does one put it nicely.... they left because they hated her and thought I was a royal idiot !! Yep I guess that says it well !! If you get a chance please leave a clue ? Love + Peace.
Blue - Thu Jun 3 13:33:36 1999

Blue - You are the only person who can know whether this is the right relationship. Maybe it just needs a few things changing. Maybe you need to try something new, either with your partner or without. That new isn't necessarily sex, it could be friends, it could be travel, it could be hobbies. Some of your friends may still be willing to listen. Maybe you can find some new friends. Your local Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service is also willing to listen.
Panther - Thu Jun 3 21:18:48 1999

Blue, I dont know if this advice helps, and it is a rather selfish way of looking at it, but well here goes....... Do you get as much out of the r'ship as you put in? are you happy? If you're not happy do something about it and if that doesnt work then by all means get out, Life is to short to waste. Too often a two week crush/ affair can turn into a four year rship when really it should have been a two week thing. But on the other hand if you love your partner and it is returned then you should be able to work through things and she shld be putting in as much energy as you. Were all your sacrifices worth it? I dont believe you should have let your old friends go, but the past is the past and you would be surprised how many friends would support you and if you keep yourself busy it makes the change easier. All the best whatever you decide
the Happy Poof - Fri Jun 4 10:08:30 1999

Blue, whatever u do, don't stay in the r'ship because you fear being lonely or that it feels like you have no support. Family and friends tend to rally around you and when your on the emotional rollercoaster ride you will be surprised who you meet and how many new faces you see with all the extra time
tHP - Fri Jun 4 10:18:30 1999

Well, 1 Year into the relationship and things are more wonderful than they have ever been. Initially we both had some doubts (as I guess everyone always does) because his last partner broke off the relationship after 12 years and that had only happened a short time before we met. The break up was quite nasty, and his ex kept all of their belongings (damn lack of defaco relationship laws - at least we have them now!). It has taken a while for some of his friends to adjust to me, I think many of them wanted my partner to go back to his ex (only for their own selfish needs) but now they are slowly starting to get used to the idea of us being together. To all those who are still searching: Try and remember that life is still a wonderful thing even if you're not in a relationhip. There are many wonderful, kind, and interesting people in this world so get out there and have fun (and just ignore any crap people you happen to meet along the way). To all those in love: May your love for each other grow stronger every day as ours does for each other.
Boy In Lurv - Sat Jun 5 11:45:55 1999

may your joy be my joy, and your pain mine too. may your life by my treasure, and your spirit my muse. may your strength be my inspiration, and your dreams my guide. may your comfort be my endeavour, and your being my life. ********************** i wish so much that the person this poem was meant for could read it....
casper - Thu Jun 10 0:25:55 1999

Hello Casper, I hope that the person you wrote this for does get to read it. If they don't, and even if they do, you should tell them how you feel anyway. Big risk I know, but if you don't you will never know what the response might have been. I would be wrapped if somebody had written that for me.
Fri Jun 11 11:28:11 1999

ok i was in a very nice settled relationship in one of our rural areas when a job offer in sydney came up. not wanting to pass it up, WE made the decision tomove to sydney. I moved first as he had no job and was not going to move here without one. now 8 weeks later, i have been shunned, snobbed and ignored for no reason (well none given anyway) i have contemplated moving back but have decided that this move was right for me. however, in 2 weeks i have to make a trip back down there for a farewell where it is very likely we will meet up (this place has only one nightclub) should i a) ignore him and get over it (which is proving very hard) or b) have it out with him and ask what the hell is wrong, what have i done; so there is some conlcusion, finish, and in my life all advice gratefully noticed
lost in sydney - Fri Jun 11 13:58:24 1999

fri jun 11: thanks... but unfortunately, i already know what the response would be.... so i think telling her would just make things harder - i don't want to put her in a more difficult position.
casper - Fri Jun 11 14:11:29 1999

Casper, Tell her anyway. Let her be the judge. I know that is a really hard thing to do. If you tell her, you will get some indication of where her feelings are at. If she is not interested, then it helps you to move on. If you don't say anything, you keep hanging on to the fantasy that someday she will just "know" how you feel about her and you keep imagining a time when you will be together. If she is interested, which she must be on some level for you to feel that strongly for her, then Wow. Fortune favours the brave, as they say in the classics, or somewhere. Go do it. It will help get rid of that vague sick feeling in your stomach that is probably there all the time, and 10 times worse when you are around her.
LH - Fri Jun 11 16:30:29 1999

LH: i have actually told her once before (a few months ago) though the feelings at that time weren't quite as "mature" - until this week i thought i had managed to shake them off.... no such luck i guess.....
casper - Fri Jun 11 19:42:11 1999

LiS - b)
Panther - Fri Jun 11 21:27:07 1999

Women give me the shits!!!! - why are we all a pack of bitches????
Sat Jun 12 12:57:11 1999

Women give me the shits too! I'm sick of them. Love? What is love? I sure as hell can't find it! And I don't want to hear the usual platitudes like "When you stop looking it'll come". Argh! There must be some good ones out there somewhere.
Sick of it Nik - Sat Jun 12 18:02:12 1999

people in relationships give each other the shits at times that never stops, it's part of life don't take it as the end just as a part of a person you don't understand, otherwise you will never find anyone, if someone was perfect and didn't give you the shits them being so wonderful would probably eventually shit you of, and just remember if maybe you can give somone the shits as well, i have a partner who only after 5 years has started to come to me after a argument and apologise, i always started the talking and apology process in the past, i'm not perfect and can accept when i'm wrong (eventually) it took him a long time to do the same, compromise is wonderful. And so is love don't give up.
never thought it would happen to me - Sun Jun 13 10:55:52 1999

wooo hooo nik - someone who agrees with me - women shit me so much at times and I'm sick of em too!- Its us good ones who get walked over all the bloody time! - Its no wonder men say they can't work women out - I'm a woman and they still confuse to bejesus outta me!!
pissed-off - Sun Jun 13 18:52:23 1999

well, i told her and showed her the poem.....
heartbroken casper - Mon Jun 14 10:39:02 1999

Thanks pissed-off, it's nice to know you're not alone!!!!
Nik - Mon Jun 14 18:14:53 1999

Have you ever loved somebody so much, it makes you cry, have you ever needed something so bad, you can't sleep at night, have you ever tried to find the words, but they don't come out right, have you ever, have you ever? - Brandy I love those words and the song just makes me wanna cry.
Nightraven - Mon Jun 14 22:23:49 1999

Nik...talk to me
Ms G - Tue Jun 15 15:48:42 1999

Hey Casper, Good for you. You have shown honesty and personal integrity, regardless of the outcome. Hope she can do the same. It is always better to know that not to know. Hope she also comes to appreciate what a big risk you took, and how much it cost you to do so.
LH - Tue Jun 15 18:51:10 1999

thanks, LH... you're right, it is better to know, and now that i do, i can concentrate on moving on. thanks for your support.
heartbroken but healing casper - Wed Jun 16 0:06:07 1999

Sure Ms G!
Nik - Wed Jun 16 7:57:50 1999

P.S. What would you like to talk about Ms G? Would you like to name a topic or shall I carry on with the bitching and moaning. Public or private?
Nik - Wed Jun 16 9:23:00 1999

well we can carry on our bitching an moaning on tit bits and leave this wall for the sweeter messages. C ya there!!
MsGuided - Wed Jun 16 11:46:50 1999

bah humbug!
Nik - Wed Jun 16 15:41:14 1999

Oh how I love him! I have been waiting for him all these years, keeping him always in an altar inside my heart. An altar he deserves, has always deserved. Now he is back, his smile is the same, he has changed a lot, but he still got his looks. And he loves me, he says so and I believe him. But he wont stay long. I will always love him and he says the same to me.
Wed Jun 16 16:46:03 1999

Love is the most powerful force on earth.
Romanticissimo - Thu Jun 17 12:10:43 1999

Yes love is the most powerful force on earth - but it can be complete bulls**t too!!
MsG - Thu Jun 17 16:36:12 1999

I'm a die-hard romantic inside. I'm loving, idealistic, altruistic and sensitive. I'm also picky, fussy, self-absorbed and impatient. And I'm brown. If only if only if only if only if only love were colour blind!
Brown-skinned Boy - Sat Jun 19 20:19:42 1999

