Pinkboard Graffiti Wall - Boys Graffiti Wall

I can understand the guy loses 99% of the feeling using a condom.I have to admit im pretty much the same.Alot of the time i dont cum and have to try hard not to lose interest altogether.
Condoms i feel defeat the whole point of having sex, but if your sexually promiscuous i guess they could save your life.
to me i cannot see the diference between a guy wearing a condom or a dildo.

oh yes, HUUUUGE distinction there. Puh-lease

www.arts.usyd.edu.au/publications/wordisout/archive/01odonn.pdf

look up the link, I googled barebackers clubs and got it.
Found it an interesting read especialy about the bond formed between bug givers and bug chasers when infection takes place.

I have had auto-immune problems all my life and am currently fighting two Court cases related to the relevant treatment required.

I cannot understand the mentality of someone who wants to be infected with HIV. The way I itch, I don't even want to find out what a case of Crabs feels like thank you very much.

HIV/AIDS may not be the fast death sentence that it was when it struck in the '80s, but with all the modern medicines any immune issue is a death sentence, it just takes a little longer.

And remember, those of you who think there is a cure around the corner: WAKE UP! There's more money in treatment than in cure.

More money in treatment than a cure ?

I just cannot beleive that there are that many corrupt scientists, doctors etc out there to have a world wide conspiracy like this.

Sure it has been proven that some Pharma companies have had dodgy practices and some scientists.

But I always think that there must be a scientist or doctor etc out there who has a family member and/or friend etc who comes down with a disease and does nothing about it ? or gives the cure to that friend and that friend keeps their mouth shut about it even when one of their family or friends comes down with the disease ?

I dont think so.

Hi guys , Im interested to hear from others who have grown out of the whole Oxford Street culture and live "normal" lives that dont involve partying on a regular basis.

I'm 43, and during my mid 20's to about age 38 i was pretty much a week in week out clubber/punter on Oxford Street.

In the last 5 years I've scaled right back, I havent been out to Oxford Street for 2 years but I still make the effort to go to Mardi gras and Sleaze each year.

In 2007 though I found i didnt enjoy Mardi Gras, i spend most of the night feeling musically alienated cause I dont know all the current tunes and I spent a lot of time in the forecourt chatting to people I knew. I left the party bored at 5am (despite still being rather wide awake if u know what i mean)

Sleaze 2007 I simply didnt go. I just wasnt motivated.

The 30th Anniversary party next year i suppose I'll go , but frankly i'm not fussed either way.

So , I'm a single gay guy approaching mid 40's who doesnt enjoy going out and whose single friends from the 1990's have all drifted away or others are in long term relationships. I find I sit at home on weekends and watch TV all the time, and i enjoy this. Is a hermits life a healthy one, Im not so sure it is. I wonder what life is going to be like in my 50's and 60's. It's all a bit scary.

I'm interested in hearing from single guys 30's or 40's whose life no longer revolves around nightclubbing and dance parties. What do you do in your spare time ? What plans (if any) do you have when you get into later life.

Well Dean when there are 5 or 6 Halls of music and you cannot find one I wonder what music you are into ?
My preference is Hordern if its hard otherwise Dome and have never had a problem.

I too only do the big parties so thats 4 ? a year now eg
Mardi Gras, Inquisition, Sleaze , NYE.

I stopped doing Oxford St late 80's when there was Club Hordern or Alexandria Basketball stadium and when the parties diversified into the many genres we now have I just did the usual 6 or so a year and never went back to Oxford St. I put a post on Party Wall a few weeks back about how Ugly Oxford St had become after coming out of the movies around midnight on a Sat night.

Although this year may be my first for no NYE in about 28 years as my beloved Hordern has been taken over by House music arrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
No Pride,no Harbour Bear party by the look of it and House just puts me to sleep ( and no offence to House lovers ).

I never wanted a relationship when I was younger as saw all my friends go through all the fights/break ups and decided not me. Now I am in late 40's , I wouldnt mind a regular fuck buddy etc but not too many into nice sweet
older guys

I tried the net and the various sites and found the guys were either total tops or total bottoms and thats all they wanted or the ones that seemed nice opened up and said they like wearing panties or had some hidden kinky desire. And whats with the no kissing thing !!! hello you are happy to have a cock up your butt or in your mouth but you dont do kissing ! sigh............ then of course is the guys who just email for stories or scamming pics and in the end it is just not worth the
stress worrying about those sites so have cut right back on them and slowly weaning myself off them. Currently trying out the saunas. Why ? the one thing on the net you cannot judge is chemistry. No matter how good looking , now big the cock, how quirky their emails are. Its chemistry and when you are out in the clubs or SOP or
saunas etc, eye contact does all that for you in the blink of an eye. They dont like you , they look away and keep walking or if they do, eye contact is held and off you go. Done in seconds instead of days of useless email tag.

I have always enjoyed my own company and have lived on my own for about 25 years now so no problem with that. I dont think I want to live with someone but a regular with each having their own place and someone to go on holidays/weekends etc would be nice.

Is a hermits life a healthy one ? well consider there is a lot of stress not in your life now. Sure loneliness can set in. Fortunately for me I still have a lot of my friends since I came to Sydney 26 years ago. Lost quite a few 1989/90/91/91 to AIDS and 2 friends just drifted apart from but the bulk I still have. If I didnt have them I think I would have moved from Sydney and gone coastal and would just come to Sydney for the parties if they still appealed to me and somehow I think they will for quite a few years yet hopefully

In my spare time ? I am a 9-5'er so I do gym about 4 times a week and thats pretty social as well, on weekends its beach , some TV etc and probably about every 3rd weekend its a catch up for dinner or movie etc
with friends . I could have way more contact with my friends if I wanted to but happy with the way things are at the moment.

Life in 50's ? well nearly there. 60's ? well hopefully the coastal change by then. Later ? I have always thought a gay retirement village would be a hoot so long as it was a large'ish one with lots of things to do if you wanted to etc.

Did that help ?

I think there are alot of people in your situation. They find that as they get older they are more and more alienated from the scene because it's so youth oriented.

