DC__ - Fri Dec 13 14:38:54 1996
Hi people out there, I came out nearly 3yrs ago, mainly to myself and my partner. He thought he could have 2 females in the bed..not! But still I haven't found anyone, maybe I still 'look' straight. Someone said once, 'Oh, it must be your long fingernails!" I don't seem to hurt myself?!! I've also realised that sex to me is more mental than physical. The physical one's been good,(still a virgin with women though) but at the end of it all, why do I still feel ripped off? I need mental stimulation, and some sexy groovin on the dance floor. Will I ever have the guts to ask a girl out? Will I ever meet a girl, who will not presume that an attractive fem is not taken or straight? Tell me your thoughts -- share with me your opinion. "Love me as I am today ..not for what I was yesterday, and not for what I'll be tomorrow."
Snake - Sat Dec 14 1:24:38 1996
Can anyone see me coming out to my wife of seven years and four year old daughter? Why is my life so complicated? I'm gay and proud!!. I've wasted so many years in an unhappy hetrosexual relationship and only wished I had made this decision sooner. We are so fortunate to have Panther in our lives. Thankyou Panther I've finally found my gayself and and I can now go on to live life how it was intended. I wish to extend to everyone a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year. Wish me luck guys.
Peter - Sun Dec 15 7:53:40 1996
Hey Folks Thought I might add my coming out story to the rest of the courageous ones here. For years at school I was tormented, being called all those lovely names that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. I am not usre how they knew then what took me years to come to terms with. Or was it just coincidence? Becuase of all the torment I never asked myself the question of whether or not I was gay. In fact I learned so very well to be straight that I was. I had lots of encounters with friends from cadets and the neighbourhood but that was all taken as teenage exploration. Later I avoided anything to do with exploring my sexuality. In my mind I was straight. During a failing marriage where I was confronted face on with my sexuality I went suicidal and couldn't talk to anyone. Eventually my then wife took up the courage to let me off the hook so to speak. We never spoke of me being gay - though I did try once. After that I knew I had to discover my sexuality so that I did not hurt myself or another person like that again. Then with the help of a dear Dyke friend I began to come out to my workmates and friends, I certainly owe her a debt of grattitude. Now the heavy burden is lifted from my heart - even been in a mardi gras parade or two on a float. Sometimes its still hard coming out to people I don't know or have known for a long time but it gets easier. I want to finish this glimpse into my coming out by saying if you are reading this and have feelings of destruction like I did give someone a call - there are many proffessionals out there willing to help. Power to you all.
Hexer - Wed Dec 18 4:09:00 1996
Your local Gay and Lesbian counselling service is always ready to take your call.
Panther - Wed Dec 18 8:50:10 1996
I have learned that sexuality is a somthing over which you have no contol but which contols you. be not afraid of your feelingings it is a part of living if you need help hopefully there is someone there if not call me.
wam@tpgi.com. au (wabb) - Fri Dec 20 2:18:05 1996
Coming to terms with my sexuality has been and still is a difficult experience. Fortunately I found a very understanding friend through the Pinkboard Personals which has for the first time in my life allowed me to be who I am. Don't deny your true self and waste years of your life as I did. There are people like me and you out there who understand and want to help. Your not alone so get out of your shell, enjoy life and do something positive for yourself. A big thankyou to Pete for your support.
Peter - Fri Dec 20 4:34:53 1996
I am a 44 year old gay man who just recently came out. I was not as lucky as you guys because I really had a terrible time coming to terms with my sexuality. I came from a strict Catholic upbringing and I can still clearly remember how, in my early 20s, my mum and dad got a priest to exorcise the 'devil' out of me. It was a very harrowing experience and the exorcism itself lasted three days. The priest gave up and then admitted that there was basically nothing wrong with me. I ran away from home and came to Australia in 1986. I am still in deep s--t because I do not like the gay image being flaunted here in Sydney. I am certainly no hunk and look like a plain Joe. In the ten years that I have been here, I've never had a gay mate of worth. Every single gay man that I have met were of the slam, bang, thank you ma'am type. Why is so important for the gay icon to be young, blond, and built/endowed like a Greek god (if not a Mack truck)?