MsG! Shame on you! What are you doing back on this wall being cynical? I thought you were going to leave this for the sweeter messages! Hmmm consider yourself chastised.
Nik - Mon Jun 21 8:59:12 1999

true love is colour blind, but it cant exist when humans destroy it because it doesnt fit a preconceived mould
tHP - Mon Jun 21 10:10:48 1999

re lost in sydney on fri jun 11 can someone please give me some advice i have to go down this weekend and don't know what to do?
lost in sydney - Tue Jun 22 21:05:00 1999

ooopppss - sorry Nik - ***clenching my buttox from the kick I just received**
MsGuided - Wed Jun 23 10:03:44 1999

Lost in Sydney, mate u need to communicate, I dont know how long you two have been together, but if you left with the understanding that he was following, then where is he? have u asked him this? Come on.... someones got to be the adult I wouldnt ignore him. Assuming it is over, you need proper closure and the best way for this to happen is to do it face to face. Dont worry if u shed a tear or two, u will walk away feeling much better. If you decide to stay together, boys u need to communicate better, come to an understanding of how it is going to work. But my last piece of advice (which comes from experience and a lesson learnt well) if hes staying there and you're staying here with neither party prepared to make a sacrifice then end it now. LDR have a short life.
tHP - Thu Jun 24 12:34:30 1999

I love Jeannette. I just wanted to tell the world.
Jenny M. - Thu Jun 24 15:04:44 1999

drem - Fri Jun 25 0:08:51 1999

DR.DRE - Fri Jun 25 0:09:23 1999

Master P - Fri Jun 25 0:10:32 1999

The oldest mistake in the book - Falling for a (probably) straight friend. Youd think at 31 Id know better. Messy as hell cause the affection is returned - just not in the romantic sense. Not making a move for the sake of the friendship, but not being able to give uup hope. Is there any way around this besides easing off on the friendship till isnt doesnt hurt so damn much?
dan - Sat Jun 26 21:45:28 1999

Dan - Talk to him. If he is a real friend he will tell you the truth. If he says no then maybe not seeing him for a while until you can cope with seeing him again. Don't throw away your friendship though.
Panther - Sun Jun 27 14:02:08 1999

Dan, this is good advice from Panther. I know it hurts. Try and get some distance there so you can be as objective as possible. Don't keep breaking your own heart!
Sun Jun 27 17:11:24 1999

thanks guys. Its a tough situation. We've talked about it briefly and he means well. I can see how much it hurts him (as well as me) when I distance myself. Im pretty sure we'll work it out somehow. Seems like you dont choose to be straight either... Ain't life grand
dan - Sun Jun 27 19:27:30 1999

hey Nik and MsG..We aren't all bitches. Don't give up the search....with each endeavour we grow in stature..our hearts are more vigilant and our heads are less jaded. For a while afterwards it may seem the complete opposite...but after the tears have dried and the longing subsides...it all becomes evident. I have a poor track record and was starting to believe that I was just pathetic at any form of relationship, then I just realised that each of these have just been a stepping stone towards something magical and more importantly something long lasting. Here's looking forward to the next step in the history book...or perhaps even better a new page into the future.
^Kerry - Tue Jun 29 6:47:58 1999

Well yes, I have heard these things before: that there's something bigger and better waiting just around the corner etc. But what if there isn't? What if you've had the best of it? I'm not getting any younger here!
Nik - Tue Jun 29 8:10:48 1999

Nik - If you give up then there is definitely nothing more. There are plenty of others in this world who are getting older. As the average life gets longer there will be more relationships that start later in our lives.
Panther - Tue Jun 29 8:52:19 1999

My boyfriend of 3 years moved to London in march and I sent him with all my love. It was a journey and growing up experiance that he needed to do and if he hadn't gone then we both admit we would have not lasted. When he went we agreeed that we would see how the cards fell, we are both free to do as we wish. Since he has gone I have realised how in love I was with him I am and he has grown as a person and gained the self confidence that I always knew and told him he had. Problem is I don't know if his growing up has made us grow apart. I knew and accepted that next time I saw him he would be different and that if/when we got back together we would need to renegotiate our relationship. I have had a very black period over the last 24 hrs realising that we may not be lovers in the future but just friends. He tells me that he still loves me and my friends have all been there for me. Perhaps I need to have faith in our love and accept that he is focused on himself and not take that as being rejection of me. I am planning to see him at Xmas and I know that as soon as I see him I know i will know where I stand. What do others think? How am I going to get through the next 6 months without going around the twist?
BND - Wed Jun 30 12:06:30 1999

B.N.D. let me know what happens, i am about to head o/s for twelve mths and leave the love of my life behind. I think as u say it was something he had to do... as it is something I have to do. I was going to speel off a whole lot of crap about fate and destiny bla bla bla.....but I think u just gotta take each day at a time and when u meet up see what happens. I dont know how we'll cope but "the plan" is to keep regular contact, not pretend that we can do without sex for a year, but to keep our emotional commitment to each other. Many friends say it can't be done...a yr is a long time...your both young....I might not come back... They cld be right but u know what I dont think so, we've been through a lot together, and the bond is strong, Ive done LDR before and there not easy but this one feels different...I wish you luck must be hard for you thinking of him out there. new ppl, new experiences, but its prob just as hard for him, prob many lonely nights feeling homesick and pining for you. Get your arse over there for xmas be honest with each other and try not to place to many expectations on each other or on what will happen...
tHP - Thu Jul 1 0:04:27 1999

Thanks tHP that really does help. God I can't wait for xmas I was dreaming about it last night. Its gonna take a long time comming. I think we just gotta keep talking and loving.
BND - Thu Jul 1 9:02:49 1999

BND you know you have nothing to worry about. Although I may be living in London, I have a future with you. If I didn't start travelling soon, I would have become your bitter half!!!! Yeah, I am experiencing all sorts of amazing things over here, but I have learned to appreciate the things I took for granted in Australia. Sometimes I think I have the easy part in this bargain, because my senses are so overwhelmed I don't have time to think. I love you beautiful boy, and I miss you like crazy. I am hanging out to see you at xmas and new year. Gatecrasher, all the way!!!! When you have dark periods, just remember the scorpio tattoo on my arm is a permanent fixture in my life, as are you.
Dirtybird - Fri Jul 2 10:48:57 1999

Do you ever crave love so bad, but the idea of being with another person scares you s***less? Even to the point where you lose your sex drive?
Fri Jul 2 13:38:17 1999

Do you ever crave love so bad, but the idea of being with another person scares you s***less? Even to the point where you lose your sex drive?
Fri Jul 2 13:38:45 1999

Do you ever crave love so bad, but the idea of being with another person scares you s***less? Even to the point where you lose your sex drive?
Fri Jul 2 13:41:10 1999

To my sweety Karen,after almost 13 years,I love you more each day. Love always Lisa. 0+0+0+0
Lisa. - Fri Jul 2 22:02:27 1999

BND and tHP - I wish you both the best. You have a difficult time ahead. I suggest that you make sure you have supportive friends to help you through the particularly lonely times.
Panther - Sat Jul 3 12:10:46 1999

Crave love - I suggest that you seek professional help for your problem. Don't be ashamed and hide it, just go somewhere and ask for help. Your doctor may be able to give you a referral, or your closest sexual helth clinic. Your local Gay & Lesbian Counselling Service may also be able to help.
Panther - Sat Jul 3 12:13:02 1999

honesty will take it futher break the limits lie peaceful in you arms and kiss you softly on the lips each morning.. thank you for not deciving me i miss you but duty calls.....
Sat Jul 3 16:06:11 1999

BND&DB-kool :-)-lyb
GND - Sat Jul 3 20:02:08 1999

can anyone help me? i have just moved here from the country and am having a hard time coping. My ex dumped me two weeks after moving here and I just can't seem to get over it. I try to go out and meet new people but find the clubs are to "looking for sex right now". I know i might be showing my naivety here but what ever happened to getting to know someone (a quickie/one nighter is good too , don't get me wrong) but it seems all the people i meet are after "fresh meat" and then i never hear from them again or end up feeling empty inside. are there any community groups for people around my age (26) where it is a social group not a pick up point??
Sun Jul 4 14:40:42 1999

Have a look at Pinkboard's Community Noticeboard.
Panther - Mon Jul 5 8:53:24 1999

seems as tho nobody has anymore to say about love.....
Thu Jul 8 9:50:02 1999

The fire in her touch; Ignites the flame inside; Need, want, desire; To devour her every inch; Every curve, every mound Of soft aching flesh; Breathless with anticipation; Time suspended Laying the foundation Slow, gentle, no need to rush Feel every kiss, Abosorb every touch.
latte (pondering) - Mon Jul 12 21:08:34 1999