I suppose it's just a natural progression that as you get older you too get the boot from Oxford st.

Yeah what is it with guys that dont kiss yet they rim,suck penis and do anal?
They say its too intimate......yeah right

deal with your homosexuality guys

I was out the other night and met up with some "old queens" yes much older than 30 they were 60plus.
We today take alot for granted they lived their youth with such discrimination yet they had a much more diverse and enjoyable scene than we have today.Are there any authors who can document their storys as they are too good,much better than the gay fiction /erotica we get shoved down our throats today.

its not always an intimacy or issue with sexuality thing. its often a level of attraction. ie i can readily have very physical sex with someone i'm not 100% attracted to but kissing them doesn't come as easy.

i think that's my neighbour ....near macdonald st erskineville? he always stands naked on his balcony flashing to trains etc

RE condoms. Guys with larger/thicker cocks need to have larger condoms. They're a lot easier to get on and more comfortable. One size doesn't fit all.

bah...everyone flashes to the trains! nudity rules!

anyone here have a fetish for jockstraps?

I'm inclined to agree, but for me 'no kissing' has nothing to do with attraction--I just don't enjoy it.

I've seen some mouths out there, that make me wonder how the owner can keep a tongue in there!

I have to agree oral hygiene is not high on some gay guys.......suggestion guys get your teeth done its a much better look

Those people who have a problem with condoms sizes must be few and far between. I can fit a condom completely over my head (on my neck).

'anyone here have a fetish for jockstraps?'

No, but I have a fetish for armpits......luv to smell and taste them.......mmmmm. Also like a bit of watersports.

What's your fetish?

what on earth do you get up to in the bedroom?!?! lol

You must have a very small head.

No. My head is a regular sized head. It's just that i HATE people who bemoan "oh my penis is so large i can't put on regular sized condoms!".

yes dear. you have such a large penis that a condom won't fit on it despite the fact that condoms are designed to 99.9% of the penis population easily. perhaps you just need to learn how to put a condom on properly?

I think i have a fairly average size dick,i have trouble putting them on, I especially find it gets stuck just after the head where the shaft starts.
just thought I'd share that

i luv jockstraps!

i luv to stand naked on my balcony flashing trains!

so thick as a coke can huh

oh no. it must be mucher thicker than that! Obviously if he "has trouble putting on condoms" then it must because he is BIG down stairs. (never mind that you have to have an erection to actually put one on properly).

yeah sideways.

My bf has a thick cock (though not humungous) and he is definitely more comfortable with a larger condom. Why knock people down if they make a perfectly reasonable suggestion? Some people are genuinely larger than average.

big cocks are such a pain. I've been hauling around this tree trunk between my legs all my life and its just annoying. It never sits where i want it to , its always bursting thru my undies and its just damn uncomfortable sometimes. And then there's disgusting generalisation in the gay scene that says that because i'm hung like a telegraph pole that i have to top you all.... get over it , i like to bottom once in while. Stop being so selfish. Greedy bitches.

While I've nothing to be proud of at the moment, I remember as a child (having been cut) that it would rub against clothes and enlarge of its own accord (long before I had a secondary use for it) and prove very embarrassing because I could never get it into a position of comparative comfort.

Now that I'm adult aged, but still pre-adolescent in body development, oversize is not a problem.

When it comes to admiring telegraph poles, admiration is enough. I'm no size queen.

lol..............
Youve just met the wrong guys,
go for versatile ones,we're twice the fun.

Do you have a hormone disorder Professor?

"Do you have a hormone disorder Professor?"

To be accurate, I have an immune disorder which puts everything out of balance. All hormones are affected, so I don't even know what an adrenalin rush is--my body is permanently locked in fight or flight mode.

It also overproduces Interferon B, which has been used as a treatment for HIV/AIDS, so presumably I have potential immunity, but I'm no bug chaser to find out. When you have the flu, it's not the virus that causes runny nose and itchy eyes, it's the Interferon being used to destroy the virus that causes the symptoms.

As for the big T, my body doesn't produce enough to be useful. So you can imagine how personally confusing the gay/straight issue is/was.

Ever since I started posting here, I've made tried to be honest about everything to everybody, but it's also an exercise in being honest to myself.

Never had a guy with a big cock who was good sex. They all seem to think everything revolves around their cock and so either just stand there for you to suck or they just want to top you. No foreplay or if there is pretty useless at it.

And besides a big one is great to look at, great to pick up in yr hands but in the end for oral or bottoming they are just way too uncomfortable.

Give me an average size one anyday and someone who gives as well as receives.

Anyway my experiences ( so far ! )

"Maybe one day a big talented one will come along - Wed 5 Dec 2007 11:46:35"

HERE I AM !!!!!!!!

Tell me more

Testosterone replacement works well and is safe for men with genuinely low levels. It is not a good idea for guys with normal levels as it increases the risk of prostate cancer.

I used to know a guy at uni 15 years ago (Damien). He was 17 and I was 27. He used to go out of his way to talk to me and tell me things that he didn't tell the others in the class. I liked him and I think he liked me, but I wasn't about to make a move on him in case I was wrong, I often don't read other peoples facial expressions right when I'm invested in an outcome, otherwise I can read people really well when I don't actually care one way or the other.

It never seemed to me to be more than passing acquaintance, yes we were interacting more than the ohers but it didn't develop into a friendship. I only ever saw him in the class, I don't think I ever saw him around the campus.

I never actually made a move. Lost touch with him after about 6 or so months. Next year I saw him but he had changed his apperance so I didn't recognise him until the last second. I stood there and must have looked suprised because he smiled at me and didn't stop. By the time I realised it was actually him he had gone and I didn't get a chance to talk to him.

Now 15 years later, I know where he used to work until three months ago (he resigned - I don't know why) and I think I know where he lives cause he has a fairly unique name. I know his mobile number for certain.

I want to find a boyfriend and I did like him, and might like him now. I can't help wonder if I should contact him. He's probably forgotten about me and I don't know if we're even compatible now, we've both probably changed so much that we're no longer the people we used to be. I'm not sure if he's gay because he never told me one way or the other, don't know if he's single or almost anything else about him since I saw him 15 years ago.

