peter_sk8@one.net.au - Fri Jan 14 17:22:50 2000
mctpaul@hotmail.com - I don't know if this will help, but you are not alone, there are many of us like you, that are attracted to men and women. And as panther has said, please get some help.
bisexual and proud! (well now, anyway) - Fri Jan 14 22:04:41 2000
Mark, don't worry. Hope you've found a good councellor, but as 'bisexual and proud' said there are many of us attracted to both sexes. It is confusing and I've found myself thinking that I can just cover up the fact that I like women and stick with men, but I know this can't go on forever. I accepted my attraction to women from the start, but because of verbal abuse at school I am a little wary of telling new people. Half the battle, however is accepting yourself for who you are. Never listen to homophobia. In my eyes bisexuality and homosexuality, are the most natural things in the world, there are no barriers to attraction. I also know what depression feels like and believe me it does not last forever, and when you've overcome it you will be a stronger person. Just don't deny how you really feel. I hope reading this has helped a little bit but please do not dispair.
Beck - Sat Jan 15 2:41:00 2000
Seem to be one of the lucky ones choosing to just be myself. I am a femme lesbian. This was decided in 1997, though I did have contact with the occasional gay person in years long gone by. What I found about myself is that I am myself as experienced, and in touch with the world, not apart from it. My family only consists of two parents. Both parents want me to do the best I can in this world, and if I find someone to have a relationship with, the person had best not be a "no-hoper" or a "bum"! What I get from family is that if the person is worthwhile, then I hopefully have made a wholesome choice. Ideally, I should be married to a male as society at large demands, but if I find a person otherwise to have a relationship with, then my parents guess this must be a decent sort of person. What I have found so far is that although I did acknowledge to elect to be lesbian, I am not able to be fully "out" if I am not able to be meeting people to visit me at home (vice-versa), go out to do things etc., let alone have any body contact options made available to me as a relationship in the future. How does one be lesbian/gay if no-one from Brothersister adverts goes to make an effort to make even friends with someone doing a coming out process? What is the good of saying I am lesbian, if those lesbians who have done this can't even make friends, let alone set about thinking of perhaps considering a relationship? Why do people have adverts placed in the Brothersister or Pride, if nothing comes from this, except outcast people with problems that could best be sorted out with counselling, rather than worked out on others who advertise! Is it fairplay to abuse the person who places an advert wishing to meet others by trying to work off your development on that person who is learning in almost a trusting childlike fashion to try to make lesbian/gay friends and just how to date people? I would not do this to anyone - so cheap. I have respect for myself firstly, and secondly for others, but am yet to find anyone who can be openly able to just strike up a friendship with me. I am an easygoing female, no baggage to date, and outgoing. Now I just wonder about the females I have seen about in our world who look clearly lesbian, and wonder why I made an acknowledgement that I too am inclined this way but have not anyone to be company with who has also made this choice to live life as who they find they actually appear to be. Have also put several adverts on the pinkboard, but just found that I get e-mails into the inbox and no further. Is the internet just a toy for females to waste both their time and money using? Where are the genuine females in the world who can actually realise that trying to make friends etc. means meeting that person at some time, even if it is then acknowledged that no compatibility can be achieved? Like to get some answers to just why saying that I am lesbian means coming out, because if no other lesbian makes time to have me in their company, and wants to get to know me, not just stomp around making themselves get by in life, then how can there be such a thing as coming out! Just how to lesbian females get to know others? I think this is a fair question. It seems to me that Australia is not at all friendly a place, let alone Brisbane, and I am an Australian (caucasion). There are so many good things to do and share in life, but why is it that no females have come forward with open genuine friendly gestures to date, just people who act childishly using up internet time and others who respond to Brothersister adverts with no notion of actually really making time to strike up any kind of association/relationship. Age covers young to nearly 50years too!
Aylesha - Tue Jan 18 18:17:14 2000
Get out and about, join social clubs and stuff. There are ones for older women. Just check the listing in the gay press
mel - Thu Jan 20 9:56:08 2000
Sometimes I get frustrated by the anti-family comments that we often see in the gay press. I realise that not all families are accepting of gay relatives, and that those rejected by thier families must feel intense anguish and pain. I want to share my positive coming out story in the hope that others can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I was twenty-one when I told my mum I was gay, she hugged me told me she loved me and went to bed for two days.....my dad just laughed and said he thought so. From that time on my parents took an interest in my life in the same way they were interested in my brothers and sister's life. I have had a partner for the last 6 years, and my family accept him as one of us. In fact when we had a tiff a few years ago it was my parents who got us back together!!!! My family and his family share Christmas together each year. My parents/parents in law go out together when they are both in town. So it can be happy families for gay men. Stay Happy.
Andrew - Thu Jan 20 15:13:25 2000
Yeah, I agree with Andrew.....my mum and dad said the same "we love you no matter what" that they say to everything (exam marks, body piercings etc). My mum said that she would bash up anyone who called me names! (Thanks but no thanks mum). In fact, my best friend's mum, who found out through the grapevine, gave me a purple tellytubby (whatver that purse-carrying gay one is called) keyring the other day which I thought was a really nice symbol of acceptance. I know that not all people are as accepting but I thought it might be nice to share a "good" coming out story.
E - Thu Jan 20 20:38:42 2000
E - his name is Tinky Winky
:)Kim - Fri Jan 21 17:04:05 2000
Well, well, well, here I am. I am 31 years of age, and I have been in denial for too long. Finally I have started to 'seriously' think about coming out. I have tried to kid myself for years, and have used all the excuses, "I'm not gay...Maybe bi...What will my family and friends think of me?...Will they hate me?...What about fellow workers?...etc...etc...etc". I guess (Iknow!) I need support of some kind, but where do I go from here. At the moment I am 'stuck' in this rural (North/Central Victorian) environment, I am financially stuffed (broke), so if things don't work out I feel that I will have no chance of escaping. I am even too worried about being 'found out' to attach my e-mail address to this board, in the hope of receiving some personal advice. I know that I should approach a counselling service...but where? I feel that I am just about 'done in'. Any advice from you guys and girls, even someone in my own situation/location, would be appreaciated...greatly, as I'm sure you will understand.
gutless but trying - Sat Jan 22 0:38:10 2000
gutless but trying - I am fairly sure Melbourne Switchboard has a 1800 number (free call or local phone charge). If you are concerned about using this from a home phone then use a public phone. The Gay and Lesbian Counselling Services are ther to talk to. Writing on this wall can help a bit, but actually talking with someone can help more. Also, there are now plenty of web email addresses like freemail.com.au so that you can be totally anonymous in your email.
Panther - Sat Jan 22 10:27:59 2000
I haven't been here for a while...just saying I've accepted me and have told a friend that I'm BI...preparing to tell my mum!!! Keep your chin up people, it'll be OK!! :)
PurpleAngel - Tue Jan 25 22:39:36 2000
To GaryG, Just because you've battled yourself against feelings for men all your life, does not mean they are the dominant ones although they may be?)....What about when you have feelings towards your wife (which I assume include sex) are they then the the dominant ones / how do you feel when you are with her - is it pleasurable or a task - what is in the foremost of your mind - and if you left her would you want sex with women and "cheat" on your man ??? Only you know the answer to this...God made both Men and Women beautiful (but most people, especially the ruling men in this world would deny such a thing for many unworldly [perhaps spiritual blind] reasons); For the truly free and in love individual it just depends upon which one "tickles your fancy" the best but moreso where you feel more comfortable - and in fact where you feel more comfortable may indeed be your compromise (answer) that Panther so succinctly suggests....Shame we only get two choices, unlike icecream which everybody is less demanding that you make a choice and cares less - you never hear "oh there's that choclate icecream lover" do you!!! - ha! I've never understood the vested interest mankind has had in another's sexuality - but it seems to come from man made guilt religions... ...I myself do believe in God, but not your common garden variety type...I have a story to tell you which is true as told by a married man and a woman (his wife). Ever since they met they could not understand why they both had this burning love for each other...through their souls awareness, they both discovered that they existed in another time together as lesbian couple, and during those times (I forget their exact words) but they said somehow that they had to keep their love for each other apart and in secret due to the society in which they were in. Now together again, they are happy...Obviously the premise is reincarnation/eternal life...whether you believe them or not, you have to give them credit for the vote of confidence to gays and lesbians, and from my understanding they are not people who are generally associated or mix with the g&l community....I reckon they they should have "returned" as homo's - it's much more exciting to my mind - ha !!! Should your find that you prefer the compnay of men, you should not be alarmed at all about being 53 - There are many many men who would marry you again and make house and home with you (I feel you may not be aware of this because you have had only certain kinds of exposure or experience with other men (perhaps???), due to your obvious and admirable dedication to your family, albeit confusing to you)...Why fear finding a replacement husband - gay society is not that hostile, except for the fickle minority. There are all types within a gay society...You need only be yourself...I for one would know as my partner is 54 - not "world standard" by some other peoples classifications or ideals of beauty - but I reckon he's the hunk to end all hunks - we have a normal life together with normal ups and downs and we love each other. I say none of all this to confuse you more, but to have you realise how we all seem to sit on some type of scale about the pleasures of the company we seek - some are very gay, some honestly half way, and some very straight and many many more in between - How single minded we can be - you don't have to be a something - sometimes the gay community can demand that of its members too unfortunately. In fact, just because I am sexually attracted to men (and thus labelled as gay - which is fine for the most part), I am also many many more things too. I myself AM dominantly attracted to men, but have had sexual relationships with women in the past which I am no longer interested in (presently). Unfortunately you have your wife and kids to consider, for which I empathise and support you with. My only suggestion is that if you do want to hold onto the marriage, then don't do it through guilt. Decide who you are first. I guess there are many interplays to consider, but should you find that you truly wish to keep up your love relationship with your wife and simultaneously enjoy sex with men, then all you can do is to put it out there to her again (as hard as that might be for both of you) with your best ever caring and sensitivity towards her...But be sure that is want you want - remember that she is woman of free choice too and it could be that inspite of her love for you, she might stray towards other men (or women)...You should be prepared that it might not work and she may reject you altogether (a test for both of your strength)...If it is all so important I think you should go to some therapy together and then you might know that you both gave it your best shot - whether you stay together or not - but that you did care for and love each other - and no one can ever take that away from you and you should be proud that indeed you have loved. Lastly, find a trusted friend that you can talk to or invest in some short term therapist or spiritual help. There may be many things going on in your life. Good luck in your life.