Haven't quite worked out the spacing on this thing yet. On the above post where you see (;) please read 'new line'. Where you see a capital letter, please read 'new line.'
latte - Mon Jul 12 21:10:33 1999

Bloody Women! :(
Tue Jul 13 9:58:10 1999

Hiyas, I see there are all types of people at different stages in the journey of life. I see the pain and i see the joy, but what i guess i want to say is cliche' but it is better to have loved and lost than never loved. I say this as i have lost and lost many times for many reasons. Blame is easier to assign than it is to get on with your life, give it a go everyday is scary but hell the rewards are there, look for them dont wait, stop bitching and moaning. Nothing comes to find you, you have to look for it. What i say seems harsh but it is what i Have learnt. Ive recently met a man that has it all as i see it, he has his head together and ambition, its not impossible they are out there and usually they are found when the concerntration on finding them is not so intense .
Happy Chappy - Tue Jul 13 12:52:47 1999

When I was young (from7-23)I dreamed of the day I would be in the arms of a loving, passionate, forever together man. At 23 I discovered heaven he came in a compact size, horny as a rabbit and fussed over my like i was some type of demi-god it didn't last he was seasoned I was green, new face in town had to jump on that train and he stopped at all stations including my heart. I suffered greatly, he moved on, I questioned many things am I gay, is love real, who the hell was Laura Palmer, etc etc. It took 3 years of madness, me running back and begging for him oh god all that ugly behaviour, anyway a couple of years of short flings or relationships whatever they were , I sound flippant but I was no longer sure about anything although some of the men I met were really nice nothing seemed the same, I stopped trying to find my 7-23 yr old myth and decided to just be and by golly I started to be happy I was confident, started to groom myself properly and no longer had fu@@ off written on my forehead, I was suddenly getting compliments and offers and even had rational conversations with real people, the conference in my head finally retired, out of all of this I just wanna say, love and I eventually banged into each other when I least expected and probably least wanted it but it happened and has for exactly 5yrs today, It may last forever or may not but yesterdays history , tommorows a mystery all we have it today and I plan to enjoy today to it's fullest although it's nearly over we had a great lunch a walk along the beach reminised about our meeting and then came home to our dogs and cats and birds, life is wonderful for me I hope others can relate or will do in the future but I never forget that making my well being first and foremost in importance allows me to be here and enjoy this, take care theres no such thing as an ugly or unimportant person.
rich home with john - Tue Jul 13 21:57:15 1999

yesterdays history , tommorows a mystery all we have it today and I plan to enjoy today to it's fullest.....Yay for rich home with john:)))...my sediments exactly - this is how I govern my life - most of the time - sometimes it easy - other times it hard - but I always try and remember this. Enjoy your happiness - I will enjoy my time on earth and happiness will be mine.
MsGuided - Wed Jul 14 10:50:54 1999

My name is Michael **** of Alice Springs, This lonley town of Alice Springs just has no real men around , It is a desert with no seamen to be found anywhere. I need a holiday , i want to meet a man. Please email at **** I want to make friends over the net. Hurry before I dry up !!!
Michael **** - Mon Jul 19 19:21:49 1999
Personal ads are not permitted in Graffiti Walls.

I need some advice from all you great guys out there. My boyfriend left me over 2 years ago but a day still does not go by without me thinking about him in some way. Maybe because he was my first love I still miss him terribly. I am in another relationship at the moment but the intense love I had for my previous lover is not the same as my feelings now. Do you only find true love once in this world? What do you do if that true love leaves you?
Steve - Mon Jul 19 23:43:51 1999

Steve - Often love gets better, but still the first one is precious. If the memory of your first relationship is affecting your life and ability to love in a big way then maybe you should seek some counselling. Or even just talk about it to a close friend or two. There are probably some unresolved issues, or maybe just a lack of completion.
Panther - Tue Jul 20 9:07:04 1999

What happens when your ex has been on at you for the past 3 years to get back together until as recently as last week. You resist until you finally say OK and they say No, they have met someone new but who is 'casual' and couldn't mean as much as you do to them. What is this supposed to mean?????
Tue Jul 20 9:38:32 1999

If you are serious I would say sit down and have a good long chat about all the problems you had while you were together. Work out if they will prevent you getting back together or you can cope with them. Work out some rules for your relationship. Maybe a mediator or a couples counsellor would be useful. Then go away, think of all the pros and cons of the relationship, then make an informed decision. I suppose the main thing for you to understand is why you ae going back.
Panther - Wed Jul 21 9:02:09 1999

Hi, i have just put my bf on the plane to London for a year. The regulars here may know him as tHP. I have just scrolled back and read the graffiti wall, im not sure what to say or why im writing this however, i have finally stopped crying and have started to become a little more positive. To BND to would love to know how you are going.
hlg - Wed Jul 21 22:14:23 1999

Why is there so much infedility amongst homosexual people?? - I know its also very prevalent in Hetrosexuals aswell - but how are we expected to have a loving relationship when there is so much betrayal???
Thu Jul 22 13:46:27 1999

Re the last post. I personally think there are many reasons for infidelity amongst homosexual men. I think (like our heterosexual cousins) that it is biological in part and social also in the respect that gay relationships are not accepted readilly in our society. This in turn places pressures on relationships that possibly would be more favourable in stability if they were heterosexual. Also I feel that the "alternative" culturalists frown on stable monogamous and 1:1 gay relationships to some extent because they draw a heterosexual parallell. I do know of many gay relationships that are not monogamous and work quite well. In that case there is often a clear distinction (and understanding) between love and sex with two adult people.
"Old Fashioned Values" - Thu Jul 22 14:10:40 1999

I used to shudder at the prospect of never falling in love. I still do. I'm trying to teach myself to be more independent. I'm trying to find meaning in my life so that even if Love doesn't come my way, I'll be happy. Oh, but my heart just aches miserably at the thought of never falling in love. Are there any people of bi/multi-racial parentage out there? Are you finding it hard (like I am) trying to find your own place and trying to deal with falling for guys of a different race, only to know that they're not interested because you're not this enough or that enough? My frequency must be really hard to tune into. I'm sending out explosive waves of love but everyone must be getting only the static.
RadioDreamer21 - Sun Jul 25 18:45:11 1999

radio dreamer try cds less hassle, seriously mate life is hard for everyone at some time or another just because we want doesn't mean we can have or that it is a fault of our own. Try enjoying life as it is and if someone comes along bonus if not bad luck, too much emphasis is put on having someone or getting off , do you have a good family? do you have good friends? do you like your job or whatever you do? do you like where you live? if not then why not learn to enjoy your life first after all it's up too you to make you happy. You can do it.
love you - Wed Jul 28 0:33:34 1999

SM love you always, seeing you again always brings a lump in my throat. You are beautiful.
Wed Jul 28 9:18:26 1999

Just remember, nothing lasts forever - even days turn to nights. Just enjoy what fate may have given you and learn from the experience.
Mon Aug 2 21:26:10 1999

learn this - learn that....what if there isn't a next time to put into action what you have learnt from previous experience!?! yeah yeah we grow and evolve and become a better person for it - what for if there is no-one to share it with!?!?
Tue Aug 3 15:00:48 1999

Is the point of life just to have a partner to share it with? How about all the other people we share our lives with: friends, families, strangers you smile at, waiters you banter with, etc. And when that special person comes along you can share it with him/her too. While you are waiting, do something you enjoy.
Panther - Tue Aug 3 21:36:10 1999

How does one cope with being told that they are 'second best'?
Wed Aug 4 12:30:43 1999

Tell that person to go F**ck themselves
nik - Wed Aug 4 13:03:42 1999

Wed Aug 4 12:30:43 1999 - This is just another was of saying goodbye. Breaking up is always hard. Cry on some friends' shoulders.
Panther - Thu Aug 5 19:49:31 1999

hlg, sorry I havn't stopped by this board in a while and diddn't see your message till now. You got a tough time ahead of you. I am a reasonably self confident person who thought I understood how I would feel about it all but learnt a few things about myself that kind of scared me. Everyone is different but I went through a lot of steps, trying to replace him with other people who looked like him or in some subliminal way reminded me of him, doing the big slut thing (7 boys in a week), became very jelous of boys he was seeing, crying on the phone in the middle of the night and generally having a bad time. Things are better now that I have them in perspective, I can see people for who they are and not because of resemblance to someone else. I still love him with all my heart and will see him at xmas, for the first time in my life its exciting to have to wait, I just hope the spark is still there. If you need to chat email me boynxdor@speednet.com.au Maybe I can help with what you are feeling at the time. I promise you, things tHP wrote to me on here certainly helped. What you've got to face is a lot harder than what your partner does, everything here has a memory (we used to always sit over there under that mirror, we once had the best dinner together in here, that was his favourite shop [god he could spend hours in there] etc etc) Its a long road with a lot of risk and possibly hard times but with a bit of support from friends, family and other people you meet you will get through ok. Good luck and write to me any time ya need.
BND - Fri Aug 6 17:55:43 1999

hgfhgfd
ghgfdh - Sat Aug 7 4:27:13 1999

hungered cling to the essence that create,caress with the lips of fate,adorn the bliss that tantillizess the soul,elucidating the sheer desire to rapidly unfold,sparking the wanton romance of the same,cLustering stars together create a vigil flame,the admiration in the warmth that can be shared,united as one we triumph the despair,cuddling the tears of rejection and torment waves splash soothingly for what is meant.
priscaydenhood, box 12374, a'beckett st, melbourne, victoria, australia, - Sat Aug 7 4:37:07 1999