So should I get in touch with him? How should I get in touch with him? Go direct and ask him for coffee to catch up (He might not even know who I am now), or perhaps something more indirect. He used to be an independent photographer so contact him about work as a ruse to gather information? I don't like the idea of being deceptive and would rather be direct, but I don't know if that would be a good idea.

Any body have any advice? Any ideas or advice would be welcome.

Thanks
David

David, Your fantasy is just a fantasy. It's almost certainly best to just leave it at that. However, if you're genuinely interested in meeting a partner, which it sounds as if you are, this will almost certainly happen - provided you take advantage of all the opportunities available in your area. So get out there baby! Good luck!

Go ahead contact him.
Just start out being mates and see if anything develops.

It will eat at you if you dont. Its already eating at you.

You're not ringing him for a fuck. Just say you were going through things, found the number and wondered what he was up to.
From the phone call you should be able to judge his response , if he has changed, if he is interested in meeting up.

Remember he was 17 so probably hadnt sorted himself out, has not got himself into a scene he enjoys and this may not be compatible with yours but you will never know to you ring.

Im now in my thrities and im finding sex not the buzz it once was.Is this common with other guys or does it mean im turning bisexual or even straight?

"Im now in my thrities and im finding sex not the buzz it once was.Is this common with other guys or does it mean im turning bisexual or even straight?"

Interesting topic this one.

I'm now 39 and I stopped getting a big buzz from sex about 5-6 years back. Being a guy who goes out clubbing once a month and doing chems i find the only time that sex is of interest to me is when i'm a bit trashed on e's or occassionally G.

Note - I am *NOT* a crystal user, so lets not drag up that old sex/hiv/crystal chestnut again please.

I suppose having sex wired is a new sensation for me in recent years to having sex when i'm sober.

Thats just my spin on things. I'm sure many can relate to me while others wont. I'm just giving you my story.

Might be an idea to go and get your testosterone levels checked. If they're low, hormone replacement therapy will get you super randy.

Whatever your belief system, have a happy holiday and spread some cheer around. Have a drink for me while you're at it.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

can i just say maybe its more you just used to it so much its not the buzz it once was.
Like a lot of things you get used to it so much it just becomes a nothing.
Like a lot of guys have sex outside the relationship, not they dont love the other person but the sex has become ?????? routine ? not exciting? you know what to expect ? etc

Of course if could be hormones but you have to be careful being a guy and having replacement testerone. I read once its only a minority who have really low levels.

I'm 52 and still get erections in the morning ? maybe not the rock hard boners from my youth but enough to do some damage with
I tried the net for hook ups and so many guys just wanted to be bottoms I admit went and got some Viagra so could give them a good pounding as I find anal after the first few minutes quite boring as guys "relax" too much and condoms get rid of a lot of the feeling etc. But when I dont take the V have no problems with decent erections and also like to have a sniff of amyl when doing oral but not too much as sometimes lessens the erection.
I virtually dont drink nor smoke, exercise about 4-5 times a week so am pretty well buzzing most of the week.

Do you exercise ? are you overweight ? these things can make your whole system sluggish including sex. If you do exercise etc and relatively in good shape then it doesnt hurt to check with the Dr just to make sure.

Thanks for the advice...
I went to the doc who says everythings OK.
perhaps its just a midlife thing

Big Hug

And happy New Yera to you too Countdownboy. I hear from a little blackbird that you have some exciting plans for 2008!

When I was out for a drink with two friends one of my friends knew some other people that heard me say I thought I was bisexual. My friends once told me they think they are bisexual too. These people started to argue I could not be bisexual and were quite angry. I saw them last week and said hello but they ignored me and looked the other way. The only sex I have had was with a guy 12 years older than me and he had a similar opinion to these people. I am 23 and think I have more time to decide if I want to be one thing or the other. Why do people that don't know me get so upset when I am just being honest.

David, over anumber of years I remember contacting three old friends. In one case I thought we had changed and had little in common,with another we still got along well although we have not had much contact because we are busy but in the third case we picked up on a rewarding and lasting friendship. All these friends were keen for us to meet again after 10 years or more so you have nothing to lose by trying.

Craig, the behavior of these people is so gay. They have closed minds and probably feel threatened by anyone not exactly like them. I call such people “sexuals”, meaning that they think of most things only in sexual terms.

The real world is changing. Many people no longer care about old ideas and terms concerning sexual orientation.

Hi, why don't you just say that you're a trisexual, that'll fuck em up!!! LOL. That type of attitude is the reason many of us stay right away from the "scene". There's a wonderful life out there beyond the clubs and the saunas.
royboi

Why say anything?
Who really gives a frig what you are/who've you've been with.
It does get a bit boring all these people claiming they're Bisexual.Sure probably some are but why make a deal out of it.To me it doesn't make you a more attractive potential shag it does quite the opposite cause it usually means baggage.Look at how many poofs make fools out of themselves by pretending(and themselves believing) that they are bisexual.Its kinda like being a married poof...I like ****ing with men private but like women publicly.
Nothing personal to you Craig,your probably a nice guy but some guys need to keep somethings to themselves.

Craig,

Have you noticed that when it comes to sex, there is a tendency for people to imagine themselves to be in some exclusive category and then, in spite of the facts, they convince themselves that their chosen way is best?

Actually most of us are simply human.

Brokeback Mountain was often thought to be a film about two gay characters. The film review below explains how the evidence indicates otherwise.

http://datelinehollywood.com/archives/2006/01/03/review-brokeback-mountain-a-tragic-love-story-between-two-men-and-their-wives/#more-598

From reading Pinkboard I get the impression that outdated ideas about sexual orientation are still very much alive and well.

Sort of agree with you there.

I have 2 friends who sexual orientation to them is something major and to be announced when meeting people.
They also seem to have way more hang ups about it and dare I say they are from very religous families ?

Me, I dont give a frig as you say to what people do or what they think of me. I have had a couple of bosses actually say to me that they liked my approach to sexual orientation and that I had helped some other closets within the company become more open about themselves and to relax more in the work environment and doing all this by just being me, not confrontational or hung up about it.