Peter - Wed Jan 26 2:35:28 2000
I have only recently been able to come out to my close friends about being gay. Although I know that I am doing the right thing for me and it is the right time (21 to be exact) I am worried about the reaction that I will recieve from my parents, not to say that I am anywhere close to telling them, yet. The problem is that they are both in their mid 60's, rather old school to say the least, and I know how my dad reacts when the Mardi Gras parade is advertised. I am afraid that I will shake the relationship that I have with them, as I love them very much. The other thing is that they live on the sunshine coast (QLD) and I am here in Sydney. Is anyone able to give some advice or tell of their own expiriences so that I can get the message across with the least amount of shock, the last thing I need at the moment is for my dad to have a coronary. PS I would also like to thank panther for this amazing site, I am finding a whole new world without having to subject myself to the shit that seems to attach itself to some of the gay venues around Sydney. Thanks for your time.
Mark78 - Fri Jan 28 23:31:44 2000
Mark78, try not to tell your parents until you are ready to, you have already told your friends and that's an amazing start, the relief you'll now experience by them knowing will make you a happier person, your parents will notice this in you and being parents, they will be delighted that you seem happier. I witheld telling my mum for the exact same reasons as you did, some of her comments about gays were pretty nasty. But when I did tell her and asked why she said such things, she said that she was trying to get a reaction out of me - any sort of reaction, it's not tbe easiest subject to start talking about I think you'll agree, but maybe, just maybe your dad's comments are an effort to get a reaction out of you. At the end of the day, they love you and only want you to be as happy as you can be. Have fun !!
hotincoogee@pinkboard.com.au - Sat Jan 29 13:58:40 2000
im 17 and still a virgin, um its hard to describe, i do get horny blah blah blah but i dont feel im ready for sex yet but like 17, if it goes any further ill die a virgin
dontwannabevirgin - Sat Feb 5 11:09:25 2000
Yes I finnaly told my pearent's and they support me, yes it feels good, it's now be about 2 months since i told them and i love being part of my family once more, because for 3 years i felt that i wasn't part of my family but a stranger, and now i can finally be me!, good luck to you all, and remember no matter what people say you are no diffrent, but equal (if not better) seeya!
Sat Feb 5 21:51:05 2000
This is a great site and it gives me confidence to finish the coming out process.Kids and all.Wonderfully supported by my man and with our joint commitment to support and love one another and see each through our various journeys .I look forward to the next 35-40 years with glee.Lots of fun,travel,hard work and giving to my community in an open and honest way.It's pages like this that make it possible .Thank-you.
binalong - Mon Feb 7 21:36:45 2000
Hi donwannabeavirgin;don't despair but how do you want to lose it?in your own time will be best in the long run I reckon.In meantime whats wrong with a good wank ? There are plenty of good sites with advice and it encourages you to be aware there's a lot of it about.,Don't feel guilty for God's sake.Enjoy your body and all its bits;experiment with different techniques,use massage oils (olive oil with a few drops of lavender oil makes a wonderful wanking lube) Someone will show up when the time is right for you to share this greatest of pleasures. Be proud of who you are and enjoy and dream up a book of fantasies for when it comes your way.
david - Mon Feb 7 21:51:45 2000
I know you all probably see alot of this, so please, if you're not too jaded, take the time to respond. I really need some advice. I'm a twenty-one year old guy in the US. I've had several girlfriends and sexual experiences with girls, none of them satisfying. My last relationship lasted about a year. it was awful. she cheated on me several times. Anyway, my problem is this: How do I know if I'm gay? Or Bisexual? I've been attracted to men since at least puberty, but I don't know how strong the attraction is. I try to perform all these stupid little tests on myself like watching guys in class and trying to figure out how turned on I'm getting. I've had two or three sexual encounters with boys. Last year, I got drunk with a friend and went down on him. That was supposed to be The Test. The one that would answer all my questions. It answered nothing. I still don't know. What I want to know is this: How do I know this isn't all just a reaction to a couple of bad experiences with women? Am I just another flaky loser? Has anyone else gone through an experience like this and come out the other side? where did you end up? Please respond. I just need some advice.
scorbutic - Wed Feb 9 20:30:04 2000
scorbutic - You are a person. You are yourself. Everything else doesn't really matter. They are only labels that help others describe you. If you enjoy men, do it. If you enjoy women, do it. Maybe you'll eventually decide that a label fits you. Maybe you can make up one that you prefer. If you want a rule: don't lie to yourself.
Panther - Wed Feb 9 21:25:48 2000
i love jarrod dickson
Fri Feb 11 22:12:39 2000
korn rule narelle84@hotmail.com if any body wants to write to me
n@relle withers - Fri Feb 11 22:14:49 2000
Hi - My name is Christine, 25, a kiwi trapped in oz and to put it mildly you could say im working on my 'issues' about me begin gay. Sometimes i am okay with it, other times i am not. I've just begun counselling, (for sexuality and grief) becos i know i need help to get my head around this, and to talk about it, and a million other things :) Ive 'half' come out (if that is that possible??heh heh) to my bro and two friends. I even went as far to admit to my best friend that i 'had' feelings for her at one point. she was flattered, nothings changed between us (thank god!) I knew she didnt feel the same, but i didnt wanna go thru my life wondering "what if?". I have made some good friends - one in particular back home in nz, on the internet who has been pretty helpful and supportive ('cept for the irritating fact that she always starts our chats with Got A Girlfriend Yet?? - she thinks shes being funny ... the funny thing is, she is being funny!!) but im waffling, where was i??? Oh yeah - so apart from doing a lot of reading, and looking back in hindsight of my life - im wanting to meet other lesbians, but it kinda scares the shit out of me too( pardon moi french) becos it really feels like such a big step. Someone told me there is a 'coming out' group in sydney that apparently meets every 2nd thurs. and they discuss sexuality etc. I'm kinda wanting to go, but i dont know if im prepared to talk about it with a group of strangers etc. I dont want to be in a position where everyone shares, but i dont, thus making others angry. if anyone has been to this group, could they perhaps tell me (via email) what 'happened' or what the expectations are of the group. It would be much appreciated. The only thing that annoys me, is the 'why am i so scared to meet other lesbians?" - maybe its homophobia on my part, or the fact that ive never had anyone close to me and therefore my barriers are pretty well in force and strength. But i'd be grateful if anyone could share their thoughts/experiences on that train of thought. you can contact me at harriet2088@yahoo.com - as im not sure if i will see this page again soon. adios all - be true to yourselves
cmk/harriet - Fri Feb 11 23:39:50 2000
Christine - Mardi Gras is a great time to get to meet others in all types of situations. Go to some of the free events like Fair Day or the concert at Green Park. To find out more about the Women's Coming Out Group phone the counselling service (02) 9207 2800.
Panther - Sat Feb 12 10:54:47 2000
I finally told my best friend that I am bi. I was so nervous about what she would say. I had to tell her because I felt like I was carrying a huge cross. I could tell her anything but I was not sure how she would react to this. She took it well, much better than I expected. She said that she still wanted to be my friend and didn't want our friendship to change. I could have done cartwheels, I was so relieved ! Our friendship went on as always. I am now trying to get up the courage to take the next big step - telling my parents. I have been trying to get an idea of their feelings about Lesbians & Bisexuals for at least the last 9 years. I am also unsure where to go next. I live in Melbourne, I am 24. I have no idea where to find a support group or how to go about meeting other females. Any suggestions/advice most welcome. E-mail me at amber_aust@hotmail.com
Amber - Sat Feb 12 16:38:55 2000
Unfortunately there aren't alot of people out in the world like me, but I want to say that gay people are the strongest that I have ever known. To have to go through all of the teasing and taunting because of something that you can't control, and something that isn't their bussiness anyway. I just want to say that you are special no matter what anyone may say, even the ones that you thought loved you and understood you. No matter what keep reaching for that star, and I love you all!
Audriene - Sun Feb 20 12:28:01 2000
Scorbutic!!!!Hi from the UK. I think I know what you're going through as my experience sounds like it might be similar. I've never enjoyed sleeping with a man and I think I've always known that I might be a lesbian. The sexual experience I had with my first and only girlfriend was earth shattering. I do say I'm bisexual as I do find myself attracted to men but never feel right when I'm in a relationship with one. I'm attracted to different people of both sexes, so I call myself bisexual even though being with a woman is the most enjoyable, but I think the reason why it felt so right with my girlfriend was that I felt that I really loved her and the physical attraction was so strong. It may feel like that with a man if I meet the right one. What I'd like to say to you is that perhaps waiting until you meet somebody you feel very strongly about is the best way to discover your sexuality. The only thing you should really be looking for is an enjoyable and comfortable sexual life, be that with men or women. You'll know when the right person comes along. I don't know how productive calculated tests when sleeping with a man or woman can be. You may be with 'a man' and feel nothing but that just means he may have been a bad choice. I usually go by this: if you don't feel remotely attracted to any women but do to men then you're gay, if you don't feel any attraction to any man but do to women then you're straight. If you feel attracted to some women and some men then you're bisexual, yet you may prefer to sleep with a man. But again, it all depends on which woman or which man. I do agree with Panther though, maybe trying to label yourself isn't really necessary, you are just a person, an individual just like everyone else. I hope you discover everything you need to and that this has made some sense to you.