John - Fri Dec 20 16:19:13 1996
AT last my boyfriend and I are invited to a family wedding. Such a sign of acceptance. Only one drawback... I have to go to it. Dull Dull Dull. After years of avoiding the subject while I was in their presence, my cousins will have to talk about us as a couple and not just flatmates.
cumrat - Sat Dec 21 22:43:07 1996
Dear John I understand a little of what you have been through and what you are still going through. But you really have suffered a very strong spiritual and emotional attack with the exorcism. I hope that things work out for you. Don't be too concerned about the people on the Sydney Gay scene that you don't relate too. These are just the most visiable, and if they aren't the type of people you want as friends you will soon find the one's you do. Being Catholic and gay is difficult, I hated it. But over many years I learnt to develope my own spiritual beliefs and found many people, gay and straight, who have a positive view of homosexuals. These two things helped me to turn around from hating my self and hoping I would soon die to escape my sexuality, to loving the gift of my sexuality.
Pauly D. - Sat Dec 21 23:02:23 1996
Coming Out on Video
To all those who care: Today is Friday, December 27th 1996. A very close friend killed himself last Christmas because he told his family he was gay and they beat the shit out of him. His parents and brothers will never get accounted for what they have done because no court in the land will find fault in harsh words and poisonous deeds. They haven't actually fired the gun; all that they did was, through venoms and slurs, snuffed out the last remaining spark in Martin's heart. I told him this was not the right time but, Martin being Martin, bared his heart and soul to the people he loved most. What did he get in return? Oh, God, I miss him very much. I love you, Martin.
Allan - Fri Dec 27 10:08:20 1996
When I came out age 16 (not thru choice as I felt it wasn't the right time), my mother took me to the family doctor (a very conservative man). He asked me what the problem was so I told him that my mother had just found out I was gay. "Do you have any problems with that?" he asked. "No." I replied. "OK. Go outside and I'll calm your mother down." When we got home she told my father. His response? "I don't understnd it but I have to accept it. You're still my son. But I won't lie. If anyone asks, I'll tell them the truth." I was stunned. That was in 1976. Today I get on really well with my parents and they are so accepting that I think they love my man (for 10 years now) more than me!!! My parents are both working class (for lack of a better term), the group so often blamed for not accepting sexuality issues. Remember when you come out, don't pigeonhole people by categories, you may get a shock. I never imagined my strait-laced mother and 'okker' father could be so cool.
Brisbane Boy - Sun Dec 29 16:20:49 1996
Hi I wanted to sahre these words from a book I am reading at the moment. Who lies inside by Timothy Ireland. "It was as if out of the corner of my eye I could see a stranger standing in the shadows and I was scared to look too closely in case I saw who it was. Worst of all the stranger seemed to have wriggled under under my skin, or had grown inside me all my eighteen years, only now for some reason that stranger was not content to stay in the shadows but wanted to step out into the light and be seen. I was afraid of that stranger. I wanted him to go away, step outside my body and shrivel up. But he stayed inside me, breathing more deeply, becoming more and more alive, and as he grew stronger I was more scared and, like anyone frightened I wanted to destroy him. But no matter how hard I squeezed the stranger's throat, there was no way I could wring all the life out of him without murdering something that was, for good or bad, a living, breathing part of me". Coming out for me has been a long an difficult journey... the hardest of which was facing the stranger within and knowing that stranger was really me. The real stranger was the person I was trying to be - what my friends and family wanted me to be. Its only when I realised this that I knew that to be happy in life I had to know and live as me. I am out now though sometimes its still hard but the burden of fighting the stranger within has gone. May you find it within you to come to know the person you are and BE.
Pride - Sun Jan 5 14:28:54 1997
I didnt have to break the news to my family.My so called school friends did it for me by calling up my mum and telling her I was in a gay cult and that I was really unhappy but my girlfriend had poisoned my mind.
Lolita Lick Me Out - Tue Jan 7 17:02:57 1997
Well I went to the Wedding and almost everyone was great about my boyfriend and I being there. Most just wanted to know normal things about us like what hubby does for a living. Some quitely asked him how long He had been going out with me, just so they could work out how long they have really not known much about me for. But then there was the odd cousin who normally would talk to me non stop. She avoided us like the plague. Probably was trying to work out a polite way of asking who is the do.er and who is the do.ee, and other such questions dumb people ask about what fags get up to in bed.
cumrat - Thu Jan 9 20:59:19 1997
My Girfriend kinda came out for me. My mom knew I was acting different and she knew that I was always talking to Lisa (my girlfreind) so she called her behyind my back and my gf told her. I didnt know how she would take it, that being my reason for not telling her long before but she was very kewl with it, she even jokes with us and she says that she is going to be Lisa's mother-in-law (we are engaged but we havent told her yet). I was really happy that she took it so well, she is a great mom and I am thankful for her.