If someone doesnt like me whether its about my sexuality and/or personality, they have that right and I just leave them alone.

Those 2 guys who later ignored you Craig are not true friends and unless you are hard up for friends, then fuck em.

Those sort of friends you do not need in your life. Life is stressful enough without people like that so personally I would not be bothering with them nor trying to work them out.

"Hector Scott, 41, of Kingston - who prostituted himself using the names Adam and Josh in the local newspaper during 2007 - faced the ACT Magistrates Court today charged with one count each of knowingly infecting someone with a STD, and failing to register as a sex worker.
He was released on bail with conditions, which were not read out in court and ACT Health and police have refused to disclose.
ACT Chief Health Officer Charles Guest said the matter was very serious, but not an emergency, and the department was taking precautionary measures.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/std-spreading-sex-worker-bailed/2008/01/18/1200620200363.html

Hi, a few months ago I posted about worrying about first time bottoming. Well, I finally got my first time...and it wasn't exactly what I expected. Probably being a hypochondriac, but I just found the sensation of the guy's cock jamming against my innards really confronting. It wasn't as though he was "huge". And he was very supportive, taking things very slowly. I'm just wondering what others think out there: was I just not relaxing? Was there something I or he could've done to make the experience better?

Appreciate any comments you have.

Yes the key to it all is to try and relax. Some things you could try.

Get some small dildos and play with them on your own first to get your arse used to the feel of something up there.

Sit on your partners cock, that way you can control the situation.

Lots of foreplay (start with a finger) and lots of lube.

Push back with you arse (like when you're having a shit) as his cock is going in.

Practice. practice. practice.

Eros or pjur lube are great slippery and condom friendly lubricants. Much better than wet stuff or cheaper products.

Its just like riding a bike. Soon you'll be aching for it.

Enjoy the ride.

2 things come to mind -

1) maybe you are not a bottom ?

2) which position did you do it in ? To really get to the prostrate , usually on your back with legs up is the
best or sitting on it. Doggy style can be a bit as you described.

Thanks for the reassurance and the advice, guys.

You're right, by the way. Now I think about it, I preferred legs up or sitting to doggy. I tried them all to see what was more comfortable.

I'd be interested to know what other people's first (and second?) times were like. Anyone?

Actually, there are fair numbers of people who really don't like it or are not greatly fussed about it and would rather do other things. It's not everyone's cup of tea.

Agree
i would much rather have all the licking/teasing/sucking
over just shoving it in or getting it shoved into you.
Most guys dont know how to "prepare" themselves and relax too much you get no feeling at all. Not everyone mind you but enough to make not be bothered with it.

A good tongue and good mouth cannot be beaten

http://youtube.com/watch?v=gG8FXAqoX1A

My advice
"enjoy the ride"
It is probably your hangups(not being rude but we all do atleast the first time) stopping you from enjoying yourself...
Having a penis inserted into your bottom is at first a shock to your body as it is a very private part of you.
Dont be ashamed of making noise ,,,,

Noises yes.

Screams no

The licking/teasing/sucking for me should usually be the precursor for good anal sex...doesn't necessarily have to be one or the other, and it doesn't have to be 'shoved in'...unless I want it that way....and then after that, there's fisting, which is a totally different (intense and mindblowing) experience again.

Maybe I'm a tight-ass, but when I look at the size of what hurts on its way out into the toilet, and compare it to the size of my own feeble fists, there is no way anyone's going to try sticking one up there.

I agree entirely with Ouch!

tee hee.

I have never been able to bend and take it.

I need lots of foreplay and to be relaxed and comfortable with the guy and for him to make me relax
to take it which means I only do that once every few years ! At one stage didnt take it for about 15 years. Recently tried it 3 times but I kept choosing big ones
and they were definately an OUCH ! and was not comfortable at all.

Have always enjoyed the foreplay much more.

I hope to have fun at the party.It will be nice to met a hot boy> Please come and ask me my name

I've been hoping for that to happen to me for about 20 years and nothing ?

I am 35 and you?
I am sure that you are not plain at all...
Do not wait. Please make sure to show your interest to someone you like.
Do not be shy, You will be surprise( be confident).
My MOTO If I want I can.
I really hope to see you at the party...

That have to make it obvious to me Nicolas otherwise I dont make the move on them.

when your plain you just dont have the confidence to make the first move.

the plain one?
just what exactly is plain?

Hey Boss , there it is , The plain the plain the plain ... there it is !!!! The plain the plain the plain ...

Darling, with enough E, nobody is plain!

I will be at the right corner of the rhi with my friends.

"I will be at the right corner of the rhi with my friends."

The RIGHT corner depends on your timing

See Nicolas

when yr plain like me even other posters take the p*ss
out of you.

What is plain ? average bod, average cock, very average looks.
Not hot, not cute, not spunky.
Dont think I am ugly.

So yes plain.

Plain does not exist.
this is just a question of perception.
See you on the dance floor.

There is always someone worse off than you are. You say you're not ugly. So what about ugly people? How do you think they cope? So cheer up! You're only plain!

HAPPY MARDI GRAS. ENJOY BOYS

Nobody's plain or ugly after a few e's.

Wait for the 3am - 4am walk around then you will see....

no ones plain....
everyone has some attractive features,
or do you mean plain as in not blonde,under 23 with abs?

I had sex with hot and average buddies
I had great time with both.

It's having sex with plain people as they are so grateful for the attention.

"It's having sex with plain people as they are so grateful for the attention"

I think you're mistaken. Those people having sex with you are actually fulfilling their community service commitments for the week.

No no no

didnt you read my earlier post.

I have found the really good looking ones are DUDS

so nothing to be thankful for !

Hahahahahahahahahahaaaa


well I wish someone would fulFILL me

could do with a good ****

Have a great time at the party.

see you on the dancefloor and maybe more?

hope to see happy people for a safe night.

Valentine's day coming up.

This is one wallflower that has never received any flowers

I was stunned to discover recently that my boyfriend (aged 36) had never received flowers in the whole of his life! He was completely blown over to get some! It was the easiest (and nicest) thrill to give him.