Beck - Wed Feb 23 2:35:24 2000
Panther - thank you for your advice on going to the Gay and Lesbian Fair Day - I actually went, and by god - did i have a good time. It was so amazing being there - although i'll admit i was watching from a distance and a tad terrified to talk to anyone - but im really glad i went. So thank you again - although im not too sure what my next step could be. any advice??
christine - Thu Feb 24 11:43:27 2000
christine - I suggest that the next step is to get some courage and talk to someone. :-) I know this can be very very difficult and scary. An anonymous phone call to the Counselling Service is one way. Using a chat site like gay.com is another. There is no risk involved if you remain anonymous, but it might help you gain some confidence.
Panther - Thu Feb 24 21:10:01 2000
Social Justice, Religious Leaders and Homosexuality a sppech by Justice Michael Kirby
Screw the idea of coming out sweeties! Just tell everyone you're "bisexual" that way, you are not only politically correct and socially acceptable, but you get to do everyone and admit to nothing......the perfect crime!
poolooluen - Mon Feb 28 22:32:42 2000
I'm actually transsexual and didn't transition until last November. It was a harrowing time for me but fortunately I had some good support from another TS girl and good counseling services. It had taken me 6 months to transition from the time I had finally decided to do it. My greatest fear was the responses I thought I might receive and doubts that I could pass, I though it would be the end for me. I can't relate to what gay guys have gone through but have sometimes thought to myself that I wish I had been gay because it probably would have been easier to cope with but after reading some of these posts I see that this is not so and some people take things much harder than others. But I believe a situation is only as difficult as one makes it out to be. I think that some people look at the situation in a lighter perspective and hence are more capable to deal with the problem. To talk with someone else helps us to re-look at the problem in another perspective from our own single view. If the situation is so bad, seek help.
Minxy - Wed Mar 1 21:44:46 2000
I hate this time of year because MG just reinforces the stereotypes. If only all the media could read the sad stories on here (and some of the members of our own community that have lost touch with the rest of us too). They'd see we're not all drag queens, that it's not all parties for us. We continue to be neglected by schools, governments and families. Well I suppose I shouldn't expect anything more seeing as we don't even take care of ourselves. We don't show respect to ourselves so why should they.
Sat Mar 4 17:03:55 2000
Panther - me again - i swear, i'll try and knock it off and stop hogging this wall!! Went to the Mardi Gras last night and i had an 'effing ball!" went with someone who read a message i wrote on the pinkboard. she replied to my address and we've been mailing since. Got together last night and we had a great time. it was one thing to see it on tv last year but its a whole other ball game just simply being there. Im SO coming back next year!! and the year after, and the year after ... get me point?? did i mention i had a great time?? ok you lot stop laughin!!! i was just found myself having a shitload of respect for all those people who marched and the cops ... by god it was just so great to see them in the uniforms, course the people who were forced to run for the whole parade - i swear i could hear them think ..." I didnt sign up for this to have to run the whole way!!" but everyone just had a great time, the audience and the 'stars'. God bless you lot for being so proud of yourselves and making your presence felt. Im in awe of you, and hope, that one day, i'll have the courage and pride to join you all.
christine - Sun Mar 5 16:37:02 2000
well I am Bisexual and marriade to a woman and I dont think I like it now that Ive done it as I have no support I any one can talk to me please email me at hotmail my name is Angelweed I need to talk desperatley please help
Mon Mar 6 9:45:27 2000
I am a 20 y/o lesbian from Newcastle. I started questioning my sexuality a little over a year ago, during a disasterous relationship with a guy. Sometimes I am so proud of who I am, and other times I feel so lonely. I have accepted for the most part that I am who I am, but it doesn't make it any easier. Only 2 of my friends (a lesbian couple) know about me. Recently, I finally told one of them that I like her, and found out that she likes me too. Although I was scared about the feelings I have for her, it felt wonderful to know that someone really likes me for who I am. We have since started spending a lot more time together, not talking much, mostly holding each other, kissing a little. I feel very guilty about what we have been doing and how I feel about her, but at the same time I like her so much. I don't know if anything will become of "us". My friends current relationship (of 7 years) is very volatile, and she has told me she is unhappy. I know that this is no excuse for what we have been doing, but I care about her a great deal, and want her to be happy. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens, and go from there.
Spectre (xvghost@Phreaker.net) - Mon Mar 6 12:13:55 2000
Kyle's spam (post to multiple walls) has been deleted. Please see it here.
everyone in the community is invited to be a part of the parade. whose fault is it if the main participants wear boas, glitter etc.?? if you were to watch the parade you would see the diversity of the floats.
mel - Mon Mar 6 20:03:35 2000
mel - the point is that we already know that the media and all the spectators are only going to focus on the glitter. Shouldn't we be looking for a more appropriate way to be visible? Something that has a better chance of making sure that we gain acceptance from the mainstream community. I'm not saying that we should change who we are, only that we should be wiser in how project ourselves. MG the way it is wouldn't be a bad thing if we had other things that were also prominent in the mainstream community. But we don't. We only have this once a year event which is detrimental to the long-term health of our community.
Realist - Mon Mar 6 22:56:31 2000
Angelweed - Phone your local Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service. They are for bisexuals too.
Panther - Tue Mar 7 12:43:13 2000
Spectre - First, you can't take responsibility for what your friend is doing in her relationship. If she is risking it for you then that is her responsibility. Talk to her about it, but don't accept any guilt.
It also sounds as if you need to meet some other lesbians. Look for a social group, or contact your local Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service to find out about groups, or put an ad on Pinkboard.
Panther - Tue Mar 7 12:46:18 2000
Hi Pinkboard! I've been reading this for a while & have finally mustered up the guts to contribute. Like numerous others who have written, i've known i'm a lesbian since i was in my teens. Back in high-school, people used to suspect it, but i'd deny it, mainly to avoid being harrassed. From the sounds of it though, it seems like things have changed a little since then? Anyway, i ended up getting married, am now divorced, and at 32 years of age, i think i am so ready to come out. The thing is, i feel sooo old coming out so late in life, like i've missed the boat already (maintaining humour here!). I know they say people come out at all different ages, but it just seems that most people have already acted upon it before 30. I feel ashamed that it is taking me so long. I know about the GLCS, and the coming out groups which they have, i guess i'm embarassed of being an "oldie" and why is it taking me so damned long anyway? I've been to a few lesbian clubs etc., and am really finding it difficult to become part of that community. Just going up and talking to them makes me feel embarrassed because i am new to this at such a late stage in life. I guess these things take time, and i hope i become better at this one day. I'd love to go to the coming out group, i'm just trying to motivate myself to go and not be embarassed about it anymore.
Leah - Tue Mar 7 19:57:33 2000
Panther - thanks for the advice. I really don't have anyone to talk to, and I find it extremely hard to open up to anyone about how I feel. I'll keep an eye out for local groups, and thanks again. This is going to be one step into the unknown after another, isn't it? Ah, such is life :-)
Spectre - Tue Mar 7 23:34:15 2000
Leah, Phone up the Counselling Service and talk to them about the Coming Out Group. You may even be able to talk to one of the facilitators over the phone. You may be surprised at the mix of ages there.
Spectre, Often people find it easier to talk anonymously over the phone. And all the Counselling Services around Australia have 1800 freecall numbers (I think).
Panther - Wed Mar 8 17:04:02 2000
hi everyone, i always know that i was attracted to boys but never actually acted on it till i was 24, and i was a virgin up till then. i buried myself in studies and did well at school and uni, but somehow my life had a huge void. The thing that kept me sane was "i love myself". I think if you love yourself first, the time will come where your heart make peace with your own sexuality and it feels alright to be GAY. I feel good and proud of who i am now. Coming out was a big decision for me, and i am sure to most of you all out there, but, the thing that can make it easier is to talk and meet new friends, dont do it alone, go out , meet people, talk to people, take your time, dont rush, let everything gel together, dont force it onto your parents, they have their "coming to terms" time too !!! Panther - this is my first glance at the wall, good on you !!!! ozboy1999@hotmail.com
Sun Mar 12 9:26:41 2000
grrrr i just spent forever typing in a message here and it got rejected because of "shouting" ?? capital letters?? grrrrrrrrr, good one ya PB
Mon Mar 13 18:56:37 2000
hello all... my comming out experience wasnt all that.. first off, no one ever called me names, or bashed me, they never even knew about me till i told them. my last long relationship was for 2 years and i was soon to be married. yes to a female, but i realized that i wasnt happy. my first experience was when i was a freshman in high school. and then i had a couple after that. i dont really remember alot about comming out, i remember first i stated that i was bi, because i didnt want to be "gay" and in my mind i guess bi was just better. so i came out to my friends, and it was sooo cool, because it didnt even matter to any of them.. well one day i met my present boyfriend, and just fell in love at first sight.. after we were together for about 6 months, i decided to come out.. i just came out one at a time. my brother, my cousin, my aunt.. ext.. it was really hard. but i just told them i love you and i dont want to have to lie to you, if your going to be in my life, then your going to be in my life.. not just part of it.. and i said i love jeff and i want you to know that i am with him, i dont want to live a lie to you any longer. this is who i am.. and they all excepted me.. except my dad... i have yet to tell him... he is one of those butch guys.. and i know if i do tell him, things just wont ever be the same. he is so aginst homosexuality, and might even gay bash me.. i was going to tell him on christmas eve of 99, with my whole family there but the decided it wouldnt be good so i didnt.. i dont think ill ever be able to come out to him.. but when i do, i guess ill just have to hope for the best.. and maybe he will except me.. who knows, only time will tell
angelus - Tue Mar 14 7:04:13 2000
Sunday night - I think?? I heard a coming out show on Free Fm with people telling their stories etc - it was excellent..., are there any other shows or forums for this??