Jess - Wed Jan 15 3:24:12 1997
sa me fait chier de te dire que je vai me faire la bank du coin. moi j`me fou de ca je veux des criminal graff.
some - Wed Jan 29 8:14:23 1997
sa me fait chier de te dire que je vai me faire la bank du coin. moi j`me fou de ca je veux des criminal graff.
some - Wed Jan 29 8:16:08 1997
How do you come out of the egg and start singing a new song, without the hawks eating you to death, I am a lesbian, I'm very attracted to other women and I've been for many years, At the age of 23 I am looking for that women to be with, I want my mom to know and my dad and for them to say your okay, to except me this is who I am, I want to spend my days with her, she is the one for me.I'm going to be free, to be an eagle soaring higher than any bird out there anouncing that I'm gay and I love women, I love women> I'm educating myself, and learning that it's okay to be free.
Brenda Lea Hamodee - Wed Jan 29 22:02:19 1997
i slept with both men and women until the age of 27. i always considered myself straight until a slow weird irreversable feeling began over taking me. i became engrossed, obsessed, in love with, lustful of, women in all their shapes and sizes. i decided to be a dyke. what a fantastic decision. i wasn't born lesbian but became lesbian, in a slow but sure identifying manner, and have never regretted the decision. i didn't come out i was outed by the poor defenceless boyfriend i shocked when i made the announcement. he rang all my friends, my family and employer and told them. oh well i suppose it saved me some time. thank god i'm in the lesbian community. its a loving, party place to be and i adore it.
lolita lickmeout - Thu Jan 30 21:16:38 1997
I'm a proud Lesbian who has been out for the past 5 years. My mother has no clue and I really dont mind her not knowing, reason being my girlfriend sleeps over all the time and I think if my mom knew I was gay, I would have to stop living the good life :) and have to get a place of my own :(
Cristy - Sat Feb 1 14:55:10 1997
Being out at work is so easy and everyone is really accepting. But everytime they hear a song from prillisla Queen of the dessert they expect me to like it and think it's "faaaaaabie". Don't they think that some queen's actually have taste.
Butt Slut - Sun Feb 2 20:28:14 1997
Coming out to one's own mater was a learning experience at the time. I learnt to tell her something like this at a time when she is *not* eating. Coming out to your parents is stressful enough without you having to do the Heimlich manoeuvre as well.
Ripley - Sat Feb 8 11:40:40 1997
behind closed doors living my lies while i searcc for the truth trying to see things as they stand.It sounds really great but so unobtainable.:(
spaceboy - Fri Feb 21 21:32:20 1997
Spaceboy you WILL find a way!!!
Fri Feb 21 23:29:02 1997
i find no need in comming out!!!!!!
Sat Feb 22 15:17:23 1997
There are many times we may come out in our life. The most important one is coming out to ourself. Above all, unto thy own self be true. Once we have come out to ourself we can choose to come out to others - family, friends, work mates, school mates, etc. Our own circumstances and feelings should be used to decide whether we should come out to any particular person or group of people. We each need to make our own decision on this, and we must respect other people's decisions.
Panther - Sun Feb 23 11:00:36 1997
I'm not sure what being "out" exactly means.The people who matter to me ( family and friends ) know who I am and I never pretend to anyone to be something other than who i am.I also find that a large proportion of the people in my world don't need to know.Yet despite almost universal acceptance from those who do matter I still find myself sometimes feeling empty and guilty.There is nothing overt i can pin it on. Perhaps its societal pressure, or living in the country and not feeling part of the "community" (whatever that might be), or perhaps I'm just deluding myself but I can't say that "outing" mysef 10 years ago has led me to be happier or more fullfilled. I can't help thinking that there's a little more to my life than declaring that I am what I do in bed.Still it must have been important at the time or I would never have done it,but don't pin everything to it it isn't a panacea.
Sun Feb 23 16:26:28 1997
I'm not sure what being "out" exactly means.The people who matter to me ( family and friends ) know who I am and I never pretend to anyone to be something other than who i am.I also find that a large proportion of the people in my world don't need to know.Yet despite almost universal acceptance from those who do matter I still find myself sometimes feeling empty and guilty.There is nothing overt i can pin it on. Perhaps its societal pressure, or living in the country and not feeling part of the "community" (whatever that might be), or perhaps I'm just deluding myself but I can't say that "outing" mysef 10 years ago has led me to be happier or more fullfilled. I can't help thinking that there's a little more to my life than declaring that I am what I do in bed.Still it must have been important at the time or I would never have done it,but don't pin everything to it it isn't a panacea just a part of the journey.
ram - Sun Feb 23 16:28:14 1997
Too scared to do the deed myself, itold my sister i was gay expecting the news to travel the length and breadth of my entire family. DAMN the first secret she ever kept.
jeremy - Tue Feb 25 19:46:44 1997
I came out when I was 30 yrs. old. I had been married for 13 yrs. I also have 2 boys 15 & 11. My husband asked me what was wrong and I told him I was a lesbian. This was on a Thursday. I moved out on Saturday. My kids have accepted my relationship with my partner of 5 yrs. I feel they accept her more than they do their fathers new wife. The hardest thing I ever had to do was talk to my kids. I was lucky though. I found my soulmate right away. Acually within one year.