Well got another decade on him Paul D.

I could cry, I could just cry sometimes.

So how do you meet guys nowadays ? if you dont go to the bars ?

I was warned off gaydar. Tried all the other similar sites but is it me or are all those internet sites filling up with weirdos/freaks/email bashers/insecure types ?

If they are married or bi , 90% state they are bottoms and dont kiss/cuddle/reciprocate.
If you get a reply sent at 2 or 3 or 4am, forget them as they probably whacked off and went to bed and dont reply.
They lie about themselves ? why ? a couple of hook ups were gym toned guys. One turned up got undressed and there was the gut ! must have seen me look and said "oh havent trained for 6 months". Another sent pic coming out of water. Turned up and said " oh the pic is 2years old".......... everyone knocks a few years off and can accept that but lying about your body shape and/or cock is just plain embarrassing when you turn up.

Then there are those that agree to meet up and sms/email 15mins before to say still at work.......or dont show then send email with the sorry stuck in traffic line.

Then the email bashers are another category ! start off emailing nicely then turn ! start calling names etc and then denying they are bi. I told one was going to report him and he emailed back all apologetic etc but didnt reply and left him hanging wondering if he was being reported.

So have given up on the internet sites as came to one conclusion. No matter how good looking, no matter how big the cock, no matter how good a blow job they promise to give there is one thing the internet cannot show and that is chemistry.

And so I have started exploring the saunas but as I live outside Sydney cannot visit as often as want to but so far its thumbs up for the one in sussex st and the chemistry thing works.......... ie catch the other persons eye they either hold the look or look away but there is no real talk just whip the towel off and one of you is on your knees doing the deed.

So where to go where you can have some talk with the coffee and sex following ?

Well, probably most men have never received flowers! It's still very much a women thing. And I'm amazed at how much importance women attach to them.

.
.
.
Happy Valentines Day
.
.
.

Happy Valentine's Day to you "The Plain One".....

It's the plain one's who have all the fun.....

you better not be two timing Noisy Gypsy

Yes, happy Valentine's Day to you too (Not) Plain One. I think it's true - there's someone for everyone - if you're only able to see it! I have seen many instances in which suddenly people decide that they're ready for a relaionship and - bang! - someone drops right in their lap. You might be next!

Well no flowers

no smiles

no nothing

Plain One, I think you're just determined to sit in the corner weeping quietly into your hankie! What events are you going to in the MG Festival? How are you going to meet that kind, gentle, funny man with a good honest face who'se waiting out there for you?

Hahaha

no Paul D am not the weeping in the hankie " oh wow is me type"
I just know where I stand in the scheme of things - a wallflower.
Not good looking/not overweight/not muscled/not hairy, just sit squarely in the middle and so always get overlooked......... yeah sounds sad saying it like that but hey , thats me.
Average looks/average bod/average cock.

I have lots of great friends and will only be going to Fair Day and the Party this year. Normally add in some movies and/or show but quite a few have started new jobs etc so its not worked out this year to do anything more and would never step out on my own.

Went to Fair Day.

Was great, lots of people, lots and lots of dogs. Great atmosphere although drag shows completely lost all effect in broad daylight ( for me anyway ).

But the guy with the free hugs sign just kept on walking past me

I have been thinking about how a few of my teenage friends a few years younger than me seem to be dating a male friend in much the same way that some guys date girls and they start at a younger age. They go together to the same places with their straight friends. They aren’t learning from other gay guys anymore and don’t follow their pattern of promiscuity. Have other people noticed this?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Craiag

lots of teenagers have been doing that and not just
recently.

I know plenty of gay guys and including me who go out with straight friends to movies/dinner/bbq's/weddings etc and I dont mean I am friends with females. Its mostly straight guys.

I work with guys in the 20's who dont go near Oxford St . Not afraid of it, just dont need it.

I know a guy in early 30's who had no idea what Fair Day is !!!!!!!!!!!!! just never moved in the gay circles of Oxford St or parties etc.

Sure decades ago it they/we would be in the minority of hanging out with straights etc but nowadays there are quite a few who happily mix it up with all and sundry.

Sounds like an excellent development - steady partnerships, acceptance by friends (and hopefully family), a flat with a cat, meals at home - what could be better (and healthier) than that?

"Disease carriers may be detained without charge.
People carrying dangerous diseases and sexually transmitted infections, such as HIV, could be detained without charge and forced to undergo medical treatment under legal changes.
Those affected could be banned from venues such as nightclubs, public baths or bars and have to submit to supervision or face the threat of a $50,000 fine. They could also be forced to take antibiotics.
Dr Weeramanthri said the Bill was based on a principle of precaution; officials could act on suspicions faster.
You can't just use the lack of definitive evidence as an excuse for not acting. "
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23267278-421,00.html

Mmmm. Hmmmmm.
So what options are left to live one's life as a gay person? The vice is getting tigher. (Hey- even suicide is illegal)
If they want to tighten the vice on "vice", then at least allow us the option of steady relationships that are supported by legal recognition of equal marriage. At the moment it's like you don't know which way to turn, as all options are closing off, driving many to emptiness & isolation.

Some poz people are deliberately spreading the virus.
If we cannot control ourselves from harming others than yes I agree state control should be bought in.
Deliberately spreading HIV is murder plain and simple.

And please remember this is not aimed only at the gay community.

There have been a couple of cases that made the news of men infecting women.

In my mind this is along the lines of attempted murder and should be treated as such.

No excuses for any sexuality.

There needs to be some recourse for victims.

Just remember, if you don't know the person/people well enough to know their status (the other person/people may not even know their status themselves - does anybody really know if they have unsafe sex (until they're +ve)) you need to practice safe sex or accept the consequences. Please don't play the victim.

Well I look at it as anyone who has unsafe sex with unknown partners is a fucking idiot. Sorry it sounds harsh but my call.

I think you will find the posts are about those people who know they are + and deliberately infect someone.