slowly coming out - Fri Mar 17 18:56:33 2000
OutFM had a few like that. Unfortunately both Free and Out won' t be on the air too much longer as they probably (unfortunately) not get a license. But there is always Gaywaves on 2SER FM that people could listen to. If I remember correctly they are on 107.30FM Thursdays at 8.00pm
Fri Mar 17 20:23:53 2000
Firstly, well done Pinkboard. Secondly, Guys Like Us is a support site for gay, bisexual and curious guys in rural Australia located at http://hello.to/glu We would love it if you would drop by, offer us feedback and link us to any sites where you think rural youth may frequent looking for support services. As the Coordinator I will be working with the Human Rights & Equal Opportunity Commission to improve services for rural Australian through the Outlink Project. Please email me your ideas. glu@hotmail.com Once again, well done Pinkboard and well done pink panther.
sean - Sat Mar 18 19:32:07 2000
Well, here goes..... I'm a 22 y.o. woman from Newcastle. And I think I'm gay (either that or bi). wow, that was surprisingly easy to say! To Spectre, don't rush things with your friend, it will happen if it is meant to. And you shouldn't feel bad about what the two of you are doing, trust me, you can't help it. Also, congrats on a great wall, it is great to hear other people's stories, good and bad. Keep up the good work. If anyone knows of a support/coming out group here in Newcastle, please tell me, I want to go to one soon. Thanx.
Happy - Mon Mar 20 2:04:03 2000
To LovlytxGRL (from April 1999), I just read your story, and would love to know the outcome (if there is one by now). I too had feelings fo my best friend (but only after we kissed!), she had a boyfirend (and is now married to him), but was more than eager to have fun!! Although we did not live happiy ever after, it was an experience that confirmed my suspicions....I'm gay! I would never change a thing, and am glad it happened. Love to hear from others in a simimlar siuation to mine (22 y.o. gay girl in newcastle). Cya.
Happy - Mon Mar 20 23:11:28 2000
I have to say this is definitely a great page pinkboard. Its good to be able to share experiences, and hopefully help out someone else (or help each other) in being able to share our experiences. I'm 25 yr old guy, and I've been coming out on the scene since I was around 21, but have leaned towards guys much longer than that. I was talking with a good friend before MG about myself wanting to come out, and infact finally told 2 other friends, but my friend suggested not to comeout till after MG, when I was ready, so as I wasn't making that decision while standing on the shoulders of Mardi Gras and all the hype built up around it. Well that decision has now been made for me. One unknown phonecall made on the night of the Mardi Gras Parade to my folks at home (where I currently live) has pretty much made that decision for me. Mum and Dad finally know due to ?????. I'm angry I couldn't have done it on my own time, but I'm relieved as well. Finally - no more misleading my parents. I haven't spoken with Dad on the topic, but we are talking to each other as normal - Thankyou!!! But Mum is the curious one, wanting to know details. When she first asked, after I came home from the "Party" I denied it, but then, I just decided, Yes Mum, I'm Gay. We're still talking. I'm so relieved now though. The next step is to tell my Bro and Sis. The hard part will be other friends, hence coming from a Christain family and Church upbringing, with Christian friends. But I'm really looking forward to sharing my whole life with them, not just part of it. I can finally say "I AM GAY", and now say it proudly. No regrets.
Richard - Tue Mar 21 3:06:39 2000
Hi there. I'm not sure if this is the right place to do this, but I am seeking others to talk to as I am trying to understand the whole homosexual/bisexual side of life. I am going through a coming out crisis of my own, it is my husbands. He told me three weeks a ago, and it has been a roller coaster ride since then. He has only come out to me and immediate family, we live in a small narrow minded community, and the fear is there should this get out. He told me about this site and I thought I would check it out as I am trying desperately to understand. I am 23 and 7 months pregnant and my husband is still my best friend, I think he always will be. I love him dearly and deeply respect him for telling me the truth, however devestating for me and traumatic for him, it took a lot of courage. I know that. My quest for knowledge comes as I still want to be a part of his life, so I need to know as much as I can. I am shocked at myself for being as accepting, don't get me wrong, the roller coaster is still moving, but I need to understand him. With the imminent arrival of our first child nearing, I am wondering if there are any others out there like me, who truly want to understand their partners, as I don't want to lose this wonderful man from my life, he is my best friend. He came out to me after meeting someone, and started an affair with him ( which is still hard to digest )it had only been going a week or two. He felt he had to tell me. If there is anyone out there who can identify with me, and is looking at this site to help comprehend what is happening in their life, let me know, you're not alone. I thought I was but have found great support outside of my family, it is out there. To those of you who are struggling whether or not to tell your straight partner, my advice is to be honest with yourself. Don't live a lie, your partner might suprise you and want to help you as I have. The longer you leave it the harder it gets. He or she will have many emotions to deal with, and it takes a long time to deal with the ping pong of emotions, probably years as I am discovering. But don't make them live a lie either, as that is how they will feel, and it hurts and scars and is devestating. If you know what you are and how you feel, be honest with them, they deserve that much. As much as I am in pain right now, I'm glad I know. It's time for me to build a new life for me and our baby, with my best friend right beside me. My partner will not be deprived of anything to do with this child, he is the father, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I look forward to sharing this child with him in every way that I can, I know he wants to be there. Well I hope this helps some and that some might help me to understand. Take care everyone...
Trying To Understand... - Tue Mar 21 10:09:28 2000
I'm not nearly ready to come out, I'm only beginning to accept that I am gay now. My problem is that I want to meet other girls in a relatively anonymous environment and I don't know how. I don't want to join social groups or anything. I would like to start reading some gay press and books and stuff. I can't even read the personals 'cause I don't want to give out details. I guess I'm scared. Can you help?
Tue Mar 21 13:19:36 2000
Dear Trying to understand, Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou! We need more people in the world like you. I try hard to understand how hard it is for you to try to begin to accept and understand what you and your partner have to go through. You see I am gay , but lived my life for 26years thinking that I was going to get married and have children. It did not work out that way. I fell in love with my best friend and realised that maybe I was gay.... My girlfriend at the time was ever so supportive. We would spend days (and nights) together crying over what 'could have been.' A few years have passed now and she is now one of my closest friends(even though she lives in QLD) and we will always love each other dearly - just not in the way we originally intended it to be. I wish you and your partner well in your lives and I commend you so much on your choices. Whatever choices you make I know will be right for you. My love to you and best wishes, Jason.
musicfound@hotmail.com - Tue Mar 21 19:37:17 2000
Richard - You know who I am am. Not sure if I have told you this but I actually found telling my sister was easier than my Mum. My sister and I have always been close and she already suspected - as did Mum. Im sure my father knows, I havent told him or spoken with him about it. Even though I now live out of home I havent found the right time to discuss it with him - maybe thats a cop out but....??? You know if you ever need to chat Im a phone call away
Tue Mar 21 22:55:10 2000
Hi people! I was listening to FreeFM's Breakout on Sunday night. It seems there is a group of people who want to start a dance party/night out for gay guys & gals that are under age. What does anyone think about it? I personally think it would be a great idea for people who are either out, or coming out. They could get together & have a great night out. Drop me a line, I'd like to hear from people who are interested in this.
auntyruby@auntyruby.zzn.com - Tue Mar 21 23:51:32 2000
I first visited this site about 18 months ago, and found it to be a great source of inspiration and support. There are plenty of testamonials to that affect above so I'll get the heart of what I wanted to say. Coming out is a funny concept in many ways, but I believe it is very a much a personal process which indviduals have to work through step by step and at a pace that they are comfortable with. I'm 29plus1 and am still working through the process myself....but I have found it does get easier if you just be yourself around the people you care about and who you know care about you regardless. I left my last job because it was incredibly homophobic and uncomfortable for me. While I was well respected by fellow staff and clients, I knew deep down that I was afraid and miserable. If I happen to find myself in a relationship while working there, things would have been extremely difficult to the point of affecting my work and also my job security. So I searched around and landed a pretty good job in the WA public service. (Just for the record, I *never* thought I would ever go back to the public service ever!) Anyway, from the outset, I was me to my new workmates. I didn't go the whole camp thing, but I didn't pretend to be straight (check out women while walking from the office to the lunch bar etc etc etc) either. After a while, one of my workmates, aged 21, indicated that he didn't have a problem with gay people and so over a few weeks I pretty much confirmed his original assumption. (Well he kinda guessed when I muttered "YUM!!" in the general direction of some sexy guy walking ahead of us!) Pretty standard stuff in many ways huh? Yeah, I thought so to until he "came out" to me ten days ago. *chuckle* It was probably the most bizarre coming out for me, in that, while I suspected it, all signs pointed towards "open minded straight boy." We aren't seeing each other, but it is nice to know you are not alone. The one thing I have learnt three months into my new job (and it feels like I have been there a lifetime) is that honesty is the best policy and sometimes there are a few pleasant surprises to go with it. It's great watching my workmate deal with the usual crap of coming out (family, friends, workmates) and just being there in a big brother role to help him through it. It isn't easy, and there are no real rules. Having a supportive network of friends around you is the most important thing. Your only obligation in life is to be yourself. Have a good week everyone! andy69@start.com.au
AndyinWestOz - Wed Mar 22 7:45:04 2000
To dear trying to understand - there is an organisation known as Gamma - Gay and married mens association, unfortunately I don't know their contact details - maybe someone on this board does. I have not have first hand experience with their services but the name suggests it may be able to give you and your husband some support. Goodluck, and your husband is lucky to have such an accepting spouse.