Gaytor - Fri Mar 7 14:02:05 1997
Hetrosexuality is not normal... just common Don't be a sheep!
Happily "Out" Loonette - Sat Mar 8 10:54:01 1997
"What a piece of work is man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like and angel, in apprehension how like a god, the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals" I don't think I will ever have the courage to be 'different'. Even though I know both my parents will accept and love me no matter what, I don't think I will ever come OUT, but for me I think its OK, my life is full of secrets, this is just another one.
Hamlet - Sat Mar 8 22:57:48 1997
I had a worst case scenario for coming out. My certified paranoid schitzo Mum walked in on my BF & I rolling naked around my bedroom floor. I shut the door on her & made him climb out the window. As I was 17 & in the UK I was officially jailbait and & Mum threatened to call the police. She stole my address book & went through it phoning up all my schoolfriends' parents, warning them not to let their kids have any contact with me as I might make them gay too. After I calmed her down a bit - no mean feat - She said that she still loved me even if I have been seduced and warped by perverts. Two days later She went through my wallet & found a business card from a sex shop. The card listed all the kind of things they sold...you know porn videos, jewellery paraphenalia.......paraphenalia! Is'nt that child abuse she said....It was impossible talking her down that time. I was thrown out the next day (2 days before my 18th birthsday) & the friend I moved in with in Brighton had to change his phone number. I then lost contact with my family until about 6 months later when I bumped into my sister at a gay nightclub...well it turned out she was straight (drat) but she was out with her gay friends...After a big chinwag she got me to go and see my Dad who I had been stopped from seeing by the courts (divorce) 4 years earlier. The contrast was remarkable. My Dad & his Wife were unconditionally accepting. They made no attempts to even ask the usual Why? questions and have only ever given me support since. I am now in regular contact with all my sisters & My BF of 4 years & I recently visited my family in the UK & he went down a treat!....As for my mum? well she's still not all there & I still hav'nt spoken to her (7 years now) apparently she onced asked if I was dead yet but thats about all. I would love to have a reconcilliation but Until she starts to get treatment for her mental problems I think I'd be risking a knife in the back ...literally. My BF is a tower of strength and Is the shining example of why it's all worth while. Even If it's only to yourself, come out come out wherever you are, Chances are you'll have a better time than I did :)
Endora Finn - Tue Mar 18 9:47:07 1997
I came out at 16. Through traumatic experiences I grew and learnt about being me. Drugs and alcohol eased the suffering. But it was through suicide that I grew strong.
BJF - Thu Mar 20 19:03:20 1997
I never realized that coming out at 20 would be such an enlightening, but lonely experience. Every lesbian I've ever encountered is in her 40s and has children and is happy. I am alone, confused, and hell, not even Tori Amos can help me. My coming-out story is this: it just didn't happen. Which is unfortunate. The people around me accept me as Jennifer, and that's all I'll ever be. >sigh< But I am relieved that finally, after twenty years of indecision, I am finally free. No one can take that away.
Jennifer kinneyj@norwich.edu - Fri Mar 21 2:27:43 1997
wo baby ive lusted after cute guys since i was a teenager straight life was rudementery to say the least but the prob with me is that every time i meet new guy im so f........ excited i cant get to sleep so the next day i feel like a godam drone all dam day and that my dear friends is the dilema any suggestions besides drugs hot baths blah blah
jag - Wed Apr 2 10:13:20 1997
to all the + this is the sign that meens positive so do just that be positive ok jag xxx
jag - Wed Apr 2 10:17:26 1997
I don't think Iv'e come out as such. Just kept a low profile.
Wed Apr 2 13:15:47 1997
As a 20 year old baby-dyke tentatively creeping out of the closet, I'd just like to thank everyone who has contributed to this page so far...it's incredibly reassuring to read your stories and share in your experiences. Ta very much. Love you all :)
LK - Sun Apr 6 18:38:51 1997
Continued...
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