Most of us would know someone who has been in that position.
I know a guy who never bottomed and his boyf came home one day and insisted on him being the bottom and deliberately infected him .
The guy I know is still alive, his boyf is not.

But I wouldnt need the law if someone like a trusted boyf did that to me. Would do my own justice on them.

Of course there will always be those instances where someone didnt know they were infected etc but comes down to the same thing, dont know them , them put a rubber on.

wat up bitches

Well the plain one is busting for Mardi Gras

Just day dreaming about a dreamy body coming up to me and making a pass to put a smile on my face it wont happen but no big deal. Dont want to waste valuable partying time cruising ( well thats my excuse and I am sticking to it ).

Have a great time guys - Nicholas, Paul D et al.

If you see me just mouth the words plain one. Dont worry there will only be 1 person at the party that you will be able to say that too......hahahahahahaaaa

I would like to know as well where to met other guys.
There used to be Steamworx in newcastle but it closed, now there dosent seem to be anyplace here at all.

I would appreciate it anyone could tell me if there is another place here.

I would like to know as well where to met other guys.
There used to be Steamworx in newcastle but it closed, now there dosent seem to be anyplace here at all.

I would appreciate it anyone could tell me if there is another place here.

Where else in the Newcastle area also, I'm moving there soon and would be interested to know?

have you tried
www.squirt.org

or

www.cruisingforsex.com

Hi see you on the dance floor, we should dance all night with all the boys and maybe a crusing time at some stage

See you on the dancefloor Plain one. I am sure at least 1 of the 20,000 attending will cruise and smile at you.

Nope, they didnt.

Oh well was fun with my friends.

Hey I've seen that guy...i think he's on macdonald st next the train line....damn hot guy flashing trains...i look forward to it every morning on the train..just before the train pulls up at erskineville station

What about the net? There are plenty of match-making/introduction websites out there. And they aren't illegal or dangerous like beats.

I would still suggest the personals section of Pinkboard as a good starting point. Biggest rule of all, be honest. If you were built like Arnie two years ago, but now look like Jason Alexander, admit it. At the same time, don't expect total honesty in the material you read. It's two-faced, I know, but there's plenty of mutton out there dressing up as lamb. But believe you me, when you find a worthwhile and honest piece of mutton, it's an excellent investment! If you want vain, high maintenance, skinny twinks, then say so, but make sure you have something to offer if you don't meet those same criteria--if only I could live through those years again secure in the knowledge of sexuality...

Professor you have hit the nail on the head.

I never did gaydar etc but joined a few of the others just to see how it went and the number of guys that just lied about their body shape or the size of their cock and/or age was amazing.

What you have to remember is there is someone out there for you so as you say, be HONEST.

There are boys who like boys, boys who like daddys, daddies who like boys, bears who like cubs, guys only into the beautiful ones, into fatties, thin etc.

I have though virtually given up on these sites due to the lies. 2 spring to mind - one guy said he was personal trainer etc came over, cute, took his shirt off and had a gut ! and I mean a gut! then said "oh havent trained for 6 months" then when he laid down on the bed he struck a pose with his biceps and said did I like his biceps ( think his email addy was to do with biceps) I almost laughed and nearly lost my hard on ! next guy sends pic of him coming out of the ocean and nice trim bod ( how I like them ) and hello !!!!!!!!!!!!! another gut and then says the pic was 2 years old. Of course the age thing is a laugh , most are either 29 or 39 and just learnt to add 5 years to what they say and then decide but after awhile just cancelled all of my profiles. You get hit up with so many messages/flirts/promises but they dont have the balls to go through with it.

As Professor said, best to try Pinkboard as at least you know they are gay and have the guts to visit gay sites instead of the other sites. My friends who used gaydar said it was good to start with but after awhile they all cancelled it.

Dont put in short ads like " bottom looking for a top" .
As that means you will bottom for anyones cock whether 19 or 70 , fat or thin, manly or girly.

So in your ad, state exactly what you are after, describe yourself honestly. Its better to get 1 email that is after what you have on offer than 20 emails with email ping pong asking questions and questions and then nothing happening. At one stage found myself checking my emails every 15mins for replies and stressing over it.

I find it incredibly sad that, as a society/community, we have reduced the worth of a man down to his body shape, cock size and age.

Whilst I do think honesty is the best policy, I can understand why guys bend the truth about the things that seem important to many: if you don't appear to fit the current trim/hung/youthful ideal then it's the only way to get a foot in the door, otherwise you run the risk of being left out in the cold. However, as I have heard on this forum, you're damned if you do (rejected when the truth outs) and damned if you don't (no one's interested to start with).

If we could broaden our ideas about what qualities make someone worthy of interaction (at whatever level), I think there would be less need to lie about who we really are.

And to the contributor who thought he was plain: it takes rare courage to admit to weaknesses or defects in a society that values the beautiful people; doesn't sound like you're plain on the inside.

There is no need to lie about your age. I've found that there are plenty of decent guys out there that don't care that much about how old you are, and the ones that think of age as the be all and end all, you'll find they are flakes and shallow, and you wouldn't want to know them anyway.

A big cock is nice as is a great body, but it's not everything, and if you can improve your body, do so. You like to dress well when going out, then do some gym to make yourself more attractive as well.

First impressions count of course, especially on the net, but the guys that can see beyond that are the cool ones, so don't worry about the rest, I've found most of those shallow and boring, and often rude and without manners...why waste your time on them? I certainly don't want to have sex with them, no matter how hot they look. They're a real turn-off.

So look at the positive...be honest, it can be a great filtering process, and the guys you do meet will have more substance.

Oh I am blushing.......................

I have not hesitation in stating I am average looks and/or plain, not the model type when I used to do those websites.

But to be honest I dont think its sad asking/stating your body/cock/age info. Thats the idea of these ads ie it paints a picture so to speak. Those that lie about themselves paint a different picture and so when they do turn up for a meeting they are "no oil painting" so to
speak.

I mean if you are out on the hunt , then it is at least age/body/face that you take in and decide whether its you or not, so no harm asking for that on the websites.