All the best - Wed Mar 22 20:55:30 2000
To "not ready to come out" from Mar 21 13:19:36. If you want to remain anonymour but sitll want to talk to others, try a gay and lesbian chat room. nonemsn have a reat one called RedRoom. People in there are very understanding sa most of them are gay / lesbian / or bi. I was nervous the first time I went to chat there (this was 3 weeks ago), but now I'm a local, everynight until late. If you want to chat, I'm there most nights, under my signed name below "happy", I'd be more than happy to chat to you. Also like to share some news with everyone .... I'm going to a support group tomorrow night. I figure that if I tell you all, then I can't chicken out!! I'll let you know how it goes! See you all soon. xxxxx
Happy - Thu Mar 23 1:10:35 2000
bugger! The chat room is in ninemsn, not nonemsn (amazing what one wrong letter will do) Bye
Happy - Thu Mar 23 1:11:37 2000
Have a look at Pinkboard's Community Listings for details of community groups.
Panther - Thu Mar 23 9:03:10 2000
Happy - thanks for your words of encouragement. I haven't read the board for a while, being very sidetracked with a very screwed up personal life. Maybe I'll catch you in that chat room sometime.
Spectre - Thu Mar 23 14:52:44 2000
Hi, I'm 22 y/o woman & am from Newcastle - and I definately am 'gay'! However, like so many other heart-felt stories, I too, am scared 'shitless' about coming out to my parents and the very few (2 in fact) people I already know. In response to Happy(also from Newcastle), I am in the same situation in which I know I'm gay but I don't know anyone who's gay and I have never experienced or being in a gay relationship ... so the worst part about it is - how do I assimilate into the gay community, when I've never been into the gay 'scene' of things in the first place? Unfortunely Newcastle is extremely 'tight' which makes it worst for a person like myself! Most of the people here are either already in relationships or have 'come out' during their teenage years in which they're very 'clicky' with eachother. However, I've recently heard that there is a Youth Sexuality Network that is set up for young gay people in Newcastle etc. Also, there is a radio program on 2NUR FM (103.7) called Gay Waves (thurs 10pm) which deals specifically with gay-related issues. Listening to this has allowed me to 'understand' what being gay really means & has helped me through the every day torture of wanting to scream out that I'm GAY - but then there's always the next day when I have to contend with the consequences! A lot of the times I wish I wasn't gay, because I think that life would be a lot easier - which is total bull! I guess I'm fearing what everyone else in this world fears - being alone, unhappy & not fulfiling or reaching my greatest potential in life because I was 'one of those' who decided that, hiding my sexual identity is better then people knowing who I really am. I honestly feel as though I'm wasting my youth because I'm not doing the things that I really enjoy because of the shame of people finding out that I'm gay. In the end, I know that my only true happiness and fulfilment in life will be when I can be in a gay relationship with another female. Being young, gay & always being looked upon as the 'intellingent one' in my family hasn't helped the issue of when should I come out? I guess like many parents, they think if their daughter's gay then they must 'fit' the stero-type of looking 'butch'. Well what makes it hard for me, is that I don't look butch or act so-called gay (whatever this means!)so a lot of the times I feel as though I don't fit in anywhere - both in the gay community & in the 'straight' community! I feel like I'm dumped in the middle - confused & feeling even more islolated & depressed. Anyway - this is the first time I've 'openly' broadcasted my sexuality over the net! So I guess I'm getting 'itchy' feet in terms of 'liberating' myself & wanting to come out! Who knows!! 'Happy'(from Newcastle) - it's a small world (especially in Newcastle), so maybe we might accidently run into eachother, but until then - best of luck with your own pursuit of eternal happiness!!
Shell - Fri Mar 24 1:41:53 2000
Shell - I would guess that you are ready to meet others, but haven't worked out the best way. There have been many ways mentioned on these pages. Another way is to go on holidays somewhere that you will meet people. Being in a totally new environment where you don't know anyone can be very liberating and allow you to explore all sorts of new things.
Being gay or lesbian isn't about conforming to a stereotype. There stereotypes are more common on the scene, but the variety of "types" is out there. In fact we are everywhere. Be yourself!
Panther - Fri Mar 24 9:06:11 2000
Shell - Hi. I'm from Newcastle too (20yo gay woman). Only 2 people know about me also. I've been out to a club once, but I'm not comfortable with that scene, so I spend most of my time alone. A lot of the stuff you wrote applies to me too - only you said it better then I ever could. I hope everything works out for you.
Spectre - Fri Mar 24 9:51:17 2000
why don't you newcastle girls start emailing each other. i know that i met a couple of people thru pinkboard as my launching pad onto the scene and i couldn't think of an easier way to do it. just do me a favour and meet in public first time ;-)
m - Fri Mar 24 20:00:34 2000
Hi Panther - It's Shell here. Just a quick note to say thanks for the advice about the 'perfect holiday' escape. Somehow my budget for this year is absolutely 'blown', so I guess 'hanging out' around travel agencies stores will be the only holiday 'highlight' that I'll be able to afford! By the way, lucky guess about me wanting to 'get out' there and meet other gay people - your're a sheer genius at mind reading! Bye.
Shell. - Fri Mar 24 23:36:01 2000
Shell, I went to the suppport group for gay women in Mewcastle for the first time last night (so anyone who was there will now know who "Happy" is!). I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, but I went through with it, and it is the best thing I have done for a long time. We talked for a couple of hours, then went to a pub (was known for being a gay pub), and it was great, I felt so relaxed, and for once could be myself. I would highly recommend it - maybe I could give you some moral support beforehand? Anyway, if you want to chat some more, you can find me in RedRoom, a gay and lesbian chat room, I'm there most nights (as "Happy") and would be more than happy (no pun intended) to talk to you there. Bye for now, hope we chat soon. the address for the caht is ninemsn, then find the right chat room. cya xx
Happy - Fri Mar 24 23:41:26 2000
thanx "M", if they want to see me in RedRoom, I'd be more than happy (again no pun intended!!) to talk with them, and then meet up, maybe all of us together. what do you think Shell and Spectra?
Happy - Fri Mar 24 23:43:16 2000
Hi - it's Shell again!! I know, I know I'm 'cramming' all of my replies in all at once!! (afraid the 'folks' might barge in). Anyway, in response to 'M' - thanks for your advice about e-mailing other Newcastle girls, however I don't know any of their e-mail addresses to e-mail them!! I guess I'll have to respect their privacy. In response to 'Spectre' - I'm really glad that you found meaning in what I wrote. After reading what you said, I don't feel so 'hung up' anymore. I'm glad at least someone else in this town (Newcastle) shares some common ground with me!! Better go! Bye.
Shell. - Fri Mar 24 23:55:02 2000
Shell, I don't want to put my e-mail here, but if you want to find me in ninemsn's chatroom "RedRoom"m I'm there most nights until late (10.30pm - 2am), I'd be more than happy to giveyou my e-mail. Spectra and I have decided to get together for a chat soon and would love you to join us, so please find me soon. Until then, xxxx
Happy - Sat Mar 25 2:23:30 2000
Shell, yeah, it's me again. Just thought, do you know how to get to Red Room? If not leave a message here, and I'll leave details. Bye xx
Happy - Sat Mar 25 2:25:18 2000
'Happy' - it's Shell. I finally made it to the Red Room chat room - however my server won't connect to the chat site (a java script error or something). So as much as I would really like to chat to you guys, it looks like I'll have to bail out this time! Think up of another way we can communicate. God computers piss me off when they decide to delete their own files!! Of all the nights/mornings! Looks like next week is new computer' week. I'll be able to log in by then...I hope! Either way,keep me posted through this site. (Panther must be getting the shits with us by now!) - Sorry.
Shell. - Sat Mar 25 3:04:05 2000
Shell - while most people do use the web site as their chat interface, I'm now going through an IRC program. The server is chat.ninemsn.com.au and the room is #redroom. If you don't already have an IRC program, try MIRC (www.mirc.com) Hope to see you there soon. And Happy - it's SpectRE. ;-)
Spectre - Sat Mar 25 14:10:59 2000
Just a quick note ot Shell and SprectrE (!!), looking forward to this week, Shell I hope you get your computer problem sorted soon, really soon. Did Spectre's suggestion help any? Anyway, keep writing here and let me know how you're getting on. Bye all xxx
Happy - Sat Mar 25 23:20:20 2000
Hi Happy - Shell here. Unfortunately the server at ninemns etc does not give my site access (because I am connected differently to the net) & for this reason I am one of those 'barred' people from entering into any 'chat' site. Shit!! Anyway, so I guess in terms of corresponding to you & Spectre, it'll have to be through this page or another way. However, if I don't hear from you guys again - it will be the saddest cherio that I've had to make! By the way - what's happening this week that's got you in such a euphoric mood? Take care!
Shell. - Sat Mar 25 23:39:00 2000
Shell, Spectre will post her e-mail address soon, so write her when she does, she will also give you mine. We'll then tell you what is happening this week!! So until then ..... xxx
Happy - Sat Mar 25 23:59:38 2000
Don't worry Panther, we're moving out ;-) Shell, you can reach me at spectreoz@hotmail.com I only get junk mail through that account, so posting it here won't matter. Hope to hear from you soon.