Wayne my dearest worshipped soul, torment the agonizing heart to pleasently unfold.
P. - Sat Aug 7 4:38:45 1999

Hi there, i need some advice/constructive criticism... I have been looking for the love of my life for practically ever, but all i ever seem to manage is sleeping around with people who become somewhat tedious after the fourth time we have sex!! Honestly, i have tried to make myself like them, but i can not change the way i feel. I really like the idea of a commited relationship and i am a very sensual lover... I want to be hugged and cared about, not just sucked and fu@#ed!! As you have probably gathered i have never been in a relationship, I just wonder if there are people reading this who can relate, I am only 20yo, but this whole way of life is really beginning to eat at me... I just don't know what i can do about it. Anyone out there who can help?
Thu Aug 12 0:53:02 1999

Thu Aug 12 0:53:02 1999 - I don't know if this is what is happening, but are you concentrating too much on the sexual aspects? A successful relationship is much more than just good sex. Are just sleeping with these people and not getting to know them? Try spending non-sexual time with them, chatting, doing stupid things, going out, watching TV, exploring each other's lives. You may also need to adjust your expectations.
Panther - Thu Aug 12 8:56:26 1999

I used to go out to bars and clubs expecting to find the man of my dreams or at least a close second. However I was young, naive and new to the scene. It took me a good while to realise a couple of major factors for getting what you want, yet still keeping your self esteem intact.  You can make friends in bars & clubs, but it is very, very rare that they will become anything more than �Party Friends�. Social groups and meeting your friends friends is a much better way to develop more meaningful friendships.  If you like someone and it would appear that they like you get their number, go to dinner or just meet for a drink outside of �Club Land�. This way you will see them without your �Beer Goggles� on and get to know a little bit more about them than you would have shouting at each other in a crowded bar.  Try not to sleep with someone on a first date. If they are genuinely interested, they will want to see you again as they value you as a person/personality and not just a �Quick F#$k�. It took me 18 months to work this out and I now feel a much more rounded person with a small, yet very valued close circle of friends. P.S. I was introduced to my Boyfriend by one of my very dearest friends and we have now been living together for 20 Months and I have never been happier.
BlueBoy - Tue Aug 17 1:25:17 1999

It took me seven years to finally work out that the club scene was destoying my life. I agree, that mixing regularly with organised social groups is a far better option. It has proven to be a huge relief to meet people with some depth. A friend once warned me not to try to meet a potential boyfriend at a bar. I think his words were "if you dive into them, you'll break your neck!"
bellow kelvin - Wed Aug 18 12:44:56 1999

I meet this guy who I grew to really like. We went out for about four months or so. During this time I started to become more and more frustrated as he would not introduce me to any of his friends. I introduced him to some of mine even members of my family. On many different occassions I raised the matter and I was assured that I would be included. This never eventuated. A few weekends ago we went for a drink and I got angry over something fairly small and knew the real reason for my anger was the issolation I felt from his life. Finally I decided I had had enough and rang him to discuss this. He told me he had always had grave concerns for the future of the relationship. The reason for not integating me into his life, by not introducing me to his friends, was because of this. I felt incredibly hurt and used. It appears he knew all along that he had no intentions of developing the relationship and thought I somehow didn't need to know this. What upsets me the most is this sort of treatment by someone else can make you suspicious and untrusting of relationships. Why do people do these sorts of things?
Betrayed - Wed Aug 18 13:19:23 1999

To Betrayed - it's not such a bad idea for your friend to have done this. It's hard enough to work out whether you want a person to share your life without having your friends and rellies putting their two cents worth in. It's a pretty together guy who is willing to admit that not everyone he meets will be 'the one' - even if it gets past the second date.
angelboy - Wed Aug 18 14:28:56 1999

I love my bugger bumfluff, and I miss him so much, thinking of u always
tHP, sad at the moment - Wed Aug 18 18:57:22 1999

Thankyou to all who commented on my dilema. I'm the 20yo who seeks the relationship, but can only mange to get hurt and to hurt others. All your advice was good and I really do appreciate it, but is somewhat hard to take. Mixing in social groups outside the scene is perhaps the best idea and the hardest of all, as you have to meet them first! Anyway, I'm very resilient and I always bounce back... thankyou again. Some advice of my own to anyone who is hurting. Just try to remember that a full life will always be full of pain and just like sunshine follows rain, laughter will follow your pain.
Wed Aug 18 23:46:56 1999

tHP!!!! Hellooooo so good to talk to you tonight....wow we have both ventured on here on the same day but on different sides off the world. I miss you too and constantly wonder what you are up too. Dont be sad, this is your big exciting trip you are seeing the world and meeting new ppl. Cheer up im only a phone call or email away :) I love you so much and your name is permenently etched into my heart - nobody is getting near it whilst you are gone. Take care sexy boy :)
Hlg and Gaucho - the pup.. - Wed Aug 18 23:47:16 1999

BND - thanx for getting back to me, things are ok on my side of the world but tHP is sad at the moment. I dont think we both realsied how hard it can be being away from each other, i have had a few hard weeks, days off work etc but i feel much better now. All i have to do now is to cheer tHP up.
Hlg - Wed Aug 18 23:51:41 1999

Hi Hlg saw tHP message about Summer Rights and your comments on ARQ (I went there Sat. night and to the Sunday morning recovery) on the party board and decided to check this wall to see if you guys had passed through here also. DB (my BF) was at Summer Rights also and was on the phone to me on Tuesday night sad also. Me thinks Summer Rights must have been too much fun and they are just comming down! Glad to hear you're ok, Sydney has been busy and with Sleaze comming up I think it will be a big summer. Does tHP know anyone over there? If not I can put him in touch with DB who is a big party boy and is likely to be at the same events. He has himself establised now and they could be good support for each other. On another matter, "sexy boy" is my name for DB, don't know if this was a regular name you guys used but this is getting spooky!
BND - Thu Aug 19 16:38:27 1999

Are there any real men out there these days ?
grb - Sat Aug 21 5:38:56 1999

no grb....and there r no real women either :(
MsG - Sat Aug 21 10:41:37 1999

Darren, I know you'll never understand why I love you so much, but I do, and I always will. You are the perfect man for me..if you could only realise it.
Kevin - Sat Aug 21 12:18:42 1999

Oh !! there are real men , it's just that they don't do the gay scene , well if only ya knew why they don't bother going too gay place's ? hmmm !! think !
FunnelWeb - Sun Aug 22 2:43:34 1999

Take heart grb, my cries for a "real man" echoed off these walls nearly two years ago, and here I am now in the most *perfect* relationship I could imagine! Oh, and if you're anywhere near genuine, listen to FunnelWeb... you're unlikely to find anything of substance on "the scene". Get out there and enjoy life to the max! Do things that your typical poof wouldn't do or consider "fashionable" (erch!). Your real man is in the place you least expect, but *you* have to be there to find him! I found mine at a supermarket :-) Good luck my friend!
Dave - Sun Aug 22 23:56:48 1999

To Angelboy - maybe I should try not to be so sensitive. To be honest I think I am learning to play the game of life better. Do you have any other tips on managing men? Betrayed but learning
Learning - Mon Aug 23 15:52:30 1999

Earlier this year i had my first relationship with anothey guy. After years of believing that it was not possible to feel something special with another male, i was proven wrong. The problem was though that he burned me badly, and dumped me without giving me any sort of reason. After being highly idealistic about love, i now find myself extremely cynical of all gay men out there. I believe they are all out to hurt me in the same way. It's been months since the break up and i still cant get that "feeling" of wanting to love a man back. I am over that guy, but i feel that somehow he has taken that part of me with him. I wonder if anyone out there has gone through the same thing, and if you do, then tell me how you got that lovin feeling back... desaires@hotmail.com
disillusioned 22yr old - Mon Aug 23 16:37:06 1999