I just think honesty is the best policy. While those that are stunningly beautiful or have a really hung cock get more replies, you have to notice that they also still have the ads/profiles going so its no guarantee of being good looking and/or hung of meeting Mr Right. Well thats the way I look at it and what makes me feel good to know they are still on the hunt

The Plain Truth: It would be a wonderful world if we could all just type in a add that said "ANY" and people responded alike. Out in the real world, there are certain characteristics in people that we personally don't like. I'm nervous about people who will invite you into their homes, fuck you and then dump you out the front door again. I mean, if that's how I'm going to be treated, where's my $200 for services rendered?

If there's something that really turns me off a guy, it's dental hygiene. Black teeth just make me... er shudder.

I've admitted before that I have a few rolls of fat that I wish I could lose, and have unfortuantely found that those who like a bit of extra flesh on the bones don't appeal to me in personality. Maybe those sites need to split overweight into two sub-categories: Trying and Don't care. That way if a couple of "Tryings" get togethe,r and like each other, there could be a friendly rivalry/support factor in each getting back into shape.

If only eh Professor - good old fashioned honesty.

I have no problem inviting guys to my place, actually feel safer that way as its my environment and yep have fucked them and dumped them when no real chemistry there.

I do know what you mean about attraction. I am plain but I do keep myself in quite good shape as in 4-5 times per week gym etc ie trying to balance out the non-looks with a decent bod but as you say the types that are into me are just not me ! why is that ?
I dont go after looks ( obviously ) but I do like the gym ( not bunny ) or sports look. I really like guys who are stocky like the footy players or the guys you see at the gym who are naturally solid boys but not overweight.
But as I am the slim line version ie 5'9" and 65kg I just dont attract them what I do attract just does nothing for me and wont say who so I dont offend those types

My "sad" comment was about my own feelings for those who don't measure up on the conventional body/cock/age scale, rather than a criticism of anyone who has a preference for a certain type. It's partly self-directed, as I'm at the less desirable end of the body/cock/age spectrum on all counts.

I acknowledge that fundamentally we are driven by primary biological urges and that gets expressed via what characteristics attract us, so it would be foolish to ignore that reality. If all you are after is a shag, then yeah. I was just expressing a hope/wish/desire that we are each much more than that.

But, society seems to create an ideal for what is desirable and those that don't meet it are dismissed to varying degrees: which creates a strong incentive to at least appear to meet the ideal; hence the bending of the truth in adverts, or going to great lengths to mould ourselves into what we think others will find attractive.

It's curious that history valued the voluptuous woman, yet today what is held up as the model of attraction in hetero circles is very different, so culture obviously has a major influence too on what we find desirable. I wonder how much of what we think we find attractive is a result of subliminal conditioning that goes unchallenged. I mean Gaydar for instance has an emphasis on youth in the images they present on their entry web page: it's very attractive as who doesn't want to be young; but it leaves the impression that is all that is important (or desirable) and, let's face it, aging is a reality (which we don't want to face), but just one of many. There's evidence that junk food advertising influences our decisions, for example.

I would really be interested how attitudes might change if there were personals sites that weren't so sex or youth focussed, but explored more of the whole person. Unfortunately, sex sells.

Well you can forget about the internet then as sex sells and it would be a very game company who started up one without sex.

To find someone with like interests wouldnt you be better off finding a group that actually meets ? whether
it be astronomy/stamp collecting/trekking/car racing etc ? and hope you find someone that way ?

The net is totally soulless but the main thing the net will never be able to get across is chemistry.

Chemistry is what makes things work and no matter how good someone looks in their pics or how big their cock , if the chemistry is not there then usually its a once only meet up and thats it or a few meets before it fizzles. Thats why I gave it up. I had quite a few hook ups via the net and 90% there was no chemistry. The other 10% there was something there but they were not wanting anything more than a root or with the 1% that I really clicked with , "things" started to come out over the next few meets which just were not me eg one wanted to wear "frilly" things not me I'm afraid but he had the best cock ! another wanted it all his way eg he only wanted to fuck me and wanted me to suck to completion. Hello what will you do to me ? Another was a young guy who just ended up being a total bottom and did nothing but get undressed and just flop onto the bed with butt in the air and also gave nothing back. Then of course there are the weirdo's , those I felt just could not accept their sexuality eg I'm Bi or I've got a g/f or
I'm married. Most gay guys dream to score a "straight" guy but the majority where f***ed in the head about themselves and rarely was sex a two way thing they just lay there like starfish. And then it came down to the email abusers and teasers who just sit at the keyboards tugging away over an email. Those were the sad ones.

So I cancelled all my profiles. Went back to either cruising some beaches near me on the south coast or going to Sauna's when in Sydney. That way chemistry came into play. You made eye contact with those you like, they either look away or they make eye contact with you.
All over and done with in a morning or an afternoon and none of the fucking around with the net sites.

So if it means less sex than what I was getting via the net so be it. The stress/anxiety I got from the net from constantly checking my emails all the time, to waiting on them to arrive etc and that can be days worth of emailing etc to finally hooking up is just not worth it.

I have been thinking of looking around for a like minded group that have similar interests and going along to see whats there but havent done anything just yet. My week is stress free as no emails and my weekends are quite relaxing with a book, sunbaking and seeing if anyone is up for a play or when in Sydney for work , just heading to the tubs after work and so far, touch wood, have been in and out so to speak within 2 hours and have left very happy.

How about joining a club for something that interests you ?

I have given up on the net as there is one thing that it cannot get across and that is CHEMISTRY.

It makes no difference how the person describes their bods/cocks/looks or how they look in their pics.

Like most I have taken or wasted days lining up a meeting only to find that if the person didnt lie about themselves there is just no chemistry between us.

So I have started trialling the sex clubs/saunas as you make eye contact with someone, they make eye contact with you and keep it or they look away. All over and done with in seconds and off you go to a quiet place and get it on. No 10's of emails, hours/days wasted.

Unfortunately 99% of those sites are sex orientated as to be honest it is part of what drives us

I'm with you mate. These internet sites are such a waste of time. Ad a minimum of 5 years to how old they say, take their photos at face value - cause when you meet up with them they look nothing like the photo or their description. And as you say if there is no chemistry it is a big waste of time. Saunas and sex clubs are so much better - plus they give you something to do until you hook up with the right guy. 357, Bodyline, Headquarters here I come. Is Ken's still a viable option? Have heard it has quitened down there.