Spectre - Sun Mar 26 0:06:18 2000
As for Moving Out Panther, you'll never get rid of me!!! But we havefound alternative ways to communicate though. Will keep you all updated - to a degree!! Cya xxx
Happy - Sun Mar 26 12:44:52 2000
girlz girlz girlzzzzzz - no need to move out just come across to the Tit Bits Graffiti Wall that Panther kindly set up for us girlies - u can communicate with each other and lots of other women as much as you like :)
MsGuided - Mon Mar 27 11:02:14 2000
Hi, I was just watching 60mins, and a guy came out to his father on national tv. I think that is the most courageous thing I've ever seen. I'm in the closet, *major* homophobic family, they were laughing and teasing the guy on tv. I can't see anyway to come out and finally live. I have a girlfriend, str8 friends the whole bit, but I hate living this lie. I know if I dare utter the word "gay" I will be thrown onto the street in a flash and my family will not wanna know about me. Did I say homophobe? I'll just say it again....*homophobes*! And I hate to admit, my brothers are the types who would "gay-bash" if they were given the oppourtunity. Anyway, best of luck 2 that guy and I hope his life makes a turn for the better. I'm gonna stay in my sham of a life till I can afford (student,19yrs) to move *far away* from home...sigh....
Str8gaybloke - Sun Apr 2 20:45:32 2000
str8gaybloke, I know the feeling, I watched that 60minutes special too.... it was very moving.... I just thought what it would be like to tell my dad.... and I could feel my eyes stinging as he punched me!! well, that's what I recon/know would happen anyway..... my parents are just like yours, well, my dad anyway. One day I hope he will be a little more understanding, then I might tell him.... I hope that there is hope yet.. :o) ...... anyway, do u live in brissy..... ?? I need someone my own age to talk to...... seeya... CO xco111@hotmail.com
CO - Tue Apr 4 23:22:00 2000
Hey Everyone! I haven't had much experience with "coming out" considering there are only a few people who know but I would love to talk to anyone who would like to chat about anything at all or discuss any problems they may be having. I'm only young and feeling kind of isolated at the moment having to deal with the fact that I'm a lesbian and all so having someone to talk to would be helpful. Hope everyone who has read some of the messages on these pages realised what a great group of people you all seem to be! My email is Lauzy77@excite.com Hope to talk soon.
schoolgirl, NSW - Wed Apr 5 18:00:22 2000
I'm baaa-aaack!!! Thought I'd share my coming out experience with you. I came out ot my parents last week by giving them some *pflag* stuff, and said "feast your eyes on this!" They were great. Mum was much better than expected, they didn't cry, and they even told me "we still love you" and "we'll support you 200% of the way". I finally got together with my (now) girlfriend later that night - what a big day it was! My folks even want to meet her. I think I am finally realising just how lucky I am to have a wonderful bunch of ppl (family and friends) to support me. I hope things go just as well for anyone else planning to come out, whether it be to family or friends. It is hard, but one thing I learnt, is that it is not as bad as you expect it to be, my mum is proof of that. Be good and play safe. xxx
Happy - Mon Apr 10 14:02:57 2000
Well, snce we are all discussing parents i thought i would add my story. I told my parents about 3 years ago that i was a lesbian. I was in a stable relationship at the time, and they took it rather hard. Last weekend however, my parents were visitng (i have since lost the gf btw). What a suprise i was going to get. My mum was acutally teasing me about perving on the girls, and she offered to tell my extended family that i was going to take a woman/girlfriend to the family wedding that we attended. What a change!!! this is the woman who 3 years ago told me that she wished i had never been born. So, to all those out there who are stressing as their parents are not accpetng their sexuality, give it some time. I was patient, understood that it was a shock, refused to change my mind, but never shoved it in their faces, and was respectful to my parents and their attitudes and ideas at all times. I have been lucky to have been blessed with such wonderful parents. They love me no matter what. Be patient, it takes a while, but it is worth it!
MsA - Tue Apr 11 23:43:02 2000
Thought I'd give you all an update on the g/f "meeting the folks". She met dad when she came to pick me up last night, and although everyone was a little nervous, it went really well. Dad told me this morning that he likes her, and can't wait for mum to meet her (mum was out of the house last night). My g/f also thought things went well and we both realised we were nervous for nothing. Basically, my parents can accept that I am gay and that I have a girlfriend. They may not (and I think, do not) like it for now, but are slowly coming to terms with it. It has only been a week since I came out to them, and let me just say, reality is finally hitting home. I just have to keep reminding myself that I have had a lot longer to come to terms with this than they have, and for this reason, I must force myself to be patient with my folks. I also came out to my boss and a colleague yeasterday and got a wonderful response from them. I can honestly (and happily) say that I have not had one bad response to my coming out yet. I don't think I fully undserstand how lucky I really am. Things with the folks are a little strained at the moment, but it will improve with time and MsA pointed out above. Well, I have rambled enough, just wanted to keep all you wonderful ppl updated. Bye for now. xxxx
Happy - Wed Apr 12 8:44:42 2000
Well, my coming out story is a bit different from the rest, in the aspect, that I'm in my mid 40's. I was sexually abused by male family members when I was a child until my teens. I married and have two grown children now. My marrieage lasted 21 years, and in all that time still practiced sex with guys. After 21 years, I finally got the courage up to tell my wife, and as expected thought the world was going to implode. I left her and my kids and assumed my true "gay" identity. After doing the beats for quite some time and getting no-one interested in forming a one on one relationship, but let me say, the constant amount of sex was good. Finally I answered a Pinkboard ad and met Ian. The day we met was in September over a year and a half ago, and we've been in each others thoughts and company every day since. Last September on our 1 year anniversary we had our "committment ceremony". After all this time, I have found true happiness and true love. My children took quite some time to come to grips with having a queer dad, but they're fine with it now. I hope you eventually find that special someone, 'cause it certainly makes life worth living.
Steve - Newcastle - Thu Apr 13 14:05:46 2000
Hi there! I accepted to myself last year that I was gay... and I am much happier about it than when I was trying to convince myself I wasn't and it was a 'phase'. I'm 28 and I'm still in the closet though and only 2 people know for sure that I am gay because I told them. I have a really close female friend that I would like to tell but am a bit afraid. I'm not afraid that she will say anything because she shares an apartment with a friend of ours that is gay, but I am worried that she may accidentally let it out. She is a little moody and likes her drink :) so am worried that she may say something when in that mood!! I want to say something though because I want to be able to express myself with her and to be able to be free to be me when we are out on Oxford Street in a club. I know ultimately the decision is mine but I wonder if anyone can give me some guidance as to whether it is a good idea to tell someone to keep that kind of secret because I am not ready for my other friends and in particular my family to know just yet....
Advice Please - Thu Apr 13 19:56:09 2000
Don't tell her....if you seriously don't think she will respect the fact that you don't want this news splashed across Australia, then i don't think it would be wise to tell her. She'll understand when you explain your reasons. I think this is something you know already....
Wise.. - Fri Apr 14 16:15:55 2000
It has taken me like 5 years to accept the fact that I am gay. I hate the terminology for gay women, find it even harder to calle myself a "lesbian" or even worse still a "dyke". Is it wrong to hate these terms, am I letting the team down by saying this???? I am not into the scene, dont understand why gay women persist in looking like boys, basically I just dont get any of it. I dont fit in and cant see how I ever will. My only other gay friends are all men, whilst they are great an all, I havent had any other gay women to confide in. I have been one very lonely girl, for a very long time. My parents are majorly homophobic, the thought of telling them that their only daughter is gay is equal to poking out my eyes with nails! They are going to freak. I am now 29 yrs old, and am soooo isolated it isnt funny. When I go to gay clubs, I get very depressed afterwards, because I am not the stereotypical gay girl, I get nasty looks from the other women. I never thought that being gay would be as damn difficult as it is, I thought that I would be more acceptable in this community. Cripes, was I wrong!
femmegal - Fri Apr 14 19:42:37 2000
Dear "femmegal" - I totally agree with your situation. Like yourself,I feel as though I don't fit into either the 'straight' scene or the 'gay' scene because for so long I've been removed from both worlds! People (especially parents) think it's easy to assimilate into social groups these days, but when you look one way & act another way, in the end you don't know who the hell you are & how you're meant to act. I'm in my early 20's & for so long I've known I was gay. I've always accepted this fact,howvever I've never 'acted' upon it. I'm still 'closeted'& am not familiar with anything relating to the 'gay' scene. A lot of the times I also feel lonely, fustrated & depressed because I'm unable to express my sexuality & this is very isolating for me. When I say I'm bored, I'm really expressing how sick I am of not being with a social group geared towards the same sexual orientation as I am. As I'm getting older & want to explore my sexuality, the only thing stopping me is my 'inexperience' with the whole homosexual scene. Likewise,I fear not being accepted by either 'side'. I guess it's the chance you take & the price you're willing to pay in order to find true happiness. That's why accepting yourself is so important because if neither 'side' accepts you, then at least you can accept yourself. Chin up & best of luck! Hope to here from you soon.
situation zero! - Sat Apr 15 0:09:36 2000
Hi guys! I have only recently accepted that I am gay which has made me very happy in most ways! :) I am not exactly out.. in that most of my friends and my family don't know I am gay. I am still new to this..and therefore am asking for some advice from anyone that can help! I like going out occasionally to places like Arq as I like to dance. I am not into drugs and I don't drink but I like the atmosphere and fun! I have no idea if I am attractive to guys or not... How does one know?? I don't possess a perfectly gym built body for a start, although I am not overweight or rake thin... (I'm 6'2 and 80kgs (32" waist) if that helps).. I'm not into the one night stand scene... but would like to get to know more gay guys that I can get to know and have fun with... I'm not sure how to go about this though! I am relatively shy until I get to know someone.. and so I am quite shy when in places like Arq... I never know if someone is looking at me or just glancing past.. and I'm way too shy to approach others that I don't know. How should someone behave?? I feel that usually guys at places like Arq are with a partner or a group of friends and although sometimes I am sure they are noticing me I never know how to react back. Can someone possibly help me out as to how I am to know and how I should react back?? I hope this doesn't sound as silly as I think it does!! Thanks in advance!