Disillusioned! You are only 22. Live your life. Yeah sure you got burned. We have all been burned and it will probably happen again. Get cynical baby.....but use it in a positive way. Every bad experience is still an experience and one that you can learn from and move on or one that will drag you down, your choice. Yeah.....men can be absolute bastards and in time you will hopefully be able to recognise the signs and recover faster. Whatever you do.....try and look on the positive side. Mr Phillosoapygushgushgoddammitt
Mr Phillosoapygushgushgoddammitt - Tue Aug 24 10:02:30 1999

Philosoapy..... You sound bitter and twisted....not. Good to see that some people can try and make the best of the worst situation! disillusioned, hang in there mate! It will probably take you a while to get over him but then you can move on to better things.
Tue Aug 24 10:06:19 1999

Everyone has their problems!!! Mine? Im an escort and can't seem to match myself with any other hookers that aren't continually on drugs or that have similar goals to myself! Well....probably stay single till I stop hoaring to put myself through uni.......some of the stories on this wall sound really depressing!!!Mine obviously small fry in my opinion.
skin - Tue Aug 24 10:14:13 1999

disillusioned - I don't think your feelings and experiences are exclusive to the gay community. We all experience heartbreak at times through our lives. I have certainly had my share of them. The "lovin" feeling will come back if you allow it. In the mean time try to join some groups ( see community groups ) if you haven't already. Also try to stay clear of the scene. I'm 28 years old and have alot to learn about relationships. The one thing I have learnt is that personality is the most important thing. Looks only play a small part for me now. Initially they were everything, but not now. Since I changed my approach I have had far more fulfilling relationships that have lasted much longer. I hope some of this helps
Dr Feel Good - Tue Aug 24 10:38:32 1999

dear disillusioned - if you combine the responses of Mr Phillosoapy....... and Dr Feel Good you will come up a winner. Just to add to their comments, I found that once I started loving (liking) myself others starting loving me. Positive thoughts attract positive emotion. Have a fun and love filled life
i've been there too - Thu Aug 26 13:36:42 1999

No I disagree with that, I think I'm a good person, I treat people nicely, I am kind with a lot to offer. I am happy with myself and the way I conduct myself. The pity is no-one seems to recognise it.
zac - Thu Aug 26 13:42:34 1999

Disillusioned - there's some interesting books on all of that around. Two that come to mind are "Forgiveness and other acts of Love" by Staphanie Dowrick (and she has another one which is even better but I can't remember the name) and "In the Meantime" (can't remember the author). They're pretty widely available and have some interesting concepts about getting to know yourself and others and forming relationships and keeping them.
angelboy - Thu Aug 26 13:57:59 1999

Dear all Life is a game, but it doesn't have to be a vicious one. However in my opinion one does need to be fairly aware. Think ahead before you speak or take action. I think it is fair to say that there are alot of people who don't care for anyone elses feelings but their own. The best way to approach people is from a positive, open attitude but not naive. Be aware and you'll be fine
Dr Feel Good - Fri Aug 27 17:15:34 1999

I have to agree with Zac. I too have got my act together, treat people like I would want to be treated and yet I still cant meet a nice guy. No Iam not unattractive or overweight, Iam cute and go to the gym. I really think its a Sydney thing the vast majority of guys on the scene have got way too much attitude , you only have to go to ARQ to see that .
Ex London Boy - Fri Aug 27 23:02:51 1999

This is disillusioned..... thanx so much for all the advice guys... i particularly liked the one about feeling good about myself first, and then others will start to appreciate the real me. I think i forgot to mention that that guy was actually my first ever boyfriend, and so the incredible feeling of finally finding someone special took me to such a height that the fall was massive... i do think that i do have a lot to offer, and i do realise that bars and clubs are not the places to be looking either. What has made it most difficult for me is to know that he moved on so quickly without a thought for my feelings and has now been together with some other guy for months. But the best thing about all the advice i have read here is that i have now realised that i will not get anywhere unless i move on and take the whole thing as a good/bad experience.
slightly less disillusioned 22yr old - Fri Aug 27 23:40:43 1999

Zac and Ex London Boy - Patience. They may be just around the next corner, but if you rush to see if they are there you won't recognise them. (Is that a song?) Maybe you are loooking in the wrong places? Maybe you are looking too hard? Maybe you have met him and just don't realise yet?
Panther - Sat Aug 28 9:16:32 1999

we find love when we are least looking for it. stop looking, and mr/ms right will land in your lap *g*
Heidi - Sat Aug 28 19:56:57 1999

at this moment in time , i feel so in love, i cant touch u, taste u, smell u or hear u, but our love is stronger than ever..
Sun Aug 29 1:36:42 1999

I fell in love with a 36yo "child" and unintentionally became embroiled in a power struggle with his "other parent". The relationship ended because I couldn't stop participating in that power struggle for the love of that child. I now understand just how powerfully emotive, intertwining and intense it can be when love and family cross paths. I really feel for anyone (parents or children, gay or straight) who are involved in such struggles involving love and parental separation and don't know which way to go. If you read this son, Daddy still loves you very much.
38yo "Daddy" - Sun Aug 29 8:41:51 1999

36yo son loves daddy no matter what faults either of us have. He is just so very afraid that if it was to happen again that he could not cope, it has been so very bad this time
36yo son - Tue Aug 31 1:55:17 1999

To both 'son' and 'dad'- I know your angst.....and how bad it can be ..... I 'lost' my 'Daddy' to a vanilla womyn. 'Daddy' forgets what a pervert she is........how long can she delude herself..............
Tue Aug 31 23:28:20 1999

To kiss the nape of her shaved neck, to smell the delicacy of fading perfume that was applied sparingly, to watch her face as a wide smile appears. Her eyes are what keeps me hopeful.....and her fine boned hands, thinner and less scared than my own than mine.
Tue Aug 31 23:47:20 1999

I am in the first weeks of a long distance relationship (within Australia) and my partner is concerned about how our relationship will develop. Our feelings for eachother are growing daily, and in the back of my mind I worry that the distance will place too much strain on our relationship. At the moment, it doesn't seem that we will be able to visit eachother often, but we both profess to have a strong attachment to eachother. What can I do to relieve a bit of stress...what's the best way to handle an interstate realtionship? It will be more than a month before we meet in real life...
Bic - Fri Sep 3 2:02:17 1999

Why can't all homo relationship be genuine? May be there is but I'm still searching for one :( I have just got out from a hurtful relationship where the commitment is just from me and later, I realised my future will be dread down by him if I continue being with him. Now, I'm more focused and try to concentrate on my career. Thanks Nick for teaching me this lesson, 'not to fall in love so easily'.
Dave - Sat Sep 4 3:09:09 1999

Dave; Keep looking, somebody will be out there somewhere for you. I think when looking for "these fish in the sea" some of us use the "wrong bait" and attract the wrong fish at times :-) As for falling in love can anyone really switch the intensity on or off as to how much they fall in to that? Good luck with your career but try and keep some balance in your life also. Your career won't come and give you a big reassuring hug when you feel down and out and I think careers also do a lot more taking than even partners in one sided relationships and tend to be counterproductive to many relationships (unless you fall in love with your Boss!)! Many hetero relationships lack a genuine air also.
Hurt too - Sat Sep 4 8:37:31 1999

What is love? Is it better to stay single and chase those 'highs' (and lows)or should you go with the one who offers security, friendship and a much gentler kind of love?
torn - Fri Sep 10 8:18:15 1999

Torn - sounds corny but I reckon that if you have to ask yourself to choose logically then the feeling needs to be analysed a bit more. It sounds like you want somebody to approve a relationship with a 'gentler' less intense kind of love. Last year I left a seven year relationship that fit this bill. Ultimately I felt that I deserved to feel exhilerated by love and risk not getting a constant non-passionate day to day love. Basically, I want to have it both and I have to wait for it patiently until it comes along (if ever). It's no use settling for second best.
angelboy - Fri Sep 10 14:26:16 1999

An important question that I feel needs to be adressed is; why do we all feel that we need to find love, be it man or woman, to be complete? why can't we be fulfilled in our lives just being on our own?
jaume - Fri Sep 10 23:58:00 1999

jaume - Good question. And why just one partner?
Sat Sep 11 10:58:48 1999

I can't find one let alone thinking about more than one, don't be greedy, if you have more than one, give 'em up, hand 'em over, let some light into my lonely life!!
mesolo - Sun Sep 12 23:13:05 1999