Well my take on the sauna's has been

King Steam - older crowd with some younger guys only into the older guys so frustrating ( as I am not old nor young ). When I have been there average 20 or so guys.


Ken's - mixed crowd but as you say quiet'ish . When there on average 20 or so guys.

Bodyline - never been game as told its the young Oxford St pretty boys with attitude ? but correct me nicely if I am wrong

357 - lots of Asians with lots of guys after the Asians so can be very frustrating ( and no offence to anyone ) as you see someone you like and they dont even give you a second look but on average anywhere from say 40-60 guys there and I have always managed to score 1 or 2 and be gone within 2 hours.

No endless emails, stories, promises and days wasted hooking up with someone that sounds good and turns out no chemistry. I have friends who have hooked up with guys they have chemistry with etc but even they say it took a lot of doing and in the end they just said the net just took up way too much time and that the sauna's or massages or escorts where the way to go.

And sorry about my 2 posts. I thought the 1st one might have been too explicit for Panther to allow as it took awhile for it appear so put in 2nd post watered down

Thanks for the suggestions, but groups are difficult for me as I'm SP (Social Phobic).

I prefer to develop an interaction with others online, based on shared interests, progress to "presence" interaction and hopefully a friendship. If there is mutual chemistry, then maybe something more intimate could develop. I must be really weird, because sex isn't top of my priority list. Unfortunately (for me), most guys have the process completely reversed in that they want sex->chemistry->friendship and if you can't accommodate, then they are out of there ASAP.

Maybe it's because most of the sites are commercial (and therefore sex orientated, since sex sells), that they have become simply ways to get a shag and have lost any effectiveness as a way for like minded individuals (in a broad sense) to get in contact on a more 1-1 basis and develop an interaction (whatever that may be, sex being only one possibility).

Consequently, if one is simply looking for sex, then an extended email interaction can be frustrating, but if one is looking for the development of a friendship first, then extended "getting to know you" approaches are very appropriate. Sure you can't convey chemistry online, but you can learn a lot about someone in an extended communication. The more you communicate, the more the real person will be revealed anyway.

I wonder if it is possible that many of those who are berated as time wasters are in fact looking for more than just sex, but only have the sex orientated sites available and then think they have to bend the truth to even be acceptable there.

It's a difficult thing to admit in public that you aren't that interested in an anonymous shag and/or have health issues and/or have body/cock/age issues and still be considered a worthwhile gay man. I can sure understand someone bending the truth on Gaydar, for example, just to get a foot in the door: it's ultimately destructive, but I can understand why it can happen.

me too
watch out for me just before erskineville train station
i luv to flash in my jockstrap!

Hmmmmmmmmm

I have to disagree with you to a point but respect your view but glad you do you realise you are in the minority of the order you want things

For me its the shag first. A dud root is a dud root and no amount of chemistry is going to fix that and no amount of training is going to make them better unless they are 18 of course but i prefer guys late 20's early 30's and if they havent got it right by then !
well its bye bye.

To me the way you are going you would end up with more friends ? ie lots in common but thats as far as it goes. Of course all it takes is for 1 person to be Mr Right.

I think you can learn to like the others persons passions/hobbies within reason etc but have always found amongst my friends that if someone is no good in the sack then eventually they start to wonder eg someone who wont be the bottom or wont suck. You put up with it for awhile but eventually you just need that bottom or that mouth and so you wonder. I have friends who have been so called partners for years but get the sex elsewhere. To me they are just good friends, they have similar things they like to do together but when it comes to the bedroom they are total opposites. Took about 3 years or so for them to sexually start to wonder.

Believe me those people who get berated for being time wasters are just that. I have never had emails trying to work out my likes/dislikes etc they just want more pics or stories etc or wont take no for an answer. I had to cancel 2 email addresses because of time wasters constantly contacting me.

I'm sure you will get there but it may take some time.

The simple solution to meeting guys is get off your arses and be available.
Go to a gay bar(yes I know its more popular to knock than respect these places) and go out in public.
We can all sit back and perve at hotties on the screen and dream or we can do something about it.
keep yourself healthy and clean.Not many of us will give a second glance to a guy that looks like a street urchin.
Remember that you are responsible for personal traits that can be changed, so change them and make yourself more attractive.Get over the "plastic people" bull we hear all the time.Get over fear of rejection,without trying how can you gain?

Sigh.

Guys spilling their guts, others posting their problems and along comes Troy and says all you have got to do is clean yourself up and get to a gay bar.

Well Troy if you took the time to read the posts correctly you would see one guy is a social phobic and how do you know that the rest of us are all in Sydney ?
and whats with the clean yourself up comment ? you think guys sitting at home look like urchins ? I would have thought more of a chance of coming across a street urchin on Oxford St ? you think we are all blobs ? dont shower ?

Your posting lost all credibility with all those comments.

So please remember some people are not as out going as you are and have problems with crowds and/or dont live in Sydney or live so far out in the burbs its hard to get to a gay bar and one last thing Troy , the world does not revolve around gay bars ! shock horror !

The only thing worst than a homophobe is a gay homophobe.
I don't live in Sydney I live 2 hrs out of Perth yet I can make an effort to occasionally head up to the court or Connie's.I don't go every night of the week.I probably go every few months.I am not out to the whole world only a few close friends .
As I said before if you don't make an effort you only have yourself to blame.
As for my comments on being clean and presenting yourself well it wasn't directed personally at you, It was a mere suggestion for guys to improve themselves.

Your post still does not make sense ?

who is a gay homophobe ?

Never took the suggestion about being not clean myself but take exception you think the posters here saying they are having problems meeting people are the ones that need to clean themselves up.

If you dont make an effort ? again go back and read the posts and read what difficulties some guys are having. It is not a case of have a shave and shower and drive to the nearest gay bar. You just dont seem to understand there is some more deeper problems in life.