Shy - Sat Apr 15 17:44:01 2000
femmegal- I think you need to get over thinking about not relating to certain terminologies and worrying about girls wanting to look like boys and start living your life! Its taken 5 years of it so far. You complain about not fitting in and not being understood & about girls giving you nasty looks because your feminine, honey - get over it !! So you think your the only lipstick lesbian out there ? So what if girls want to dress like boys, you identify with dressing girly and want appreciation for this yet you don't understand others choices or respect them. Loose some of the negativity (perhaps brought on by hanging out with too many poofs!) and start looking around you...support girls events and venues, take the time and make the effort - go out of your comfort zone and do things that make you feel good about yourself. Its not all about clubs...or.looks....or terminologies....its about you - and accepting and liking yourself for who you are, once you start doing this, people will just magnet. Good luck
Love a martini.... - Sat Apr 15 17:48:04 2000
"Love a Martinti" - I couldn't have said it better myself!! Positive & outspoken women like yourself are the inspiration to so many young lesbians who have lost a lot of self-confidence through the negative stereo-typing that society inflicts upon us. You're words & advice are those of a leader - powerful & defiant!
clue - Sat Apr 15 19:44:37 2000
Hi, i'm 15, Gay and dam proud of it. if there is anyone aaround my age who would like to chat with me please E~mail me................ krama49@yahoo.com
Criss - Sat Apr 15 20:06:27 2000
Love a Martini - Thanks for your leading words of wisdom above. I am very happy in my own skin, I have accepted who I am and what I like. I was mainly bitchin about a few experiences of late, spose one gets a bit worn down after awhile!! Quite frankly I have discovered that the scene isnt for me, so I am movin on and will find other avenues to meet new people!! Anyone got any ideas, I am in Melbourne???????
femmegal - Sun Apr 16 9:51:21 2000
femmegal - Once you start meeting people you can build your own friendship network. It is meeting those first few people that seems difficult. The scene is one place you can do this. Others are community and interest groups, personal ads (newspapers and Pinkboard) and chat rooms on Internet.
Panther - Sun Apr 16 10:31:54 2000
To femmegal, situation zero and shy - I can relate to a lot of what the three of you have said on the board in recent days. I only recently came out to my folks, and also have a girlfriend (first one!!). I can tell you that I found it tremendously helpful going to a support group for gay women (I prefer this to "lesbians" - so, no there is nothing wrong with not liking certain words!!). I would recommend it, especially if you don't know any other gay women. You can finally be yourself with them, not need to worry about what you say, do, or who you check out!!! So best of luck, would love to hear an update. Keep smiling!!!
Happy - Sun Apr 16 16:30:14 2000
Hi Shy, Personally I think it's realy hard to meet people in bars etc (as much as I love Arq, Home etc etc), not least because you can't hear yourself think!!! Anyway, try meeting new people through some of the various organisations that are around (Panther may be able to give you some names there!!!). Once you get into a circle of friends it easy. Feel free to start by getting into ours if you like - we have a ball!!! You can contact me at erkoboy32@hotmail.com.au
EB - Tue Apr 18 14:08:14 2000
Coming from a christian family I was told all my life that being gay was wrong. Now I confused because I'm bisexual and have just relized it. So everything I thought is wrong. I have so many conflicting feelings I don't know what to do.
Andrew - Tue Apr 18 15:38:39 2000
Hi Andrew, you should ultimately be true to yourself. It's not right for other people to say that what you are is wrong. The only person you should answer to is yourself. My boyfriend had a similar issue with his parents because they said that his being gay made them unhappy - so in other words, the only way that they would be happy is if he wasn't.......not fair. I don't know where you live, but as per my note above yours, there'd have to be organisations that can help you. Do you have any gay or bi friends that you could talk to? I think that talking about it is the best way to start. Once you mix with like-minded people, you realise that what you are and how you feel is not wrong at all and that should help clear up any confusion. Good luck!
EB - Tue Apr 18 16:30:20 2000
I agree with EB, once I started to go to a lesbian support group, my confidence picked up so much. After going for two eweks, I got the courage to come out to my parents (who aren't doing real well, but I'm glad they know), and I now have a wonderful g/f. So to Andrew, you need to talk to ppl who have been through it all before, so they can tell you what you may expect, and that everything you are feeling and thinking is OK. Be true to yourself, it may not make others happy to start with, but ultimately, you have to be happy for them to be. And if they truly do love you, they will come round - just give it time, plenty of it (that's one thing I've learnt since coming out to the folks!). Always remember to smile, even when you don't want to - trust me, it makes you feel better!!
Happy - Wed Apr 19 8:54:03 2000
Andrew - There are a number of gay & lesbian church groups that can help you come to terms with the tension between your faith and your sexuality.
Panther - Wed Apr 19 9:05:41 2000
...be free little fairies be free......don't just come out. Get Out young man. get out!
moi - Wed Apr 19 18:52:38 2000
Many of you may already know, but there is a "Coming Out Group" that meets at the Gay & Lesbian Counselling Centre in Darlinghurst every Sunday, 3.00 p.m. (even Easterday) . . I have been going for a few weeks and it is awesome, people with same questions, issues etc and a place to meet people and develop friends. It has been the place that kept me sane after coming out 12 weeks ago when everyone else dropped me.
Rick - Sat Apr 22 8:17:03 2000
Rick - Any idea if there is a similar Melbourne kind of group ? Would really be appreciated! Also, to everyone that reads this, as a young girl who has had only one same sex sexual experience, how do I know if i am a) Bisexual b) a lesbian? i do not get aroused by sexual encounters with guys.....any ideas on how to experiment, where to experiment, and how to do it without hurting someone? Sorry, so many questions at once!
Susie! - Mon Apr 24 22:39:10 2000
hi-i'm a 19 year old woman who has just moved from newcastle where i grew up to adelaide. i did this for my boyfriend of 3 years and although i do love him, my feelings for women is becoming uncontrollable. In newcastle, i had a group of male gay men and regually visted the "gay" nightclubs, never actually getting up the courage to do anything more than dance with a woman. the thing is, my total experience with girls is a heavy petting episode with a frieend when i was 16. Now i feel as if no one will want someone who has been in such a long term relastionship with a guy although i have feelings for both men and women. I am finding it difficult to deal with my sexuality with no support in adelaide. does anyone know of any local groups?
Thu Apr 27 2:05:27 2000
Have a look at Pinkboard's Community Listings. There is an adelaide group called BFriend, but I can't remember much about them. I am not sure about groups in Melbourne. If you can't find something there try phoning your state's Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service. They should have some suitable referrals.
Panther - Thu Apr 27 9:12:14 2000
Hi, I just want to know if anyone else has had a similar experience to mine. I'm a 26-year-old woman living in Sydney, and up until about 6 months ago, I shagged every boy in sight. (Although it was never truly satisfying, and I'd always been attracted to women but never took it seriously.) Then I slept with a woman for the first time and it totally blew my mind. I now recognise that my initial feelings towards women and the fact that there was always something missing from my heterosexual relationships were a sign that I might be gay. However, I'm still don't feel 100% comfortable calling myself gay, because I spent so much time dating and having sex with boys! In addition, I'm concerned about my 'credibility' when it comes to having a relationship with another woman, because of my lack of experience. Has anyone else been through anything similar? I have no interest in men any more and feel totally comfortable in the lesbian community surrounded by strong and out and proud women. Thanks!!!
panda (manda74@start.com.au) - Thu Apr 27 16:56:33 2000
panda-your great!! I have a few friends who have had similar experiences to you, one being my girlfriend. Not feeling 100% about calling yourself gay is fine. My girlfriend doesn't.And worrying about your credibility...don't!! I've had better sex with girls who are experiencing it for the first time then I ever have with some full on lesbians!! Afterall, it comes down to the individual-not necessarily the length of time you've been sleeping with girls. Anyway.... you've got a few years of catching up to do...get out there girl!!
Girls....all i really want is girls... - Sat Apr 29 15:39:11 2000
19year old- Hi there, just wanted to let you know that if you want to e-mail me personally just for someone to chat to -your more then welcome. I'm 26years old, I have been out since I was 15. I remember what it was like not to have any support back then and can imagine how isolated you must feel now. I have lived in Sydney for the past 3 years, before this lived abroard. I'm into clubs, bars & getting upto mischief. Drop me an e-mail if you like. trailerparktrade@hotmail.com
Lipstick lesso - Sat Apr 29 15:57:09 2000
Panda... I know where your coming from and I struggled for a while with the concept of labelling myself and finally came the conclusion that it really didn't matter. Don't stress you will find the right girl for you and your experience or lack with be immaterial :o)
M - Tue May 2 14:15:16 2000
So why is it that people dont believe me when i say i didnt choose to be gay? damn it sucks when they say, naaah you just chose to be gay, you can change it you know?? yeh right, who in there right nids would choose to be sectored out for there life and recognised as, " oh yeh, that fag"... Grrrrrrr! Ahh well, im over it, but damn it would be nice to see those ppl have gay kids just to show em how hard it can be!! Gota love simple minds dont you. :o)
Sat May 6 1:00:17 2000
The thing that scares me the most about being gay is that most of my life when i thought i was straight, I always imagined settling down with the one person and having that constant companionship. Now I just dont see that is going to happen, being the romantic kinda gal I am an all, worries me that I may end up with a whole lot a debris behind me ie failed gay relationships! Feels like I give a little bit of myself to each of them, I hate people having my secrets in their head..aaarggghhhhh It just seems so hard to meet nice down to earth women, women who dont play games and women that are honest about their intentions! Cripes i would just like to know where i stood for once! And with women, they seem to get all hot and heavy so damn quickly, before they know if the other persons personality is suitable to their own. Passion is good an all but useless if u dislike the mind that goes with it, unless of course its just a sex thing....then go for it!!!! Ok I have had a whinge.......
femmegal - Sat May 6 10:40:12 2000
femmegal... thanks for the whinge :o) Now at I know I'm not the only one!