Some people don't need to find love. It might be a safer bet that way. By connecting with other people we have the chance to find out stuff about ourselves (if we try hard enough).
angelboy - Mon Sep 13 11:39:51 1999

i love my boy but when he gets out of it he run off to have sex with anyone what is the best thing to do...
desperate - Mon Sep 13 23:44:42 1999

Desperate - If he comes back then he is yours. If this isn't enough for you, then you will need to come to some agreemements about whether you have an open relationship, and if so, how you organise it.
Panther - Tue Sep 14 9:00:39 1999

angelboy very well put thats the way I have been feeling.
Mike - Thu Sep 16 20:50:58 1999

At the moment the love of my life and I are going through some changes. We have been together for a while now and I love her desperately....maybe too much, if that is possible. We have made so many plans together and now it it time to think about what is happening. How can so much change so quickly or has it been changing for a while and I have been too blase about this wonderful thing to even notice. God I really hope we work this out.....I am scared and sad now.
Sat Sep 18 13:14:05 1999

Hey sista, don't ever be afraid to change and take life by the horns! Enjoy the moment and smile, you have a rare chance to really feel true love. Love is a roller coaster but you only feel giddy after you get off the ride. Just keep going :)
LifeBouy - Sat Sep 18 20:15:18 1999

Wow, This is the first time I have read this wall. Seems to me that there are a lot of caring non-superficial guys out there.. The only advice I can give on meeting people is join arranged groups or clubs that you are interested in. The common interest (bikes and skiing for me) breaks that initial tension you have meeting new people.
tricky - Sun Sep 19 8:22:33 1999

I get huge crushes on guys i know i can never dream of having (ok i can dream but can't have in real life) my latest and I don't tell my friends because my taste in men is so different to theirs and well anyway it's the guy from the uncle tobys vita brits advert the farmer talking about having it for breakfast , oh my god i would love it for breakfast. It may sound a bit funny and probably is but i ache for this man and have done so for others i go out but can't find substitues and when i see someone who may fit the fantasy it doesn't work, normally on the gay scene its all about trend, looking cool etc when all i want is mr average it is really frustrating anyone else out there know how i feel, will i grow out of this i'm 24, does anyone know how to contact the vita brits man, heeeeelp
why me. - Tue Sep 21 23:58:24 1999

Why me - As you said, these men are fantasies. What are you looking for in the men you meet? To act out a fantasy, to have a quick bonk, or to have a relationship? If it is to act out the fantasy, then you will probably have to organise this beforehand, or at least discuss it with someone you meet. If it is one of the other 2, then finding someone to fulfill a fantasy is unlikely to happen. We imagine ideal men, but they always are different in some way. Enjoy the present, don't hang out for the fantasy. Also, if you find them men on the "scene" not your type, try another bar or the personals or a sauna or anywhere else. Fantasies can come true, but you never know when.
Panther - Wed Sep 22 8:52:02 1999

Why me I struggled with that sort of thing for 14 years. Although Panther is right don't beat up on yourself for feeling that way. The thing I have learnt over the past few weeks is to accept such feelings as normal and if I go out looking for a subsititute I stop and think "Well ok I'm disappointed but hey I tried and my heart may be not good but I am not such a bad person for feeling that way." Hang in there why me because I was and perhaps still am a why me but why? Well the why is because we are built in to love and need love. Its just all the things that get in the way. Good luck why me.
Mike - Wed Sep 22 19:13:06 1999

thanks panther and mike, i'll try but he is so hot anyway, i have place a couple of ads so wish me luck.
wm - Thu Sep 23 23:40:43 1999

Just crusing by and saw your posting. Good luck wm.
Mike - Fri Sep 24 9:12:15 1999

Our flight of love is over. We tried to hold onto each other tightly as the ever turbulent and destructive cyclone P. swept around our craft and beckoned you with the alluring thunder and lightening of shallow codependent, incestuous and destructive pseudo love. You lost faith and gave in to the storm willingly as it ripped at our fragile fuselage of closeness and tore it apart. I watched helplessly as you were silently sucked into that incestuous and dark void of the scene. I return to the terminal of loneliness waiting for another journey on a flight of love. But thinking of you and mourning your loss to that storm is hard.
Flight of lost love. - Sat Sep 25 11:22:38 1999

Hang in there flight. Beautiful verse, true but there is a beyond. Good luck.
Mike - Sat Sep 25 14:56:05 1999

Flight of lost love has to be responsible for his own actions instead of putting the blame onto others. Control was a power to you that you wanted to fight for and there was no need, example grabbing the phone. I will never lose faith in us, but reality says that in a different time it would have worked. Your boyfriend will always have a place in his heart for you and will always love you. He wants you to be content in the fact that there is one person in this world who will always love you unconditionally, that is what you have perhaps not experienced before
cessna177 - Sun Sep 26 2:35:21 1999

Flight of Lost Love - It's kind of nice to hear of somebody who doesn't think that the end of a love affair is either the end of love all together or an indictment of all gay men.

It truly takes courage to be willing to take another flight of love after experiencing such turbulence.
angelboy - Mon Sep 27 11:19:35 1999

Why the assumption that Flight of lost love is male? I figured otherwise.
Mon Sep 27 13:51:38 1999

Probably because, when anything is written without a gender I had to relate it to something - since I am male my comment reflected my perspective. I wasn't analysing the poem from a neutral non-gendered perspective - I was taking those words and applying them to my situation.

I'll raise you one - what as pect of the poem makes you figure that Flight of Lost Love's gender is other than male? ;)
angelboy - Mon Sep 27 16:18:53 1999

it was that word - codependent
Mon Sep 27 21:19:12 1999

Here I sit again, waiting, waiting, waiting in the transit lounge of loneliness. Will I be here for the rest of my life? Seems like it. Other passengers sit around too, thinking the same thoughts, all nervous fliers also. I look at the Pinkboard, flight MR016xxx is now boarding. There is no destination on the board, who knows where this flight will take me this time. Probably another round trip I think to myself as I board the flight. I fasten my seatbelt, there is movement and I can feel the tension in the craft as the engines roar and again I am hurtling down the runway and into the sky and off on yet another journey. Drinks are served and a meal is passed out. I talk to my fellow passenger next to me and we try to act relaxed, but deep down we are both shit scared of where this flight will take us. The Captains voice booms out over the intercom "Hello all, this is Captain Destiny speaking and welcome aboard. Unfortunately we are probably going to encounter some turbulence on this trip and I request that your seatbelts remain fastened". The storm looms on the horizon, cyclone xxxxx is intensifying and the towering clouds that I see out the window look impassable. The craft lurches and rocks, I am worried. Captain Destiny again comes back on the intercom "I'm sorry folks" he says, "looks like we are going to have to turn back". The turbulence is intense and I feel that I will never get to where I want to go. I am frightened and feel doomed. There is a shudder and I think that this is it, we're going to crash. Then a hand meets mine, and grips tightly. I look at my fellow passenger next to me and we both smile and gaze at each other. Suddenly the engines whine loudly and we are climbing. We climb up over the storm and pass it way below. We are cruising the airways of fate at long last. My fellow passenger and I continue our gazing into each others eyes, we feel drawn closer and closer together and then our lips meet. Our stomachs lurch as suddenly our craft accelerates beyond the speed of reality. We are still climbing, higher and higher, how can this be? The sky goes dark outside, it is not night, we are in orbit. Stars shimmer and shine all around us and the universe glistens before us as we continue to hurtle from a world all too familliar to us. As we zoom into another dimension Captain Destinys voice echos again over the intercom "Well folks, we seem to have passed the worst of that and you can all let your seatbelts go if you wish now and enjoy the flight. Our flying time will be approximately a lifetime and despite a little clear air turbulence I think we should have a smooth journey". Suddenly I realise that we finally have a destination. I find myself in my partners arms and we both glow with warmth, care and mutual respect. Our flight is a long one, but we have already arrived at our destination. That place is called Love. I love you John, Norman. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Norman - Tue Nov 17 9:48:09 1998
from Love 4 - Mon Sep 27 22:01:51 1999

I love you Norman
John - Tue Sep 28 0:46:06 1999

How hard it is to trust, to reach out, to brake the manacles of loneliness. How much harder is it when you don't 'conform' to the 'ideal' shape, age or 'type'. When we are young often we suffer from such shallow perception (sometimes when old too), that relationships are only physical, that everyone's ideal is finding that near impossible 'ideal' union of personality, body and spirit. Why, I suffer from this too. Why? Maybe its advertising? Maybe its low self esteem...am I...are you looking for the 'impossible dream' and so being blind to the true soul mate who stands before you?
solo - Tue Sep 28 17:32:06 1999

I agree, solo. It's very hard when people you love reject you because you don't fit in with the scenario they've built up in their head. I don't know if these people are worth chasing in the end (though, strangely, I find myself in the situation where I am). It's a kind of confusing situation and I'm not entirely sure how one gets out of it. I'm hoping that my present strategy of living with the love for this person and still trying to remain open to other opportunities will bear fruit.