M - Sat May 6 11:38:59 2000
femmegal check out www.thepinksofa.com
Sun May 7 22:50:48 2000
hi- im the 19 year old from adelaide.. just wanted to thank you for having such a great site...you really have helped me. :)
alittlelessconfused - Fri May 12 13:05:24 2000
I'm 27,married and bi.I thought I didn't ever need to come out to my family.My sexual orientation is my business right.Yesturday I realised that for my own mental health I need to come out to my family.I sat down and wrote letters to them which were posted.I feel so happy even though I know thier reaction will be not so great.It doesn't matter what they think, but it does matter what I think of myself.I'm starting to really love me and accept who I am.I'm no longer going to paticipate in my own oppression.Mentaly I have been through hell and as of today I finally feel like I'm on the other side.Life can only get better.To all those contemplating comming out create a supportive friendship base for yourself first...I haven't lost a friend yet whom I've told.What my parents say may hurt but I won't give thier words too much power.I have my friends who accept and love me for who I am.You only get to live once and I intend to live honestly and be proud of the person I am.We can't choose our sexual orientation but we can choose to take steps toward our own freedom and happiness.The pain I may cause anyone can not compare to the mental cruelty of oppression.One day I shall come out to my kids but only when the time is right.Good luck to the rest of you all.I think about your pain often....love Fi
Out and Proud from WA - Tue May 16 13:49:51 2000
21 yrs old guy, well well, "IM GAY MUM!!" ive been practising these everyday but i dont have enough gutts to face them, the hardest part is, im the only gay in the family, i had a strong naive cuture background that being gay its not normal..and i strongly believe if dad knows that im gay for sure , he will bash me up with the help of my 2 homophobic brothers..im a student, i need family support by telling them makes my life miserable, what do you think panther do i have to? all i want from them is acceptace but i dont know if they can accept the fact that i like men......... tell me what do u think guys?
student21 - Wed May 17 12:07:30 2000
student21 - You are in a difficult situation. On one hand you want to be out and proud to your family. On the other hand you need their continued support so that you can study. Many people have asked this question before, so have a look back at some of their answers. But ultimately the decision is yours to make.
Panther - Wed May 17 18:45:19 2000
i am coming out as bi and was wondering what lesbians and gays thought about bisexual men and women. Are bi's allowed in the mardi gras? Or is there a stigma attached to being bi due to the fact that the are not discrimated against as much. Please fill me in...
justwondering - Wed May 17 18:56:08 2000
justwondering, as far as the majority are concerned you're part of the family. we'll sort out the membership with mardi gras eventually. hopefully all will go well for you.
Wed May 17 22:26:24 2000
well said -anon, may 17 22:26:24 2000. i was beginning to wonder if the bisexual kids were really accepted. it can be very hurtful when fellow members of the gay community discriminate against us bisexuals. thanks for reasuring us that we are 'part of the family' welcome 'justwondering' hope all goes well for you. ;)
redstar - Wed May 17 23:50:03 2000
'just wondering' - have a read of the SGLMG graffiti wall.
redstar - Wed May 17 23:52:08 2000
Don't. It will depress you. It depresses me.
Thu May 18 9:05:03 2000
Just goes to show you that you always have to believe in yourself, no matter what anyone says.
Sun May 21 19:00:45 2000
If I was wrong in suggesting the SGLMG wall, I apologise, but this is the situation for bisexuals at the moment. the wall can get you down if you focus on the negitive entries. there are many, many positive ones as well, from supportive gay men and women. the wall show's me that most people are willing to accept us into the community officialy, even if a 'no' vote was reached for the moment. The first entry on wall 11 is great, and andys entry on 'mon may 1 14:43:07 2000 really shows intelligence. not all people are open minded, (though i do believe many in the gay community are) regaurdless of their sexuality, we all learn this in life eventually, it's somthing that will take time to mend, untill then I don't see anything wrong with people who are coming out (particularly bisexuals), reading over the SGLMG wall. educate yourself, read about what is happening in the gay community, weather it's positve or negitive. Bi's are part of it too.
redstar. ;) - Sun May 21 20:03:05 2000
This a wonderful forum for us to relax in: Try these Notes: Search at http://www.altavista.com (use search-word ... yogatheos ) My Email: yoga_theos_australia@fcmail.com Well done everybody! - We're getting there!
yogatheos - Wed May 31 10:46:51 2000
It looks like all of the issues about 'coming out' have been solved because no one has written anything for a while! Must be the season??
Sun Jun 4 0:24:03 2000
I'm in a real mess... at 33 i've never had the nerve to come out to family or friends and have ended up married. I suppose that's what happens when your totally gutless & hide in a closet.. I've known that i was gay since my early teens & have been leading a double life, which wasn't easy & has become alot harder.... i feel guilty about sneaking around satisfying my lust, & want to end this double life, but don't know how. i don't know if i could handle it if it all came out in the open.
Mozz - Tue Jun 6 7:50:34 2000
Mozz - The bad new is that you will likely be caught eventually. In fact your wife may already know. You know the best way to come out, because you know the situation. To work out what this is it is useful to talk with someone. I recommend you phone your state gay & lesbian counselling service and talk through it with them. You may need to talk with them a few times. It would also be useful to make some gay friends so that you can rely on them if something goes wrong.
Panther - Tue Jun 6 9:28:23 2000
Mozz - I not only feel for you, but can relate completely to your situation. I'm 34 married and at times feel completely overwhelmed with the idea that im gay and need to sort my life out. I have come to the point of realising that staying in my marriage will ultimately be impossible, and hugely unfair to my wife who deserves the chance to find someone who can give her the love and companionship she deserves. The feeling of being trapped and lost can be incredibly isolating and lonely. I think panther has it right when he says to get some counselling, and get to know some gay guys who you can just talk too when the going get tough. Would love to be able to say to you I've got it worked out, have come out and everythings fine, but I'm still on my way. I guess I'd just encourage you by saying you arent the only one to find himself in this situation, and that others have made it and so will we. Keep positive and talk to someone soon.
martin - Tue Jun 6 9:51:43 2000
ohmigod...i soo don't know if anyone wants to hear my story...but i thought it was cute in the end. ok so anyway....i have always been different.....girly...but comfortable with it. i didn't realise that i was gay until i was fourteen...and when i did i was like."oh ok...whatever".so in other words i'm comfortable with it. i guess my parents have always known...i've always known they've known, and they've always known that i've known that they've known!!we had just never spoken about it..... until this year.i had to start counselling because i had an anxiety disorder that was getting out of control and interfering with school work,social life etc.i had kept this a secret so my parets didn't actually know about this.it turned out to be obsessive compulsive disorder(ocd). i have since had two visits to a psychiatrist.anyway yada yada yada..he asked me if i was comfortable with my sexuality.i said i was.any confusion?no i said..always accepted it.any hassles?he asked....yeah i have...heaps.i had to tell him everything.so i get constant staring whenever i go out, people yell out names and abuse at me everyday at school. but i'm still happy..i just ignore it and keep on walking. he thinks that i have to deal with some of the anxiety around me so i can get on top of my ocd. and he also thinks that even though i might be happy to ignore the insults and abuse, it might actually be affecting me alot and showing itself in differentways.....without me knowing....hence the ocd. so in dealing with this he wanted me to have a talk to my parents about my "public secret"(my sexuality...not the ocd) as he called it. so he told them.i mean i let him.....but how funny is that..my psychiatrist came out to my parents for me.heehee it makes me laugh.except the uncomfortble part was when i had had to have a "chat" with my paents yesterday.....scare factor 12.not with them...the're totally cool...you know love me no matter what parents....but it was the whole adultness of it....like the sexuality thing is an adult issue....that i'd never had a chat to them about.so cut a long story short....my story is that my psychiatrist came out to my parents for me!!hehee.i'm 17 by the way
paul.b>^..^< - Mon Jun 12 11:17:07 2000
I've going to a writing class recently. Giving myself permission to be creative etc etc. Tonight our writing exercise was "haiku" poetry (a very short poetic form developed in Japan). The teacher asks us to write a haiku poem using or based on words beginning with the letter M. This was popped out of my head: We meet, a meal smile and embrace meld into muscles. What must be on my mind ?
The gay haiku writer - Tue Jun 13 20:49:06 2000
I am an Asian in Australia, not good looking (but not ugly), mid-40s, short and pudgy, a bit of a flab, very small manhood (call it boyhood), not a party-goer, not a pill popper, greying hair, intelligent, professional, employed full-time (earning 65K plus per annum), have my own house & cars (both empty), unlucky in love, much more unlucky in beats and saunas.... What future do I have when everyone goes after the groomed and the young, the beautiful, and the muscled hunks?
Oh, dear.... what a life! - Sat Jun 17 1:23:18 2000
Oh, dear - Many people do go after youth and beauty. There are other people around, though, who are in a similar position to you. Maybe you should have a look at some groups. I only know Sydney, but the other states have similar groups. The G&L Business Association is for professionals. MAG - Mature Age Gays is for 40 and overs (I think). Some of the social groups like Helix on the North Shore have a good range of ages.
Panther - Sat Jun 17 12:01:58 2000
hmmm... can I ask a question of the board? if ur parents stop asking u if u have a boyfriend, and don't ask u anymore who u hang out with and where u go, is that a sign that they suspect ur gay?? I think mine will be ok with it... and they probably know more than I grant them for!
panda - Sun Jun 18 18:32:03 2000
panda - Maybe. Maybe they just got tired of asking. Maybe they are accepting that you are an adult. Maybe they realised that you didn't want to tell them, so they'll just wait. Maybe they are trying some other method to find out what you are doing. Could they suspect that you are involved in some dangerous/illegal activity like drugs?
Panther - Mon Jun 19 9:32:42 2000
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