Live in Hope...
angelboy - Wed Sep 29 12:23:55 1999

I am so touched by many of the comments on this page - this is my first browse of this page. To BND (near the beginning of the page) - I can relate to what you have gone through with your bf leaving and heading off o/s. I have been through a similar situation about 5 months ago with my bf moving o/s. We ended up parting shortly after unfortunately and now I have moved on, albeit still single. However I am happy with my life and have kept myself busy. I realised that my ex was not really for me on reflection of what we went through. In some ways his move o/s made the separation a lot easier. And a previous ex of mine told me that I should be happy about the way things turned out since I have the best ex situation there is, because he is living o/s and out of my way. To date I have made my decision not to keep in touch with him - the hurt was just too great. My heart has recovered and I am now moving on again. I've stopped looking for a partner because I know I will meet him when I least expect it.
Happy and Single - Wed Sep 29 22:15:52 1999

Norman and John - yuk!!!
Daniel - Tue Oct 5 23:13:00 1999

Good luck with trying to reach your maturity Daniel
John - Wed Oct 6 2:00:47 1999

There's no one i would rather spend the rest of my life with than you. i love you so much, seeing you lying beside me in the morning is something i wouldn't give up for the world. xxooooooxxx tubbie
Wed Oct 6 8:10:36 1999

True love? It turns you to jelly, it makes you want to write seemingly meaningless verse, it turns your life into a soap opera, it hurts you and it makes others who are romantically challenged look at you like a laughing stock. It makes you actually listen to,understand and relate to those love songs they play on the radio! It's a drug also that brings you up and then makes you crash. But it's a wonderful experience all the same and worth everybit of mayhem to be with the one I love. I am so glad I have been touched by that angel of love in my life.
Norman. - Wed Oct 6 9:46:42 1999

Norman where the hell have you been, i have obviously been posting to the wrong wall. That thing about the airplane was a very good metaphoric piece. I am 34 and I had assumed that the teenage immature crushes where over. No says life here's another one for you. At first this time I said oh f*** not another unrequited, unavalible falling for the wrong guy Bull again here we go. But I have decided to change my attitude towards the whole thing. It is not so vital to have this person's love and physical affection. Its nice but it is not the be all and end all. But to Chris; I love you unconditionally, you are a good soul a fine person and I thank the lord that you were brought into my life because you taught me what unconditional love is. I thank you for the experience and teaching you gave me and I thank every poster on Pinkboard good and bad for sharing your thoughts with me.
Mike - Sun Oct 10 11:21:26 1999

Hi, I was wondering if anyone could answer this for me. I have read many of the postings on this and the other wall. The thing that keeps coming up is don't blame yourself for falling in love with someone regardless if its wrong or right. But I am having this problem. I have a or rather it seems had a crush on this guy. Last night he rang me and I blurted out not that I love him but just that I liked him. He reacted by laughing and telling me to go to bed like it was like no big deal. But this is the problem. I feel so humilated and confused by my carry on. The sense of embarrassement is at the level where I wish I was on Mars. Being friends with this guy is important but I am not expecting anything but what I feel is not greif or sadness but a sheer sense of oh my god what have I done. Today he was not at my meeting and I felt ok about that, I like him a lot but I don't mind how this turns out but I am just so embarrassed at carrying on like a 13 year old school boy with a crush. I want to hide or dig a hole and go lie in it. I am not concerned about the outcome I know someday we will be at least mates if more that is a dream come true but what is important now is how to get over the making a dickhead of myself. Last August he was sitting at a cafe and something told me he is nice go and say hello and I did and then he gave me his phone number and he have talked and spent time together. This was enough for me but I started having dreams about him and then I took out all these books on self love. I then found this website and noticed the postings on these subjects. But please if anyone can tell me how to get over this or deal with this period hopefully without losing the friendship of this guy I would be so happy. I need to get my self respect back I know what I did was not wrong as such, to love someone, but I just want to be with him in any capacity but also look at myself in the mirror and say I am not a moron, idoit loser who will never get love.
Want to Hide - Mon Oct 11 16:08:44 1999

Your ok no matter what happens mate.
H - Tue Oct 12 9:55:16 1999

It's a pretty tough situation you're in. Tell him that you're interested. If he's interested then you're in with a shot. If he's not then try to avoid being his 'friend'. Being his friend but wanting more can carry on for so long and is ultimately bad for your self-esteem. Being around somebody for whom you have unrequited feelings for locks out the possibility of finding somebody who may be Mr Right. If he's the best friend in the world you'll just want more from him and if he's an a**hole then you'll feel bad about feeling strongly for him. It's not very comfortable either way.
angelboy - Tue Oct 12 10:39:12 1999

Little P, You've made me the happiest Ruski Bear on earth. I want the world to know.
Hunk of burnin' love - Tue Oct 12 23:28:15 1999

It is comforting to see, from reading this wall, that some gay men still believe in obtaining the elusive state of love! I experienced it once, and came close a second time. But the more you look for it, the less you are likely to find it. One thing I find most concerning, about being young, gay, and single in Inner-Sydney, is the emphasis so many people around my age place on drugs, open-relationships, and the "scene" mentality. Countless times I have encountered rejection based on my attitudes and values surrounding these topics. Why is it so difficult to find a balance in Sydney? There is such an "all or nothing" mentality around. If you don't join in and be a part of it like everyone else then you have a problem, but then when you do it, and do it too much, you also have a problem. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I too, believe in that elusive state of true love, but I no longer look for it. I will find happiness, because I deserve to. What are your thoughts?
E22-gay.com - Wed Oct 13 6:16:56 1999

Angelboy I am sorry but I don't agree. I value your advice but I will not avoid being his friend. I am willing to take the consequences of this. If he goes out with someone else thats too bad. I have let go, if it happens it happens if it does not well move on. I think I just took everything so seriously so its time to sit back and relax a bit. I still value what you said but I am not going to give up being his friend but believe me I am honest when I say I let go of him and move on. You can have both: if not well I will take the price and learn. Thanks angel.
H - Wed Oct 13 9:54:35 1999

E22; I wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts about the scene. I am deeply in love with my boyfriend but he is a bit of a scene queen (I am not) and his involvement there has put much strain on our relationship. He keeps saying that I have to trust him and then goes out quite frequently (due to work commitments and other hassles etc I am unable to do that with him....why can't we have some scene venues that rave "early" for us working class and "day" people??) into that environment. Many of the people he is involved with on his exploits have attempted in the past (and still do) to create damage with our relationship so it makes it very difficult to feel comfortable about him doing these things. My experience and opinions are that the scene is for single people or those in "open relationships" and does not cater to persons in 1:1 relationships or assist in maintaining stability there. I know of very few people in such relationships who are frequently involved in the scene, let alone couples who do the scene apart and still stay in a 1:1 situation with their other half. My BF says "trust me" and I do but that doesn't make me feel any less easier about it. Much of the scene is destructive in many respects (not only to relationships but wrt drugs, alcohol, promiscuity etc.....god, I sound like some puritan....I'm not really!). I get made to feel like some freak or leper because I don't really enjoy sitting (most of the time) in hot,crowded gay venues at 2:00am self destructing. When people say they are "over the scene" or they "won't find what they are looking for" on the scene (a stable relationship usually) etc etc, I now know what they mean. I hope you do find what you are looking for E22 and I hope that when he comes along, you are both very happy together and want do things together also both on and off the scene. It is all a question of balance. By the way, Melbourne is no different there!
"Burnt" by the "scene" - Wed Oct 13 9:55:14 1999

And then we fall into those eyes...
Wed Oct 13 20:54:24 1999

hi....felt like writing ive recently ended my relationship...was painful... i did it to find hetrosexual relationship i know in the future it will be the write decision
kate - Thu Oct 14 1:42:24 1999

Kate - either you are unsure about what you are doing and want someone to convince you that you are wrong, or you are trying to convince others that your path of action is the right one. Otherwise why have you written an ad here?
Panther - Thu Oct 14 9:13:55 1999

oh dear Kate. Darling you can run but you can't hide. Be strong girl - you can do it- be true to youreself.
Thu Oct 14 19:29:17 1999

Kate. Don't turn to heterosexuality. It makes you lose your ability to spell
Thu Oct 14 23:38:44 1999

Kate, my above comment, I was just kidding. I just wanted to make the situation lighter for you because I did the same thing and lasted a week. Don't be afraid to be anything you want. Don't conform to anything that you think others believe in. Come and play with us and you can find lots of friends who will love you for doing what you want to do.
Syphon - Thu Oct 14 23:43:22 1999

Kate, you are obviously trying a few things out and searching for what's 'right'. Do what feels right to you - straight or gay it doesn't matter! Be happy in yourself and you will be well equipped to deal with whatever obstacles present themselves. The above comment is right: be true to yourself first and foremost, not to please other people. Remember, you can only please some people some of the time - whatever you do.
nik - Fri Oct 15 7:58:02 1999

Yes, yes, yes Norman - it's amazing how suddenly the lyrics to songs all make sense! At home last Sunday morning with a lovely boy I've just recently met, I played "Giving It Up" - a song I hadn't played in a couple of years & apart from being a really cool sound the lyrics suddenly made sense. When I played the song again later I got to hear more of the lyrics & I was overwhelmed by them. It was like someone drawing back the curtains in a dark room to reveal the stunning day of sunshine outside - a blindingly uplifting revelation! Below is the first verse & chorus. They're better with the cool soundtrack but you'll get the impact even without it, I'm sure... Taking time to say goodbye to my sadness, Now I know I�m free. You took my hand & led me out of the darkness, To help me find a brand new me, baby. �though all the world around me criticised, The love you gave was never compromised. I never heard you say through all of this madness - �Maybe. Maybe.� There�s no denying I feel the same way too... Baby I would die for you, yeah. I would. With you I know I�m in a place That darkness cannot touch..... Giving it up. Giving it up. Giving it all up to a feeling. Giving it up. Giving it up. Babe I know you�ve got that something!
Now I Know. - Fri Oct 15 14:47:08 1999

Kate stay true to it girl!!!! and yes come out and play. I am a young lesbian and it was tough to start off with thinking about the marraige and babies and all that is "expected" but I know what I want and I will have that with a woman!! And love it!! Remember too if you go in to a Hetro relationship to "Make it right" you are not only being unfair to your self but also the boy involved!!
Another newly single lesbian - Fri Oct 15 18:27:40 1999

I have been in a five year relationship with the most wonderful girl and now I am attracted to a very strong woman. Stupidly, I keep thinking about this woman even though the problems I have with my girlfriend are resolvable. The answer writes itself, but my heart is having a coup de ta with my head.
Sun Oct 17 1:46:38 1999

5 years - My partner and I have had one or two little flings on the side during our relationship. We are almost up to 7 years. We are still together. We have always had an open relationship which makes these dalliances easier. We also live with each other, so the flings were stolen moments. "If you love them, let them go. If they return then they are yours." Find a sympathetic friend and have a chat with her about these issues and see if you can work something out.
Sun Oct 17 13:22:15 1999

this goes out to the ones who are looking to find mr right on the net.they go crazy when you leave them and tell lies lies lies.the one im talking about has posted and told people that i m on drugs and staying throughout au stealing from people.people are buying this crap.i think he really believes this crap himself.if you want to find mr. right you need to get away from the computer and get out into reality.mr right is probably already in your life but the lure of the net and of your fantasy coming true has gotten in your way.to all those still searching.....you ll find what you are looking for on the net but beware of the hidden package.
john w - Mon Oct 18 7:34:29 1999

Dear John Boy from adelaide, still loving you madly despite time, distance,everything...Adrian
Thu Oct 21 2:11:01 1999

I need some advice.

I've met a very nice man, who I find very attractive and really want to get to know better. I kind of think he feels the same way but I'm not sure that I'm reading his signals properly.

Now here's the real problem. We've talked about sexual things in general and he's knows that I'm totally dominant in bed (and he seems to like that). The only problem is that although I'm dominant in bed that isn't the case when it comes to relationships. I really want to get to know this guy better but I'm literally terrified of asking him out (I've never been in relationship before).

I've tried dropping hints to him (I'm not sure how successfully though) but I think that he is just expecting me to make the first move. What do I do? We keep on skirting around the subject all the time almost everytime we speak. It is so infuriating and then I begin to doubt whether he is interested or not. What if doesn't like me and I go and ask him out, then it'll be awkward for both of us because we kind of work together every now and then. Have I mentioned that he is good-looking and that he constantly has boys asking him out? What if he thinks that I'm only asking him out to sleep with him? I'm not. I like him for him. Any advice on what I can do to see if he is interested without embarassing myself?
j - Thu Oct 21 12:39:42 1999

J thats my problem with Chris I want to ask him out and am scared he will think I want to sleep with him. I can understand and I would also like to hear from others please because my thing with Chris is exactly the same. Whatever happens J I wish you the best and look forward to hearing from others on this.
Mike - Thu Oct 21 19:01:08 1999

Bite the bullet fellas, you never know if you don't have a go. You have X now and if he says no you'll still have X. What are you waiting for? Deep breath and go for it!!
Pod - Thu Oct 21 22:17:14 1999

J and Mike - As someone said to me recently (in a different context) sometimes a way to get courage is to write the thing down and then give it to them before your courage fails. Then you can't take it back and they will at least read it. We are all scared of being rejected, but sometimes we have to take a risk to get to the next level in this game of life.
Panther - Fri Oct 22 9:07:26 1999

Thanks Panther I tried that and it seems its working so I can't ask for more than that. J good luck if you read this.
Mike - Sun Oct 24 12:59:48 1999

Love can certainly be blind sometimes. I can't believe it - I met a wonderful, gentle, gorgeous guy and we both fell in love with one another. The only problem is, 12 months down the track, we just don't seem to have anything in common. When he's away I pine for his attention, and when he's here I can't wait for him to leave again. I don't know what to do. Are my expectations too high ? Should I not want a lover to also be a great friend, or should love alone be enough ? Oh God, the thought of ending this relationship makes my heart ache, but at the same time if we continue the relationship I think we will both end up hating one another.
ConfusedBoy27 - Sun Oct 24 14:01:34 1999

Thanks for your comment Angelboy,(Wed. Sept 29), it was sweet and made me feel appreciated and understood in this indifferent world.May we both find our soul mate soon.
solo - Mon Oct 25 22:26:11 1999

ConfusedBoy27 - I suggest that you seriously try to work out whether this relationship is right for you. A good exercise to start with is to get a piece of paper and draw a line down the centre. On one side put down why you should stay together and on the other side put down why you should break up. Don't add up how many you have written down, but just try to see if the good outweghs the bad. Something else to try would be to write down what you want out of a relationship and see how much you are getting out of this one. If the results of these exercises aren't clear, then find someone you can talk to about it.
Panther - Mon Oct 25 22:37:06 1999

It all comes down to balance.
onyaPanther - Wed Oct 27 20:35:56 1999

Norman I have the most beautiful person in you. I was so touched by the verse that you sent to me. To anyone looking for a husband I just have to say that no one will ever measure up to the caring and beautiful person that I am glad to call my own. I will never let him go.
love you always JOHN - Thu Oct 28 23:20:52 1999

John and Norman restore my faith in people in that we do have the ability to love, trust, honour and cherish another human being. Being of the same sex makes it all that more special.
Best of luck to John and Norman -
one day I might find me a wife!
MsGuided - Fri Oct 29 12:30:14 1999

All I want to say after the two months of should I tell me or not is that last night my dream came through. It is not so much the future of what I want: more that I found another human being to care and love unconditioanllay and above all I found a way to love myself. What I have is beyond a need for a relationship: its just loving someone for who they are and not worrying about the outcome. That for me surpasses any of my dreams. Thank you all. Than you for letting me write this.
Loving is more than in love for me anyway - Fri Oct 29 15:55:46 1999

Adrian I will remember our short time together forever. With unconditional love I watch you leave me and wish you well on the journey of life knowing that you are not ready for what we had. I am still numb knowing that I will never again look into your blue eyes or hold you gently in my arms. No more will we wake to each others slow breaths or gently touch. I only hope that you will forever be surrounded by goodness, safety, and true Love. Gary.
Sun Oct 31 0:05:34 1999